Break up? Or stay on? :(

[Smileymiley123]

Hi everyone. I'm a 27 year old female and it's been almost four years of being together with my partner, yet doubts about the relationship never goes away. Just to summarize:

- feels like something is wrong all the time
- impatient, I need someone who's really patient with me, as I'm an impatient person as well. All my life.
- Both are Easily angsty and sensitive
- Moving away from my family and friends, and a fantastic workplace
- Feeling wronged and misunderstood
- Trapped and stressed..
- Clashing personalities. He needs someone independent, yet I'm a person who likes to depend on others. Need someone who likes taking the lead, and knowing what to do
- Hard to talk things out with, without entering into an argument
- Numb, no feelings, routine life
- Constantly scared, need to filter words. Stressed. Tired. Numb.
- Both like to wallow in self pity.
- Not truly happy..
- often confused, lost..
- I like to share about my things, and like it if my partner shares with me as well but he always keeps to himself.

The reason why I'm staying on is because he truly loves me a lot and is a very committed partner. I doubt I can find anyone else like that but honestly, its only been four years together, yet there are so many problems. How to face each other 24/7 for years after getting married?

 

[Staypositive]

Hi everyone. I'm a 27 year old female and it's been almost four years of being together with my partner, yet doubts about the relationship never goes away. Just to summarize:

- feels like something is wrong all the time
- impatient, I need someone who's really patient with me, as I'm an impatient person as well. All my life.
- Both are Easily angsty and sensitive
- Moving away from my family and friends, and a fantastic workplace
- Feeling wronged and misunderstood
- Trapped and stressed..
- Clashing personalities. He needs someone independent, yet I'm a person who likes to depend on others. Need someone who likes taking the lead, and knowing what to do
- Hard to talk things out with, without entering into an argument
- Numb, no feelings, routine life
- Constantly scared, need to filter words. Stressed. Tired. Numb.
- Both like to wallow in self pity.
- Not truly happy..
- often confused, lost..
- I like to share about my things, and like it if my partner shares with me as well but he always keeps to himself.

The reason why I'm staying on is because he truly loves me a lot and is a very committed partner. I doubt I can find anyone else like that but honestly, its only been four years together, yet there are so many problems. How to face each other 24/7 for years after getting married?

You would need to share these issues with your partner in order to address them.Do so in a calm manner.listen to what he has to said instead of getting defensive.Since you said he truly loves you and is committed to you,he may be willing to make some changes for your sake.No one is perfect.Marriage isn't about finding a similar partner.its more about how the couple work together to sort out their differences and learning to accept each other flaws.anyway no relationship is smooth sailing,every couple will encounter obstacles. The longevity of the relationship would depend on how the couple manages them.Take care and may you find the answer to ur question.

 

[pikachuuu]

I think you already know what you should do...

I find " he truly loves me a lot and is a very committed partner" contradicting to stuff you said above.
When people are committed and in love they are
a) happy
b) have a common direction to go towards to
c) most certainly have no need to filter words because they are scared all the time

 

[littlepinkpointes]

He truly loves u and is committed, but u are feeling suffocated and scared?

Have u tried talking to ur partner about ur above mentioned concerns? And these issues, did they recently surfaced or has it been going on for a while?

 

[newproject]

I can't tell your list of points which refers to him and which to you.

I really can't tell if the problem lies with his personal issues , your personal issues or you both simply not compatible.

You need to figure out if it's something in you causing the unhappiness if so breaking up and later getting with someone else and it will start again .

 

[ing1]

I would suggest you guys go for marriage prep course which will force u guys to think and understand each other as a couple. Of coz, tts if u have intention to save yr relationship. Pardon me, you sounded like u r giving up, jus looking for supporting voices here.

 

[JaneLi]

Communication is the key for any marriage/relationship to last. It's cliche but it's a fact. If you don't tell each other what both of you are thinking about, it will lead to more misunderstandings,quarrels etc.