Any guy can advice?
- Thread starter freeport
- Start date
'coz sashimi is always fresher. sweeter and fresher?' i also asked this before..
at the end of the day, regardless is man or woman, some like changes at certain stage, some prefer to stay unchange. I would says depending on oneself's 'ding li' bah.
faithful or not? promises or not, all doesn't exist when things happens, don you think so? whatever promises and memories that both given to each other, when things happens, are all fake and being trashed.
at the end of the day, regardless is man or woman, some like changes at certain stage, some prefer to stay unchange. I would says depending on oneself's 'ding li' bah.
faithful or not? promises or not, all doesn't exist when things happens, don you think so? whatever promises and memories that both given to each other, when things happens, are all fake and being trashed.
I'm thinking of giving him another chance but does he deserve it? Was wonder how come he do these to me? Always being faithful, gently, cooking, nicely for him.. but in the end he treat me this way. Maybe he already take advantage from me since long ago... Maybe i let go him it's better way..
well rachel.. whether he derseve or not, is not up to any1 comment. is you yourself. tons of tons of qustion marks on us, why why why can they do this to us? how come out of sudden they can changes so tremendously regardless how much ups and downs been through together? why they suddenly don see our good but smell better on others?
sometimes i do agree it takes 2 hands to clap, but then i wonder as u, why arent they clapping after so many years suddenly.
well.. if you can totally let him go, is a good way for you to move on. its ur call. but then, pain and sorrows for sure have. my friends told me, hate him will be better. maybe u can try hating.. makes u stronger somehow bah.
sometimes i do agree it takes 2 hands to clap, but then i wonder as u, why arent they clapping after so many years suddenly.
well.. if you can totally let him go, is a good way for you to move on. its ur call. but then, pain and sorrows for sure have. my friends told me, hate him will be better. maybe u can try hating.. makes u stronger somehow bah.
miloice
Well-Known Member
in any relationship, there is no such thing of deserve or not.
Our partners are with us not because we deserve it but because its a fulfilling and happy relationship to keep both motivated to cherish it.
Why do u assume being faithful, gentle and cooking for him will automatically make him faithful? Ask yourself, is he the faithful man with integrity in the 1st place? If no, then that's really a problem with your selection process.
But sometimes, apples get rotten too. Everyone have weakness. If its not possible to be happy in the relationship, then u really should cut your loses. No one can tell u what to do. You need to think over it. Its your life and happiness.
Our partners are with us not because we deserve it but because its a fulfilling and happy relationship to keep both motivated to cherish it.
Why do u assume being faithful, gentle and cooking for him will automatically make him faithful? Ask yourself, is he the faithful man with integrity in the 1st place? If no, then that's really a problem with your selection process.
But sometimes, apples get rotten too. Everyone have weakness. If its not possible to be happy in the relationship, then u really should cut your loses. No one can tell u what to do. You need to think over it. Its your life and happiness.
auntymic - I won't "use" hate on that person to make myself stronger... Hate reminds me of that person.. But why?? Didn't I want to forget about him and continue my life?? Juz move on and out from this "hurtful" r/s...
U will get stronger.. Juz change your mindset and attitute towards this....
U will get stronger.. Juz change your mindset and attitute towards this....
Milo,
I admit myself being problem for select him.But i never regret for what i done for him & nvr ever request for return.i'm only wonder why from the begining he done these to me..
never regret or blame him for what he done to me.. just blame myself nvr open my eye big enough.
I admit myself being problem for select him.But i never regret for what i done for him & nvr ever request for return.i'm only wonder why from the begining he done these to me..
never regret or blame him for what he done to me.. just blame myself nvr open my eye big enough.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Rachel,
in life. Shit happens. Being nice and kind to people doesn't guarantee any rewards. Its the same with relationships. Keep the goodness you have for someone that appreciate and cherish it. If we don't cherish it, we will never bother to protect it.
Is it worth your time to analyze till the end of time for answers. Everyone's values and priorities are different. There is no way you can completely understand every decision taken. Your focus should be on your future.
i.e. How do you want to proceed?
Forgive him? But has he repented?
Rebuild the trust? But is he commited? And can u put it behind you?
Ask yourself these questions that serve to help u with your decision. Dwell not on the what if permutations that will never end.
in life. Shit happens. Being nice and kind to people doesn't guarantee any rewards. Its the same with relationships. Keep the goodness you have for someone that appreciate and cherish it. If we don't cherish it, we will never bother to protect it.
Is it worth your time to analyze till the end of time for answers. Everyone's values and priorities are different. There is no way you can completely understand every decision taken. Your focus should be on your future.
i.e. How do you want to proceed?
