Anyone currently attached/married to a SAF regular?

sylvaz

New Member
My bf is currently a SAF regular. Been together for 6 months plus, so far I have been able to cope with his inflexible working hours. He gotta go out for outfield trainings for as long as 5 days. Weekends will be burnt out most of the time. During the times when he stays in camp doing office work or internal training, his earliest knock off time will be 9pm. Luckily he didn't got assigned for overseas training (3 weeks) for now.

Sometimes I will ask myself, when we get married, will I be able to cope with the loneliness at night when he goes for outfield training? Or what if he's assigned for overseas training for 3 weeks? Will I be able to take it? It's quite eerie for me to stay home alone at night...

Anyone's bf/hubby posted to work outside Singapore for a year, or even more than that? Do you follow him or stay in Singapore?

Though I am coping well now, I still feel that it's very tiring to be a SAF regular's gf/wife... Alot of sacrifices to be made... Have to choose between your job and your hubby if he's posted outside Singapore...

Quite worried that I cannot take it when the time comes...

Do you ladies having the same thoughts as mine? Can share? Especially married ones... How do you cope? Hope to get some advice here. Thanks!
happy.gif
 


winter27

Member
hihi...

my FH is a regular...currently he is posted oversea for 2yrs...it's almost 1 n 1/2yr since he's away and we'r doing well and planning to ROM end of this yr when he's back...

Initially it's hard n lonely...bt subsequently u'll get use to it and u'll live ur own live...tt's wat i did and for me i'll try to fly over once every 3 or 4mth to see him n for holiday...coz he can oni cum bck every 6 mth...

but actually if ur married, tt even better coz u'll be able to go oversea with him and govt will pay everything for u...y not right so u wun nid to stay hm alone...

well, be prepared is the advice for u...coz u b noe that he is bound to be posted oversea so be mentally prepared when the time comes...
 

sylvaz

New Member
Hi Winter,

wow it must be very tough for you.. I don't have that kind of courage..

we're planning to ROM this year too.. lucky for me.. at least I can go with him the next time he posted overseas.. but also depends.. if got children, and my current pay is higher than the amount government's paying, I might choose to stay..

I posted this thread is because my bf told me he was almost posted overseas. After he said that I got quite sad and worried.. lots of questions came into my mind. So I decided to share my thoughts here..

By the way Winter, when is your actual solemnization date? We decided to ROM in this coming October.. but he hasn't propose yet =/ Lol..
 

matka

Member
Hi ladies, as spouses of SAF regulars, I believe you have to be prepared for anything that will come up. This includes overseas postings, trainings, exercises and even the possibility of war. Some of the places that they'll go to are safe and easy and you can tag along if they're posted for a year. Some will have a certain amount of risk and you probably will not be able to tag along at all.

So before you take the plunge, do go through these mental thoughts before you regret and say, "Too late, no choice."
happy.gif
 

starmed

New Member
Hi sylvaz
whether or not u can tag along wif him, it'll depends on where's he's going n for how long. Think there's some certain criterias to fulfill bef a wife can tag along.... like what matka says...bef u take the plunge..please have some mental prep abt these stuffs.

I've got a fren who just hada bb n when the bb is abt 4 mths only, he has to be posted overseas for a 2 mths detachment n both my fren n her bb can't follow.... n she has to manage everything by herself. So u have to have some mental prep for such things to happen. I myself is also married to a SAF regular n was one myself bef I quitted to look after my kid. We been married for almost 4 years liao...it takes alot of understanding on our part...I know it's not easy but if u really love him, it's just somethings we can do for him right? Love is not talking abt u or him making scarifices... or who makes the most... it's abt making n sustaining the love bet u both can last. Also getting to know his fellow colleagues' wives/gfs... can be a good way to keep yourself occupied when he's away... =)
 

raintan

New Member
Hi gals,

Just wanna share my feelings with you gals here. My husband is also from SAF & he was posted to overseas for 2 yrs. He will be back end Dec 08. Its really not easy to maintain a long distance relationship indeed. But it really depends on both parties trust.
 

winter27

Member
Hi sylvaz (sylvaz)

Yes it's tough to be alone...bt we'r alr tog for 7yr...so we haf really gone thru mani ups n downs so maybe tt's hw i manage to survive...keke

well if ur bf is really gg to be posted oversea and ur not going, my advice is to have trust in him, it's hard but let mi tell u something, let his action proof tings to you. Tt's wat i told my FH. I tell him say no use, actions speaks louder than word and if u keep "hu si luan xiang" it will will make the r/s turns sour. So tell urself, let tis be a test for both of you. Eventually time will pass very fast one...dun worry too much now.

