Hi, could anyone advise whether a bridesmaid should be single? Could someone who's married be be my bridesmaid? I have some problems finding someone who is not married be my bridesmaid. Could someone advise?
My bridesmaid is married with two kids! For me, it's most important that she be someone truly special and who has shared ups and downs with me... and be a true, true friend... Single or married does not matter!
my fren whos a catholic insisted tat her bridesmaid muz be single. so she chose me (tat time i not married yet).. if u are talking abt JieMeis, i tink betta to ask both sides parents if they mind anot.. for my case, hub's grandpama insisted tat muz be single..
A bridesmaid can be married, they are called Matrons of Honour..
i am going to be married b4 my best friend.. recently she sms me saying that all jie mei's and bridesmaids MUST be single.. (supposedly, a married one will curse the brides)... so sad to think that a person will think that her best friend is a curse to her..
Actually it doesn't matter whether bestman or bridesmaid is married. You choose them b'cos they are close to you (be they family or friend) and know they will offer you support on the biggest day of your life. My husband chose his brother to be bestman b'cos he considers his brother to be his best friend even though his brother is married with four kids.
There is no right or wrong to this matter, my philosophy is do what you feel comfortable with and follow your heart.
one of my best friend oso said she cant be my jiemei coz she's married slightly b4 me tho i dun mind at all.. and the worst thng is she cant even attend my wedding coz she says our wedding is too near.
so upsetting that ur fren cant be thr during ur most impt day due to pantangness!
yeah, agree still got some pantang ppl around. my very good frenz who's single oso refused to be my jiemei coz she said she's already been jiemei twice and wanna leave the last time for her sister (apparently she believed that being jiemeis for more than 3 times in her life, she wun get married)...sign...i hv been jiemeis myself for 5 times. was so upset with her for a couple of months. now only more settled, indiv choice lah. but i still feel a bit sour and tink it said alot about our frenzship and how close we truly are. jiemeis are those frens you wanna stand besides you on this impt day and they should oso be frens who wanna stand besides and support you tat day. if pantang pantang until like dis, sometimes, i wonder how much they truly value our frenzship....
yah yah i agree.i was also upset with a so called "best fren" of mine,oways say i m her best fren bt when her wedd in oct mine is dec she say she cannot be my jie mei cos her mil oppose diao~~ tot frens wedd in between got 1 mth interval is enuff le mah.my bridesmaid will b mixture too single and married,whereas hubby side is all married men hahaha
Sunny gal, I guess when it involves another family, it is better to heed the advice than don't. I think your friend don't feel good at all as she cant do much. If you wish her to be happy, let her be and don't make things difficult for her.
I have the same problem too. At my age, most of my friends are already married (or divorced). Somemore my future MIL is saying those born in the year of Pig / Tiger can't attend the ceremony. My goodness. Might as well bar all from the banquet too. Mad.
me too here...joining in this club...my close friends (sistas) 4 of them say that they have all been jiemei for 3 times by the time of my wedding in Dec next year ,and another one say she is married cannot be jiemei, so all are unable to be my jiemei. I was rejected flat in the face. feeling quite sore too...is my wedding going to be without jiemei....i show them a sad face, and say I am not bantang, why are all of you so bantang. They kept quiet, and my friend who is married said, she is very poor thing this means she has no jie mei....they start to ask me - you have no other friends to be your jiemei meh ? i feel even more sad....I thought close friends will be more than happy to celebrate and help out with your wedding ?
Don't be sad plasterbride. How about asking some of your other gf whom were married? I'm doing that in my case. But was guilty that I'm not able to attend my own best friend's wedding which is going to be held in the same mth as me. I personally am not pantang, but its my FIL who believes that it has to be at least 3 mths apart. So I bo pian lor... Now, she definately can't be my jiemei and vice versa. Haiz... but I may secretly attend her wedding dinner, but scared that my FIL knows and be unhappy...arrghh dilemma... sorry for the ranting.
I was also also very exasperated with my good frd... she says she wans to be my bridesmaid, but till now she did nothing to help. In fact it is my other frd who is my jie mei who did more. Then when i told her that she will need to go BS with me to BS for fitting cos she needs to learn how to handle my gown (dress me etc)... she was like "huh i dun knw can take leave or not..." What for I have a bridesmaid who can't help? But she is my frd for 10 over yrs....haizzz...
Must the number of jiemei same as groom's brothers? I dun hv as many close frens as my HTB leh... Must they be in even number?
like 4 pairs and not 5 pairs? Actuallu i very pai seh to trouble my good frens leh... Juz wan them to enjoy my big day too instead of stress them over...
Ya... the tradition also upset me. My cousin who is very very close to me (as we are 2 months apart in age), is planning to get married 1 or 2 months after me.. So, we are not allowed to go each other wedding.. AND!!! one of my good friends (from Sec school) is getting married 1 month before me, yet I cannot invite her to my wedding....
It is very upsetting, but I was thinking, if we ignore such tradition and COINCIDENTALLY, something bad fall upon one of the brides.... someone will start blaming someone.... So... even though we dun like it.. maybe it is better if we follow.. Because if someone tell us that playing wif fire is dangerous, why should we purposely play with fire..
But of course, I feel that there is a limit of how many of these traditions we can follow.. There are so many other superstitions that is impossible to follow in today's context. So.. We just do what we can do.. Because if it can bring us good luck and prevent bad luck from falling upon us.. why not just follow it
Marssella I have the same problems with you but I would most likely be still sttending my friend's banquet =) I feel that banquet is not part of the chinese customary marriage and I treat it as a celebration meal.
Ya.. that's what I think too.. the banquet is just a dinner.. so I feel it is okay, but my MIL thinks otherwise.. So.. I will keep quiet until near the date.. Because i really really dun wan to miss her wedding because we are very close.
Not a must. For my own wedding, I only requested my jie meis to wear white colour dresses if they have. For others who have budget, they may sponsor them with custom made dresses of the same colour. (^.^)
i do agree with babe. me and my close fren will be jiemei for each others wedding despite our wedding is less then a week away. but to us we value each other so much that we really just want the other party to be there to share this special moment and memory with us.