Forgive him? But has he repented?
Rebuild the trust? But is he commited? And can u put it behind you?
Ask yourself these questions that serve to help u with your decision. Dwell not on the what if permutations that will never end.
the more we do for others, the higher our expectations of them... (unless we Understand this point early)
i see some pple using the same method to get ahead in their career... they stay long hours, seem to have alot of work, work long number of years, stay loyal, stay super committed - to A COMPANY.
and u wonder why pple get disoriented when they are retrenched. employees who expect to keep their jobs by being model employees... WHY? always remember the quote of black cats and white cats... end of the day the cat Must be able to catch mice... else wat's the point of keeping cats tat are simple loyal and loving? pple wonder why their bosses/companies are heartless... in the first place, u choose the company to invest all your time and efforts in. and in the first place - u were Silly to think that loyalty/longservice are Important to a company. employees choose to think this way becos they are normally afraid of the unknown...
my point is simple. whilst u are thinking of staying or leaving, or giving another chance. What's more impt is - Will He give u a chance? will he be the husband u want him to be? will he love u as much? will he not cheat on u? will he be faithful?
i have been trying to get some of my frens to leave their employers for Damnnnnnn long liao... some are big companies/MNCs... but they wanna stay. Despite trying for years to go forward, and getting just a token increment and promotion, they still stay. wat can i say? it's Painful to see your peers/buddies struggling over season parking, erp and car instlaments at my age... it Should Not be an issue by now.
can u answer me? - do u think they are happy to stay or are they afraid to leave???
once u've found your answer to me, i believe u would have found the answer to yourself.
i see some pple using the same method to get ahead in their career... they stay long hours, seem to have alot of work, work long number of years, stay loyal, stay super committed - to A COMPANY.
and u wonder why pple get disoriented when they are retrenched. employees who expect to keep their jobs by being model employees... WHY? always remember the quote of black cats and white cats... end of the day the cat Must be able to catch mice... else wat's the point of keeping cats tat are simple loyal and loving? pple wonder why their bosses/companies are heartless... in the first place, u choose the company to invest all your time and efforts in. and in the first place - u were Silly to think that loyalty/longservice are Important to a company. employees choose to think this way becos they are normally afraid of the unknown...
my point is simple. whilst u are thinking of staying or leaving, or giving another chance. What's more impt is - Will He give u a chance? will he be the husband u want him to be? will he love u as much? will he not cheat on u? will he be faithful?
i have been trying to get some of my frens to leave their employers for Damnnnnnn long liao... some are big companies/MNCs... but they wanna stay. Despite trying for years to go forward, and getting just a token increment and promotion, they still stay. wat can i say? it's Painful to see your peers/buddies struggling over season parking, erp and car instlaments at my age... it Should Not be an issue by now.
can u answer me? - do u think they are happy to stay or are they afraid to leave???
once u've found your answer to me, i believe u would have found the answer to yourself.
shirleypoise
New Member
A lot of pple thinks that logically if we behave in a certain manner with our partners, we would be able to make the r/s last, that he/she would be faithful and treat us the way we want to be treated...
Hello.. welcome to the real world... where logic takes a hind step in a realistic world.
It's never about what you think you should do/behave in a r/s.. it's about matching yourself to what your partner needs in a r/s.
You may think that you are the best gf ever, but he does not necessary have to think that.. Becuz u are gentle, cooks, faithful doesn't mean that's what he needs in a wife/gf. He may jolly well be one of those guys who likes to hunt for his prey.. so if you (the prey) is always available such that there is nothing for him to hunt, then he would hunt elsewhere.
It does sound like you are ready to commit to this r/s but you certainly make it sound like he's not. It's not that you are not good enuf, he just want to carry on hunting for THE girl. So it's really your call if you r willing to stay put. Like Milo said, you've got to learn when to cut your losses.
You dun have to regret being a good gf to him.. it's his losses since he doesn't know how to appreciate you. At the very least you know that you have done all you can in this r/s.
Hello.. welcome to the real world... where logic takes a hind step in a realistic world.
It's never about what you think you should do/behave in a r/s.. it's about matching yourself to what your partner needs in a r/s.
You may think that you are the best gf ever, but he does not necessary have to think that.. Becuz u are gentle, cooks, faithful doesn't mean that's what he needs in a wife/gf. He may jolly well be one of those guys who likes to hunt for his prey.. so if you (the prey) is always available such that there is nothing for him to hunt, then he would hunt elsewhere.
It does sound like you are ready to commit to this r/s but you certainly make it sound like he's not. It's not that you are not good enuf, he just want to carry on hunting for THE girl. So it's really your call if you r willing to stay put. Like Milo said, you've got to learn when to cut your losses.