Hee...my FH just proposed during our 7yr anniversary earlier this month, initially plan to ROM on 080808 bt the date clashes with our zodiac so in the end we will postpone till he rtn from his oversea posting end of this yr. So mst prob will be in Jan 09 or Feb 09.

So in the meantime is to do research lor...be prepared early is alwayz the best =)
 

sylvaz

New Member
Hi ladies,

Sorry for the late reply. To those ladies who're married to SAF regulars, may I know how do you all cope with the loneliness at night? Normally they work until quite late at night... So how do you all spend the evenings? Visit your parents and have dinner there while waiting for your hubbies to finish their work? Or you all don't mind staying at home alone... I mean for those who just got married and haven't had children yet...

I am very afraid of staying at home alone de... Will let my imagination run wild... Scared of ghosts lar... Scared of burglars etc... :/
 

muddpie

New Member
Its really a matter of getting used to it...if u r afraid to stay home alone, probably move to ur mum's plc when he is away...
take up some hobbies or exercise, go out with friends, surfing net etc...there are so much to do to prevent u from being lonely when ur hb is not ard at nite...
 

piggymania

New Member
sylvaz,

my HB is from SAF as well we been married for almost 3yrs.. during this period he got to go for oversea training v offen at least twice a yr n each time for a period of at least 3wk.. recently he went for another training for 5wk...

i tink it really depend on how the both of u maintain the relationship n ur personality..

for me i am quite independence i can go shopping, watch movie on my own.. during wkday after a day working all i wan is go home have a gd rest n complete some chores where got time to think how to spent the night? on wkend i would find my friends for gathering.. or find some other activities.. on my HB side he make an efford to call me almost everyday to show me concern...

like what muddpie say, if u r afraid of being alone u can alway move back to ur parent house.
 

vallous

New Member
wow hi sylvaz,

perhaps this thread is dead. My hubby is also a SAF regular. We know each other for 5 yrs and been ROM for 3 mths. AD is in Jan 09. Currently my hubby is away for 5 weeks. He stays overseas more often than in SG. We often joke he treats singapore like his second home.

Yes I am STILL not used to it. Frankly you can never get used to it. Even to know., my face wil turn black when he says he need to go overseas or go running for marathons, go do projects come home late at 12 midnite, waste ur foods..drink at mess till get soo drunk he cannot recognise you.

During the time he isnt ard, I will just go back to my parents and stay with them. So far my hubby will contact me daily.

Welcome to the Club gal...be prepared for more tough days ahead.
 

septh

New Member
"drink at mess till get soo drunk he cannot recognise you."

I think this has nothing to do with being a regular or not, it's more like self discipline.
 

idealone

Member
Depends on how much you trust your hubby or bf...

Anyway married personals can stay home at night. Also army is 5 days week liao. sat and sun usually stay home de.
 

sylvaz

New Member
Wow.. that time i posted this thread nobody seems to be interested so i stopped tracking it already
happy.gif


My fiance posted to training institute at the end of june this year. So not so bad. Got more free time than his previous camp. He went for 8 days in-camp training last monday and will be coming back tomorrow! ^_^

Once in a while and short days training is not so bad for me. But if it's so often like once every 2 months + 3 weeks each time that kind, i will reconsider about getting married. I am a paranoid person by nature who needs alot of attention and time from hubby so i dun think i have the courage to face issues alone.

I will feel very pai seh if i keep going back to parents place and stay. You know... like married out already, got own house to stay but dun want to stay keep going back to "niang jia"... some parents (bride's side) dun like it as they're afraid the relatives will gossip... also afraid my parents will rent the rooms out in the future...
sad.gif


My gf's hubby also a regular... and she's like reaching her limit liao... she's thinking of divorcing her hubby... sigh
 

sylvaz

New Member
Red Sky,

Actually not really that much... twice per year, each time 3 weeks. He's also quite busy in sg. Sometimes 5 or 7 days outfield training. She always tell me got hubby like no hubby, everyday go home face the walls. She'll go back to her parents place and cry to them when her hubby is not around...
 

idealone

Member
it's only a few months each time. wats so difficult about that? your friend is too clingly i think. regular earns more as they advance up in rank. A man should provide for his family so he needs to work.

