Birth of 1st baby - had miscarriage - conceive 2nd child - 2nd BB delivered: All within one year?

nolem

New Member
I'm suspecting that my hb is not the flesh and blood of my MIL.

Here are the grounds of our suspicion:
1) Elder SIL and my hb are born in the month of July, about one year apart. E.g End March 1972 and Middle March 1973

2) MIL says she had a miscarriage in-between the 2 deliveries. I.e. After giving birth to SIL, she got pregnant but had miscarriage. Then subsequently got pregnant again with my hb who was delivered one year after SIL was born.

I hv not gone thru pregnancy myself and hv little knowledge abt pregnancy. However, it sounds illogical to me that a woman can get pregnant twice, so fast after childbirth. I thought a woman is infertile for a while after delivery and miscarriage? Its jus amazing that my MIL mamage to conceive twice, sounds suspicious. The timeframe also sounds suspicious. Say preganacy is 10months, then can a woman conveive and have miscarriage within 2 months immediately after she delivered the first child?

Hope to get some advise from forumers with more knowledge on conception and possibilities of the above.
 


infojunkie

Active Member
is it gd to know?

if my memory doesn't fail me, u had MIL issues b4... hopefully, ur wanting to find out more has nothing to do wif the previous issue.
 

mootie

New Member
er... y does it bother u if ur husband is not thinking about it? er.. frankly speaking, i have a friend who's wife juz gave birth and then a month later, she got pregnant again.

nothing is impossible.. then again, there might be a possibilty that at tt point of time she's carrying twins, juz tt one did not manage to survive? nothing to woo-ha about la.
 

nolem

New Member
My MIL have been making life difficult for my hb all these while and obvious favourtism towards SIL. Since there is some suspicion from himself as well, i will want to help hiim get his query answered
 

salsa_babe

New Member
if he really wants to know, he can go straight to your MIL to find out.

No point speculating and making wild guesses here. It serve no purpose at all.
 

mark78

Active Member
Nolem are u stirring trouble?
Are you trying to sow discord. "Since there is some suspicion from himself as well, i will want to help hiim get his query answered."

You jolly well know what is your true intention behind this probe. Just to answer his queries or more than that..

some stones are best left unturned.

"The timeframe also sounds suspicious. Say preganacy is 10months, then can a woman conveive and have miscarriage within 2 months immediately after she delivered the first child? "

Read more.. google more and most importantly think more. Your bounded rationality to purport your suspicion is a joke.
 

clipperjunk

New Member
actually can be done, had a pair of siblings in school who were 11 months apart...also, my wife's friend conceived after giving birth 2 months earlier, needless to say, she was embarrassed.

dna is the best way to verify, a strand of hair would do...the cost is $2k i think...
 

mootie

New Member
so wat if u prove ur point? wat will u and ur husband gain from it?

then wat u plan to do from there? ask ur husband to put on an ad to notify whole singapore that's he's breaking off from this family?
 

mark78

Active Member
let me guess.. hb will draw a distance from his mum and well.. at least for TS she can get rid of this naggy pain in the ass mil once and for all. well ofcoz she still need to sow discord by adding lots of no wonder no wonder no wonder.. oic.. oic oic
 

sheezh

New Member
And I also would like to add that there's the possibility that your hb might be a premature baby..??

but what's the point of finding it out?? no matter, she raise your hubby into adulthood and not left him to his death at childhood..
 

blurblurman

New Member
Whether ur hb is or is not the flesh and blood of ur MIL, no matter how unfair ur MIL can be, she will always be ur huddy's mom ...
 

mootie

New Member
wah.. mark slim down liao, so changed nick! keke..

aiya, i seiously dun understand where is TS coming from. aren't u supposed to assure ur husband that he's juz being paranoid? seriously if ur main aim is for the well-being of ur husband, ur thinking shouldn't be structured in this way.
 

mootie

New Member
doLL: might be.. this situation can be a "chip" for her. if she knows how to maipulate, then it will be to her advantage
 

mootie

New Member
haha... Chris: as long as ur blood type is the same as ur parents then no problem. unless both ur parents are O too.. then something might be wrong.
 

nolem

New Member
Whenever MIL has something against her own liking, she will force hb to listen to her and threaten that she is his mother and has every right to control his life. Hb is also under this thumb for as long. Its common that parents are willing to sacrifice and place the interest of their child as priority but the opposite happens to MIL and hb.