You dun have to regret being a good gf to him.. it's his losses since he doesn't know how to appreciate you. At the very least you know that you have done all you can in this r/s.
shirleypoise
New Member
have a good talk w him to understand why he is doing this n if he meant ur r/s to go anywhere.
Frankly speaking, to continue the relationship, it will take a lot of courage. I decide to forgive him but i can't forget. Feel shock & hurt when get to know from his best pal. Confront & have a good talk with him already. He seem nvr regret or guilty towards me. Try to communicate more with him was thought can work things out.But for what i saw his react to me is BOCHAP at all. Nt being respect to me nevermind, but throw temper to me.. No wonder all my frnd always said me "l‘P”íl‹\h As his wife, think i'm good enough for him. And now i decide to let go since i'm nt the one he treasure to.. Really nvr regret being with him for so many years, and got a lovely girl with me too.
Milo,
1.How do you want to proceed?
Believe you know what's the next i'm going to do for sure.
2.Forgive him?
Yes i do forgive him . But i choose to leave him as well.Don feel to waste my time.
3.But has he repented?
I'm doubts so.. cos he trying to ask me back for him & will change his attitude (cold-blooded). But when i asked him why he change? his ans is for my girl but nt me. This is show that his intention to save this family is for girl but nt me. Will nt waste my time to someone who no more feeling to me.
4.Rebuild the trust?
Don't think so. Can you imagine i can wait him here for the whole year during he posting oversea for work @ thai? But he done so many things behind me over thr for the whole year?
5.But is he commited?
Even yes he is. but it's for his child.
6.And can u put it behind you?
Sometimes, you do can forgive but can't forget..
1.How do you want to proceed?
Believe you know what's the next i'm going to do for sure.
2.Forgive him?
Yes i do forgive him . But i choose to leave him as well.Don feel to waste my time.
3.But has he repented?
I'm doubts so.. cos he trying to ask me back for him & will change his attitude (cold-blooded). But when i asked him why he change? his ans is for my girl but nt me. This is show that his intention to save this family is for girl but nt me. Will nt waste my time to someone who no more feeling to me.
4.Rebuild the trust?
Don't think so. Can you imagine i can wait him here for the whole year during he posting oversea for work @ thai? But he done so many things behind me over thr for the whole year?
5.But is he commited?
Even yes he is. but it's for his child.
6.And can u put it behind you?
Sometimes, you do can forgive but can't forget..
Rachel: how old is your gal? I agree, at times, we can forgive but it is a little harder to forget. I suppose the third party is a Thai? At times, we humans tend to take for granted of what was being granted to us, and thus, we missed out the most important persons in our lives. If the marriage is realli beyond any salvaging, it is always better to give up earlier to shorten the pain.
littlewoman,
My girl just 1 year old. I don know how may woman he outside thr. Just heard that he outside attached with thai girl during @ thai. Beside, during @ sing while being with me he also attached with someone.. well, during that period i was already suspect him but just nvr take action or chk on him.
My girl just 1 year old. I don know how may woman he outside thr. Just heard that he outside attached with thai girl during @ thai. Beside, during @ sing while being with me he also attached with someone.. well, during that period i was already suspect him but just nvr take action or chk on him.
crystal_cloud
New Member
rachel,
is he agreeable to part?
has he discussed with you: probably he will be staying with that thai girl?
if so i agree your part on moving out of pix..but if not, you might want to re-evaluate the priorities..and re-cultivate the lost love step by step..first of all to accept his stay on decision for your girl instead of you.
is he agreeable to part?
has he discussed with you: probably he will be staying with that thai girl?
if so i agree your part on moving out of pix..but if not, you might want to re-evaluate the priorities..and re-cultivate the lost love step by step..first of all to accept his stay on decision for your girl instead of you.
pink,
He have no other choice. He can't force me to go back to him again. I know it may hard for me to handle my child here. but i've to be strong for my girl also. That beast is nt deserve good life from me. Simply say here, i either blind or completely have no judgement last time. milo is right,that's really a problem with my selection process...