As your friend, do she wants a guy who is poor and can't provide for her but 100% time for her or she wans a guy who can provide for her? Sometime somethings have to trade off.
 

ene

New Member
I am not married to an SAF regular but personally, I feel that even when one is married, each person needs to have his/her own circle of friends. This means that you do not end up being dependent on your partner to always do things together. Of course, in a r/ship, one needs to spend time together. However, in situations where your partner is away (i.e. business trip, training, etc), you'd have to find your own program/activities to do. I'm not saying you need to run out and start wild partying but a quiet dinner with friends? A walk at the park? A movie with a good friend?

Of course, I'm not saying that you must go out everyday. Am sure it is nice to be alone at home, alone. Personally, I enjoy a hot cup of tea and a good book. I can spend hours alone at home when my fiance is out/busy. The home shouldn't become a prison. If you get bored, go out and take a walk!
 
Sylvaz,
I think she married the guy, expecting him to change? Doesn't she already see and know about the working hours of the guy before the marriage?
 

sylvaz

New Member
Roger Low,
Think it's not that she's clingly, perhaps after few years of marriage she realised this is not what she wants. She dun mind her hubby doesn't earn alot (around $2k++/month is enough for her) as long as her hubby got time for her (e.g. everyday go home for dinner, spend time together during weekends), she's contented.

ene,
She doesn't have alot of friends and they might not have time for her when her hubby is away. The only way is to move back to her parents place until her hubby is back.

As SAF officers' wives, not only we will feel lonely, we will also constantly worrying about their safety. Sometimes we're not allowed to contact them at all for the whole week during training. It's not easy...
 

sylvaz

New Member
green,
Before marriage she thought as long as they both love each other everything will be ok. Initially she's coping well. Going out with friends, parents etc. It's only recently she feels drained out.
 

sylvaz

New Member
green,
Yup. Was so worried for her, as well as for myself. But I think I can cope better cos I am slightly more independent than her
happy.gif


I know she's trying her best to accomodate by looking for full time jobs to occupy time, but she quitted sch when she was in sec 2 so it's difficult for her to look for a job. Even she got a job she always kena bullied cos of her qualification.

Recently she found a job through an agency as customer service officer in Sony Ericsson. Now she's busier than her hubby, no time to complain! Lol
 
Sylvaz,
It's good to hear that.
happy.gif
Besides working full-time, your friend can take up part-time courses to upgrade her qualifications. There are so much things she can do loh to occupy herself.

Actually as women, I believe in being financially independent ourselves. If anything bad happens in marriage, we still can feed ourselves and our kids.
 

ene

New Member
I agree with green. There are indeed a lot of things one can do to occupy oneself. And yes, doing the part-time course is a good way to occupy time as well as boost her self-esteem.

AND YES!! Even if one is married, it is important to be financially independent. Even if one is earning little, at least there is income. I cannot imagine having to depend on my husband for allowance. What if something happens and the husband leaves u? Then what?

Also, I notice that if one is not working (whether full time or part time), one tends to spend a lot of time thinking and being bored. It is thus important to go and find something useful to do...
 

red_sky

Member
Hmm, then what about situations where you husband is posted outfield for 1/2 years or more? And it is only natural for the wife to follow, and when she does she'd be a housewife and thus not financially independant already
 

krispy

Member
Sigh.. I'm in a situation where baby is only 3 months, I'm working and hubby in SAF and super busy. Sometimes I feel that it's like being a single parent. I work hard all day, and I come home having to take care of bb all by myself again. Even when he comes back, it's past 10pm and by then, he's so tired that he baulks at helping to take care of bb at night. Bb is still waking up every 3-4 hours for feeds and so far, it's been mainly me who's been attending to her. I haven't been sleeping much this past week and I think I'm going crazy with work, taking care of baby as well as doing the household chores. Sometimes I just want to ask him to marry his commander instead.

I'm fine being alone most of the time. I'm independent and I don't need his company to feel loved. But, the govt is encouraging more babies, but the workload in SAF is increasing with more SAF personnel leaving the force. I love children and was thinking of having at least 3, but now, I think 1 may be enough cos I can't cope and even my job is affected. I'm too sleepy at work to do it well. It's not like he's earning more than me as well. We're both earning about the same as I'm a professional.