IF she is afterall not the flesh and blood mother, then hb will not have to feel guilty abt not abiding her every whimp and can breakfree to run his own life.
 

salsa_babe

New Member
"IF she is afterall not the flesh and blood mother, then hb will not have to feel guilty abt not abiding her every whimp and can breakfree to run his own life."

Excuse me....the MIL has raised your HB since young. So you are trying to say, as long as you or HB can prove that the MIL is not his natural mother, he can heck care abt the mother?
 

mootie

New Member
shouldn't he be old enough to decide wat he wants? nobody is asking him to be a mummy's boy right? of coz every mother wants the best for their kid. for some elders, due to the environment they grew up, the experience they have, they might know better wat's gd or not.

perhaps in this case it's more like the lack of communication. ur MIL doesn't know how to tok to her children nicely and explain, so she juz instruct. then again, if ur husband doesn't agree, then tok to her and explain nicely. if she doesn't agree and he feel that he's right about his decision, then juz go ahead.

i've seen ppl who make their own decision despite objection from their whole family. even to the extend of being chased out and stuff. so why make her sound like a monster when ur husband don't even dare to speak up?
 

bobochacha

New Member
Hi Blissful..

hehe..i think my mum is O..dad not with us anymore..so cant check..whahaha..

anyway if bro not real blood also nvm one eh..we still will treat him as real and still love him..after being so long 2gether...
 

nolem

New Member
MIl always use extremely harsh words to threaten hb, saying things like she brought him up, hshe has the right to command him etc. Says she cooks for him and brought him up so he is indebted to her and she has every right to over him.

Being a mr nice guy, its idfficult for him to not feel guilty for going against her wishes. The only way to make him feel less guilty is the the prove of this relationship. ???? Maybe bcos its getting more n more out of hand and ridiculous that prompted me to find out and to counter that claim.
 

mootie

New Member
Chris: sorry about it. my bad.. anyway, glad that u r taking it positively. that should be the spirit. and apparently TS is not having this positive thinking.

in whole: å…»æ¯æ¯”生æ¯å¤§ï¼
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
nolem, come on lah. even if its proven his parents are somehow not biologically linked to him, does it change the bond in the family?

Frankly, your husband is kind of weak. So what if his mother threatens him. It is his weakness not being firm. Instead of working on that, you go on to dig this kind of things to stir more trouble.
 

nolem

New Member
I may sound illogical or nonsense here. Many of u have made remarks about me as well...

I'm at my ends already. I really dun know what to do.... When MIL controls hb, it indirectly affects our marriage as well. I'm sick n tired of it...although it may sound ridiculous, but this is the least for some hope.
 

mootie

New Member
salsa : i think it's bullshit. sorry to sound nasty, but this is the first word that came to my mind.

seriously i think tt his mum juz wanna protect him. then nowhere came a daughter in law trying to sow discord. no wonder there're always stories of MIL and DIL. like cantonese drama..
 

bobochacha

New Member
i tot the boys in the family always get the best from mum? coz i tot mum always prefer boys..haha..

coz my mum is ah..maybe coz after our dad left her..she puts more hope on my bro..

watever hsechores $$ sis and i gave her..she pass it to my bro..hahaah etc etc..and it doesnt matter whether bro's wife treat her rude..

but my mum also can get beserk eh..she will torture us mentally..create alot of stories..then sometimes wake us up 3-4am to scold us..haha..

but we cant blame her also..coz she dont have hubby and has to take care of us 3 since young..tough 4 her too..
 

blurblurman

New Member
all decision related to ur marriage and ur own family is between u and ur hubby, and not ur MIL. whatever ur MIL said or threaten to ur hubby, it is just an advice, and final decision still from ur hubby and u...
 

mootie

New Member
wow! this muz be joke of the century! *claps*

now u r telling us that u plan to use this "biological story" about ur MIL and husband to save ur marriage? PLEASE wake up!
 

mark78

Active Member
"Whenever MIL has something against her own liking, she will force hb to listen to her and threaten that she is his mother and has every right to control his life. Hb is also under this thumb for as long. Its common that parents are willing to sacrifice and place the interest of their child as priority but the opposite happens to MIL and hb.

