Being unfaithful to spouse

[turbocharged]

Have not been a good person lately, just got married but got involved with another lady.

Now that my wife's pregnant, it makes it even harder for me to tell her the truth. I feel that I ought to be honest with her and if she understands, she will forgive me, however it she doesn't that I'll understand her feelings.

Should I be telling her? She is about to give birth soon and I do not want to agitate her.

 

[beegeok]

Do u love ur wife?
If so, why did u get involved with another lady?
If not, why did u married ur wife?

I do not know how to answer ur qns...
I cannot stand a guy who is unfaitful. Sorry...
hope the others will help u.

 

[suesue]

Mrs C, give advice rather den arrowing him.
Who in this world like to noe her HB hav affairs.
The 1 i noe is Alexis if m not wrong..kekeke..

back to the topic...
This kinda issue always arise aft marriage.
cos the prick get bored wif the hum, then find outside hum cos challenging mah.. need to use bait to fish the hum mah.. suddenly old hum carryin baby hum den the prick got jammed n still wanna carry xtra hum... sigh...

report says women r doubling the men now, so he got xcuses to say later on..

Hey Mr DT, keep away from her for a nite a c wat u missing. PITA !!!

 

[xiaobai_et]

i suppose only u have the ans. it's difficult for ppl to advise you cos only u know ur wife well enough.

if it's my own hubby, i would prefer him not to tell me now and even later, never to let me know cos he should end the relationship with the scandle immediately. this may seems to be cheating oneself in the eyes of others, but for me.. it's always gd not too know everything.

hopefully u r a gd boy by now!

 

[turbocharged]

She keeps contacting me via email and sms, I am afraid my wife will suspect sooner or later, her pregnancy was also not planned. I feel like I have let her down.

I really feel like telling her the truth but I am afraid the truth hurts. She is due next month.

I still meet the other lady for meals and movies. She still tells me how much she has enjoyed our time together..I feel I have thrusted myself into marriage because of my wife's pregnancy, I feel so regretful yet guilty towards her.

What should I do- to tell or just to keep quiet?

 

[secretlife]

you are married so my advise to you will be to do three things.

1. stop seeing theother woman immediately.

2. dont tell ur wife. hope she will never know. what she dont know will not hurt her.

3. be good for the rest of your life.

 

[hoitytoity]

i've thought of it before and i have told my FH that if he was ever unfaithful, please go and see a doc to get tested for HIV and any other STDs. but that's cos' i am a very practical person. i do not want to catch anything from him and suffer for his mistake.

 

[qingzi]

Personally, no matter how much it hurts or kills me, I would still rather know. Because I cannot live through a lie. What is the use of a 'good' and 'happy' life when it is all act?

You say that "I feel I have thrusted myself into marriage because of my wife's pregnancy"...i think you have to really ask yourself the REAL reason why you want to stay married to her. Don't stay on out of obligation. It may seem horrible, but if you stay on only out of obligation or love of your child, everyone will suffer in future, consciously or subconsciously, because there will always be a quiet resentment. If...and ONLY IF you think you really love the other woman, you have to be honest with yourself and everyone else. Not all women may agree on this, but to me if you don't love me for the right reasons, even if you are my husband, you are still not doing justice to me. I would rather you be honest and pursue what you really want.

That being said, if you deeply feel that the love of your life is still your wife...her pregnancy definitely makes it difficult to tell the truth. I can't say for sure which is better, to tell now or later. But if you do not wish to aggravate her, and want to tell her only after she gives birth (although this is tricky also cos many women get post-natal blues), you should stop seeing that woman right now. Doesn't mean jus cos you haven't told your wife you can continue seeing that woman, even if it is just for meals or movies. Plus at that point in time, although your wife will be devastated, you can at least tell her that "I had stopped seeing her COMPLETELY since one month ago". I guess it will also be a test to see if you can really restrain yourself from now till your wife gives birth.

Neither is it a time to feel regretful towards the other woman. You have no obligations towards her. She did not swear under the institution of marriage with you. The person you are responsible towards is the one at home carrying your flesh and blood.

If you really love your wife, cut off all connections with that woman (after your wife knows it will continue to hurt her if you meet that woman even if there is nothing going on), AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE proving to your wife that you are a worthy husband. You made a promise to her.

 

[september]

wat is ur purpose of telling ur wife? to ease ur gulit? then beside telling her the truth, wat do u expect or will do? tat is r u willing to gif up ur wife and child and be wif TOW or r u gng to hv a clean break wif TOW and be wif ur wife for life?

pls do noe wat u intend to do first before telling her. dun tell her liao then tell her u cant decide who to be wif or tell her to gif u tim to settle wif TOW. settle first or hv a decision on wat to do first before ur confession.

 

[qingzi]

I think Diana is absolutely right.

 

[sharene]

stumbled upon this...

i agree with diana too..

hOPE DT has been a gd boy lately..but if my FH is like you, i wld jus divorce & raise the kid up myself.

 

[koonie]

why made more pp suffered for yr doing..better keep the secret forever..

 

[lovingyou]

Hope the matter has been settled?

 

[nora]

Ya hope everything is fine

 

[yesno333]

Just keep the secret lover....n hide it from your wife...have the best of both world...

 

[carlislesg]

Tell her when she already delivers the baby, she has all the right to know.. I feel so sorry for her for marrying such an unfaithful and untrustworthy guy.

 

[raneejuanjuan]

Totally agree with Diana...Btw, you are a piece of SHIT!!!! What did your wife done to deserve all this, not only you are not wise, you are totally shallow man! I cannot side with anyone who betrayed ur partner and in the ist place why do you wana get married. you better get a life and stop being a bastard! totally no respect for u moron,