I'm not comfortable with the idea of a maid cos I believe that we as parents made the decision to bring baby into this world, so we as parents should take full responsibility to spend time with baby and bring her up in the right way. I'm traditional in that sense. Having a SAF hubby is like not having a hubby at all. Sometimes I think baby and I are better off w/out him cos I'd only get frustrated when he says he'll be home at 7pm with dinner for me and ends up, he comes home at 1030pm and I go w/out eating for the night. Sigh.. I wish the govt would do something about the work life balance of its people as well rather than just focusing on monetary benefits.
 

ene

New Member
KrispyKreme - Oh dear, that sounds like a sad situation. Ask you something: Does your husband show care and concern when he comes back late at night, even though he's dead tired? As in, does he ask how are you, how is the baby, look at the baby, etc? Or does he head straight to bed?

Would you feel better if he at least showed concern even if he doesn't help out physically?

I'm sure it's really hard on you girl. Take care!
 

krispy

Member
Hi ene,

Yes, my husband shows a lot of care and concern when he's back. He's also very apologetic so in a way, I don't want to blame him. But, day after day of this and I get disillusioned that things will ever change. He tried leaving early but his colleagues will talk behind his back and his superiors will question his commitment to his work / project. The thing is, 1 project may end, but another begins as soon as the first is over. Or worst yet, the projects overlap due to lack of manpower. Then, he's supposed to juggle his time and run from camp to camp to try and make it for all his meetings. He ends up clearing his emails till late at night cos the next day is another full day of running around.

So, although I am grateful he cares so much for baby and myself, I find it hard to accept that I'm going to be a single parent for the next 10-15 years. I really want more kids... but how?? Ask him to quit? We've really been contemplating that but his degree is no longer relevant so he'll take a huge pay cut. With that, I don't think we'd be able to afford more kids as well. We've even been thinking of migrating to Australia once he retires from army cos we don't want to continue working like mad to earn a decent living in Singapore. Everyone here works till late at night with no time to spend with family and if you don't follow, you're criticized. At least in Australia, ppl go home once their working time is up. I'm just looking for a more healthy work life balance.
 

blueberrytea

New Member
I didn't marry a SAF regular, but have dated SAF regular before. (used to like uniform guys. But eventually find them tooo harsh and indifferent for my cup of tea)

I would say, what they taught me - to be tough tough tough in character. To be harsh harsh harsh in dealing with lots of things.

But, I have seen very caring SAF regulars too.

To cut the story short, I believe there's always the need to set priority right.
If the priority is the family, then, taking a pay cut and go to another job where more time can be given to the family is a sacrifice one must make.

I would say - in Singapore, not just SAF regulars alone are working that long hours.
Lots of people are working long hours, feeling mentally drained and stressed out, burnt out.

Eventually, Singapore will go the same way as Japan - people die from overworking.
 
KrispyKreme,
If you are not comfortable with a maid, how about engaging a part-time cleaner to come over on weekend to do the housechores? U pay her about $40+ for 4 hours. Yes it's very tough to juggle between a full-time job and a baby.

Every country has its pros and cons. In Australia, u will find it harder to get promoted in the job as they give priority to their locals.
 
Real_sotong,
"I would say - in Singapore, not just SAF regulars alone are working that long hours.
Lots of people are working long hours, feeling mentally drained and stressed out, burnt out. "

I agree with you.
 

krispy

Member
Green,

Yup. That's what we intend to do. But the real problem is not about the amount of work, it's really about the quality time we have together as a family. Oh well.. there's nothing I can do about it, especially here in Singapore where even the govt thinks we should work harder to be more competitive. I'll just start planning our migration. Hopefully as soon as possible.
 

powder

Active Member
Krispy,

i hope u realise tat it's not a good idea to dump the emotional baggage on the govt... Alot of choices we make are already With the Knowledge of where we were born, our country's Strengths/Weaknesses, Our own strength/weaknesses... We have a choice from the day we left school, and we've made those choices.

i dun particularly enjoy speaking up for the govt, but Where i'm coming from is this - If we dun take responsibilities for ourselves and look for 3rd parties to dump our emotional baggage on, longterm - we suffer and there's nothing we can do to reverse it.

your hubby is in one of the most difficult positions, But i can be honest in telling u that so is many many other frens i have who have signed-on earlier in life. But Honestly, most who signed on at 17, 18, 19 or even 21 - Should have already known at the back of their minds that they have to start a 2nd career once their military one ends...

and that's always been a struggle. it's definitely not gonna be easy for u as a wife and new mother, but this is where the two of u have gotta hold hands and believe in going thru the tough stages together. it's not always gonna remain tough, it's scary becos it's something that is new and change might be required.