IF she is afterall not the flesh and blood mother, then hb will not have to feel guilty abt not abiding her every whimp and can breakfree to run his own life."

Your hb choose to be under her thumb. Its a choice. nothing to do with bloodline.

"???? Maybe bcos its getting more n more out of hand and ridiculous that prompted me to find out and to counter that claim."
Nolem, are you going to be the mother of your hb fighting for his rights?


Your approach is not trying to seek justice or to satisfy your curiosity. Its revenge. stop being so vindicative.

Maybe its your hb that is OKAY with her but the person who are finding it is a pain is you..

If you want to challenge your mil, do it yourself dont use your hb. chiam with a woman like you, a family will have many collateral damage.

tsk tsk
 

mootie

New Member
chris: wow.. wake u up at 3 or 4am juz to scold? goodness.. this muz be a mentally drained situation. but TS's situation is "far worse" than urs..
 

infojunkie

Active Member
questioning ur spouse's parentage is abt the worst tactic to employ in an ongoing feud with in-laws... u r escalating matters, not solving problem...
 

blurblurman

New Member
learn to resolve feud rather than escalting it.

Maybe, i bet u already know what kind of character ur MIL is, is it something like "strong willed, demanding, aggressive, self centered, exceeds authority" etc ... cannot take NO for an answer ...

all u need to is and learn how to handle it ... something like conflict management

nolem,
BTW, do u stay with ur MIL?
 

powder

Active Member
my fren has 2 kids born in same year...

and besides, get to the bottom of it and do what? go "awwww, no wonder u dun treat him as well"

on the same accord, u can adopt a kid and treat the kid better than your own... so the base for suspicion is not very valid.
 

nolem

New Member
i think i'm causing some distress to the rest of u... I dun know why am i resotring to these measures.... I know i m not being rational perhaps...

There is nothing more i could do to let her out of my marriage and stop creating trouble or instigating my marriage to break. I think the best way out is to get a divorce before she does
 

bobochacha

New Member
ya Blissful..each family has their own problems..

but her temper was so bad until tat my sis is willingly to married off at a young age just to moved out from her eh..

she also keeps shouting to my bro..she also keeps saying i am ur mother..hw can i be wrong..i eat salt more then u all do..hahaah

can u imagine her temper was so scary that i can throw the remote controller and ask her to shut up..although i felt bad later coz she still cook 4 me..

but nw her temper ok already..coz we all married and grew up..then she also dont dare to shout at my bro coz his wife also bad temper!! faint..poor bro..
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
chris, yah... traditional families normally favor boys. But I guess every family has a unique story. Nolem's case is probably quite different.

Nolem,

bullying continues when the victim allows and encourage it. I don't really think you can really do anything much about his family. He has to do it. And if he doesn't protect you, then you gotta protect yourself. He is the one that is letting his mum run over his life and take control of your marriage. Figure that out.

The key is really how your husband is handling it. You are right that the only way to get her out of your life is probably to divorce your husband. Maybe, he will finally wake up and realize how serious it is. Either way, it will end your misery.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Create a problem to resolve another problem? Think harder please.

Frankly, given your husband's personality, I don't think he could stand up against anyone? By proving that he is not from his mother, you may only make him more miserable and unhappy.
 

mootie

New Member
yep, perhaps u r right about getting a divorce since u r not thinking rationally anymore due to this MIL.

if that's the case, then maybe u wanna break-free from it. but if it's not, and the main issue lies with ur husband, then pls speak some sense into him else choose the way u desire.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Why is it a waste? Its acutally, not the MIL but the partner. Nolem husband priority mismatch hers and she is suffering all these. What is a waste is all her time trying to endure all the crap without the support of her husband.
 

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