Break up after 1 month of Ceremony

lilylin

New Member
Hi everyone,

I'm writing this post with a hope to receive your advise for my sad situation.
My ex and me have known each other since 2017 when we were working together. I live in Vietnam and he's Singaporean (originally from Taiwan).
Normally he travelled to Vietnam twice a month and sometimes I go to SG to visit him. The love and care were very great from each side. Except, he never let anyone know about our relationship for after such a time. I'm ok as I either don't want anybody in the office to gossip about it, so we spent time together privately every time we met.

2019: After 2 years, I asked my ex about what is his intention about career life and me. As I don't want to waste each other time for a no-result long distance relationship. He tried convinced me that he will be transferred to Vietnam at the end of the year and if not, I will move to SG.

Mid year of 2019, he proposed me and planned to guarantee me as a finance to SG. He said the documents seems complicated and required many papers and he said will handle that. Of course, at that moments, for any girls, there's no other happiness than that. And I'm eager to plan for the ceremony. And for this part, he suggested me to handle. He also plan to do in Vietnam first and then SG after that.

I was very excited and happy, I quit my job, do my part to prepare every things from A-Z. Before do anything I also discuss and show him, but what he reacted is sending the money and let that things for me to handle.
When the time comes close, everything was booked and invitation were sent...he showed his low interest in the ceremony and mentioned nothing about the preparation in SG for me and said let wait for a while. I asked him if he wants to end the things here. And he still convinced me to do the ceremony.
His family in the end cancelled to join the ceremony last minutes for urgent matter.

We continued the ceremony in Vietnam in a very unnatural way and I felt very hurtful, embarrassment. But I'm still trying myself to fix it, even I don't understand what going on with him. I spent the Lunar New Year 2020 in SG with him and under a very hot temple man, nothing were like a couple just married. And yet we haven't registered, both in Vietnam and SG.
On the 3rd day, we met his colleague in a shopping mall and he became very diffident, and introduced me as his GIRLFRIEND. Yea, things were like that!!!
When I returned to Vietnam, he kept acting weird, bully me for any reasons, and words I said. You know what I mean when some one try to catch your mistakes.
Then we broke up. I don't know if it's a funny or sad story, but what remained in me are now hurt, painful, embarrassment, lost and hating myself for trusting him so many time.

The sadness has been companied for almost a year now, Covid-19 caused me can not go there to see what happened.

In this situation, do you think I should ask for a lawyer to conduct my cases as between us still having a house in Vietnam, under my name debt from bank.

Sometimes I told myself to fucking forget this shit and move on, but sometimes I felt he has no right to ruin my life like that.

Will the law in SG can help this situation?

Many thanks for your advices.
 


Your marriage is not registered in either Vietnam or Singapore?

Suggest that you seek legal advice. Not sure if common-law marriage accords you any rights as a "spouse"
 

lilylin

New Member
Your marriage is not registered in either Vietnam or Singapore?

Suggest that you seek legal advice. Not sure if common-law marriage accords you any rights as a "spouse"
Thanks @beaverjuice . Yea, we were planning for register in SG as he convinced me that he would be transfered to Vietnam, that's why I delayed the registration before the ceremony.
And the SG seems to support their citizens rather than Vietnam.
And in the end, you will never expect such a thing happened...
 
Btw, you seemed to have kept your relationship under wrap but you have met his parents, no?

I find it "fishy" that they cancelled at the last moment....
 

lilylin

New Member
Btw, you seemed to have kept your relationship under wrap but you have met his parents, no?

I find it "fishy" that they cancelled at the last moment....
Yea @beaverjuice , I was fool by his drama. He said his parents were all passed away, only his sister. He showed me his sister's visa to Vietnam and the ticket booking. I cant speak Chinese and she cant speak English so we never call each other and he's not allow that.

To be honestly, I was fool by all he said. He's a deeply hurt man since was a child ...as what he said.
 
There is more than meets the eye and deep down you know it. Don't let him fool you again is all I can say. I'm sorry that you have met such a despicable man.

A guy should be proud of his girlfriend and not keep his relationship "underground" like he did. There may be reasons for doing that but those are reasons you wouldn't want to know nor a good man can give.
 

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