Change is not necessarily a bad thing, it's a scary thing for sure, but New things will emerge. whether in oz or to continue in spore... from what i'm figuring from your posts - i think your hubby will take 2-3yrs to get back to the same level of income If he puts in the same amount of time he puts as a regular... personally i feel tat it's easier to get recognition for hard work and dedication in the pvt sectors, than in civil service.

so if u get into another discussion, do consider leaving and starting with a paycut First. dun hold on to security just cos it can last for another 5-10yrs. u Have Each Other, u have a Baby to motivate the two of u... u have a family that's worth sacrificing and going thru obstacles for... this is the period that might be the most meaningful for u in life when u look back.

Have Faith...
 

sylvaz

New Member
Hi Krispy,
I totally understand how you feel. That's what I am most afraid of in the future. Before marriage, we focus on work only. After marriage, we have to work and take care of the baby, do housework, while the husband continue on his job. Not much difference for him. Alot of adjustment for us.

It's true that civilians are working for long hours, but SAF jobs are more restrictive than civilian jobs. Once posted to overseas, that's it. For civilian jobs at least can negotiate with boss like requesting for replacement to take over your job.

I dun want to feel that I am the only one contributing to my family and my husband only thinks of work when my kids have grown up.
 

sunshinepeach

New Member
powder>> U sound like u are in the force too? :p I totally agree with what u said.

My hubby was an ex-regular at the airforce. After his 10 yrs of service, he decided not to carry on and ORD last year. Of cse, he started to get very worried. 10 years in the air force, with no relevant working experience.. and at the age of 30. How ah? But things worked out well for him after his ORD. And his working hours are now even more irregular than when he was in Air force. Haa..

I guess what you get from the SAF during peace time is a regular, stable pay. When the private sector is having crisis, I think they will still get at least a 1 mth year end bonus. Of cse, there are pros and cons in everything...

Real_Sotong>> I was also like u.. like military guys a lot.. :p dream of those military weddings.. those Zoe Tay kind of weddings.. Hehee.. Dated an army officer b4 but things didnt work out. But what I salutezz him is.. he ever told me, "what makes me a soldier if i have not even step into a battlefield".. Haa.. Think no regulars actually are so committed and to have such thinking anymore.
 

kessie

New Member
My Fiancé was assigned to attend courses and work overseas almost 1-2 times every year. Each trip can lasts up to 1 month – 7 months. After he left for his trip, I will feel lonely as I have to adapt myself to an independent life, and I need to learn to take care of myself. Sometimes, he got to work late or work in the mid night during the weekdays, and sometimes on the weekend. Even if I don’t like his inflexible working hours, i don think I would discourage him from renewing his contract or blame him for his job.
If he were to quit his job, I don think he can even sustain in the private sector. He will definitely take a longer time to climb up the corporate ladder, due to the lack of experience. After all, he will have to start all over again from the entry/junior level when he is at the age of 30 years old?? Imagine he is earning 2k at the age of 30 years old if he start at the entry level in the private sector?? I don think it is sufficient esp when the cost of living are rising.

But the bad thing about this can be.. when they reach 45-50 yrs old, SAF decided to terminate their contract for their retirement.. then what is he going to do for the next 10 years or so before retirement CPF is released? Then it will means that their wives are going to support them and the children, unless they have lots of savings to set aside for their child’s tertiary education and for retirement.

On the other hand, I am more concern with him, who request to stay back in camp for 3 nights during the weekdays after wedding, as he said that he can wake up later and also save the trip to travel in the morning especially when there are massive traffic jams. It might be more convenient for him, but then I have worries, worrying whether he will be keeping mistress outside.. hah
 

japanese_doll

New Member
Hi Kessie,
don't worry too much when he stays back in camp. I have a close male friend who is also a SAF regular. As work can be very tiring and exhausting, sometimes they are too tired that they prefer to stay back in camp rather then drive all the way back home after work and then drive all the way to camp again in the morning to work.

Understanding and trusting your other half, being independent and expecting last min changes are very important for wives/gfs of SAF regulars. As their work is so tough (their job is not a 9 to 5, sit in the aircon office kind), this is the best we can do for them.

my SAF regular friend is in his late 30s, and he has already started planning what to do when he retires from SAF. He has taken part time degree courses, to open another possible career path for him.
 

powder

Active Member
hi sunshine,

nope me not in the forces, but alot of my peers at that time did take up the offer, those in army went thru the tough phase of uncertainty... next will be my pilot-buddies facing it, but generally they will be ok given the commercial need for pilots. my brother went thru it too when he left navy in mid-30s, and he semi-retired liao at 45. in my circle, most are actually doing much much better after the initial struggle in the 2-3yrs... main thing is - dun lose hope, dun give up.

career changes are never easy. yday i interviewed a few pple who are leaving well-paid jobs with good prospects who are seeking to start all over in my industry, most came mentally prepared for 30-60% paycuts to start... established accountants and banking pple, one applicant is on a 5-fig salary so it's almost a 80% paycut... and listening to the reasons, i would say they have a Purpose and a Vision and not afraid to chase them. i'm convinced most regulars would have this Toughness abt them and would not take long to start over and get their footing in the ground if they put their minds to it, in fact i think they are likely to have better perseverance and stamina IF they face up the initial fears of starting over.

anyway these my personal views and i really see a brighter future After the initial first step.
 

sylvaz

New Member
Retired SAF officers can try looking for civilian jobs which are related to army. I've heard a retired air force officer working as Project Manager doing projects related to air force in an engineering company. Not very sure about his pay but I heard it's around +/- $4000.
 

japanese_doll

New Member
agree strongly with sylvaz. the areas retired SAF officers can contribute include knowledge management, IT, strategic planning and management. they can find jobs in such areas in the civilian sector.
 

sylvaz

New Member
Yup. I dun think the paycut will be that much cos the job requires experience. $4000 considered more than enough. Still got hope for retired SAF officers ba. Haha.
 

japanese_doll

New Member
but there is one thing retired SAF officers must take note. In the army, the working culture is totally different from the organisational and corporate culture in the civilian sector. communication skills, interpersonal skills are one area that retired SAF officers must take note of when taking on civilian jobs.
 

sylvaz

New Member
Not worrying about how's he going to survive when he has retired, I'm more worried about how am I going to cope with my baby when my husband is not around most of the time, like Krispy's case. It's demoralising.
 

japanese_doll

New Member
Hi sylvaz,
though I can't offer a solution, hope u'll feel better after reading what I've said. As a SAF regular's wife/gf, most important is to be mentally strong. You have to be independent and trust him. That is very important. Since you've decided to take a SAF regular as your husband, you will have to be mentally prepared for the tough journey ahead. That said, it does not mean that you will have to sit around and wait to suffer or worry that you can't cope when the time comes. You can start planning now to come up with solutions for any problems that may arise after marraige. Foresee the problems, and sit down with your husband to discuss the problems that you have listed above, and come up with a solution.

For instance, when he goes for outfield training, tell him that you will be scared or lonely at home,and what he plans to do about it. Ask him if you can call him hourly, or he prefers once a day? And, do u go back to your mum's place to stay temporarily, or will he allow (let's say u have a sibling) your siblings to come over to your house, spend the night there, to keep you company.

when you marry a man, you marry his career and even his family. I understand that it is not easy, but do not let all these problems get you down. with communication and understanding between both parties, and with love, I believe things can work out.

good luck.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
"For instance, when he goes for outfield training, tell him that you will be scared or lonely at home,and what he plans to do about it. Ask him if you can call him hourly, or he prefers once a day? And, do u go back to your mum's place to stay temporarily, or will he allow (let's say u have a sibling) your siblings to come over to your house, spend the night there, to keep you company."

Jap Doll, why do you sound as if you have no life of your own? Do you work? Have friends?
 

japanese_doll

New Member
no lah, I am just offering advice to sylvaz on what to do if she feels lonely when her bf cope with her loneliness at night when he goes for outfield training.

I suggest you read my post again. I do wonder how you linked my advice to sylvaz to me having no life or friends? Maybe you could elaborate?

for myself, I'm still single, no bf or husband who is a SAF regular. just that I happen to have a close guy friend who is a SAF regular, so I know his work and lifestyle. and since some of our friends here need help with regards to having bfs/husbands who are SAF regulars, I thought of offering advice. not to worry, I have a life, I have friends and do work.
happy.gif
 



Top