He have no other choice. He can't force me to go back to him again. I know it may hard for me to handle my child here. but i've to be strong for my girl also. That beast is nt deserve good life from me. Simply say here, i either blind or completely have no judgement last time. milo is right,that's really a problem with my selection process...
crystal_cloud
New Member
so your decision is made up?
u have decided 100% on leaving him?
if so, y are you asking your qn of why guy has fallen for another woman despite having a wife?
it seems to me you still dun bear to part?
how long has it been ever since your discovery of his act?
u have decided 100% on leaving him?
if so, y are you asking your qn of why guy has fallen for another woman despite having a wife?
it seems to me you still dun bear to part?
how long has it been ever since your discovery of his act?
crystal_cloud
New Member
think like wat powder has said earlier,
you done your part and over do your part as a good wife is all along your own decision to be..no one forces you to be overly good and kind towards your husband..
sad to say lah, not all but most of those good wives often got ditched by straying husbands..coz y? they are too good and kind n more often, boring..and less suductive and fun! since their time is mostly spend on kids, cooking etc , reminds them of their mom...
so when an attracive gal comes along..y not?
stop blaming yourself and asking y now..
there is no y..things happens for soooooo many reasons!!!
could be the girl is attractive? the girl is desperately clinging onto him? could be your husband is bored with sg life..work, home, acc wife, acc kid..etc..
there are tons of reasons..and most of them will only sadden u further!
you done your part and over do your part as a good wife is all along your own decision to be..no one forces you to be overly good and kind towards your husband..
sad to say lah, not all but most of those good wives often got ditched by straying husbands..coz y? they are too good and kind n more often, boring..and less suductive and fun! since their time is mostly spend on kids, cooking etc , reminds them of their mom...
so when an attracive gal comes along..y not?
stop blaming yourself and asking y now..
there is no y..things happens for soooooo many reasons!!!
could be the girl is attractive? the girl is desperately clinging onto him? could be your husband is bored with sg life..work, home, acc wife, acc kid..etc..
there are tons of reasons..and most of them will only sadden u further!
crystal_cloud
New Member
im sorry to hear your plight..im sure most women will be fearful to think that it might also happen to them.
but most crucial thing is to accept the situation lor. u felt short changed by being very nice to him all along..hence you keep asking why.
but from the way u reply i feel u are staying rather calm..
but most crucial thing is to accept the situation lor. u felt short changed by being very nice to him all along..hence you keep asking why.
but from the way u reply i feel u are staying rather calm..
sgbabydoll
Active Member
"i either blind or completely have no judgement last time. milo is right,that's really a problem with my selection process..."
People do change over time. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. There is a big difference between that and being honest with yourself or your situation. Take care.
People do change over time. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. There is a big difference between that and being honest with yourself or your situation. Take care.
ya dun be too sad abt it. but just to be totally honest here...
who do i woo? the daughter or the mother? obviously i woo the daughter rite?
what happens if i end up with a daughter that's Just like the mother whom i didn't wanna woo in the first place???
the guy chased u BEFORE u were a great cook, great housewife, great mother. Who told u that u NEED to learn to do these things???
for $10 an hour i get my house cleaned up by a part time cleaner. for $5 i get a plate of chicken rice with a drink. i dun understand women who think that being a good wife is via housework...
if i stayed a bachelor - i probably have a CLEANER/NEATER home. women think guys are messy or need to be taken care of... but actually before we had gfrens, all we have is 1 shampoo, 1 body foam, 1 toothbrush. After the girl comes we have 200 products cluttering all over room/toilet... 20 shoes, 30 pieces of clothings, hairdryer, mani pedi tiny stuff, storage boxes, soft toys etc etc...
seriously - THINK LOGICALLY. there's alot of things which are NOT true, yet pple seem to think it is true.
try staying in a company for 20yrs and see if they give u a golden handshake or pension. these things dun exists anymore... cooking, ironing, washing are Unnecessary things which pple think makes a good wife. it's so bloody traditional but irrelevant.
would u find me attractive if i turned from bfren to Your Father?
who do i woo? the daughter or the mother? obviously i woo the daughter rite?
what happens if i end up with a daughter that's Just like the mother whom i didn't wanna woo in the first place???
the guy chased u BEFORE u were a great cook, great housewife, great mother. Who told u that u NEED to learn to do these things???
for $10 an hour i get my house cleaned up by a part time cleaner. for $5 i get a plate of chicken rice with a drink. i dun understand women who think that being a good wife is via housework...
if i stayed a bachelor - i probably have a CLEANER/NEATER home. women think guys are messy or need to be taken care of... but actually before we had gfrens, all we have is 1 shampoo, 1 body foam, 1 toothbrush. After the girl comes we have 200 products cluttering all over room/toilet... 20 shoes, 30 pieces of clothings, hairdryer, mani pedi tiny stuff, storage boxes, soft toys etc etc...
seriously - THINK LOGICALLY. there's alot of things which are NOT true, yet pple seem to think it is true.
try staying in a company for 20yrs and see if they give u a golden handshake or pension. these things dun exists anymore... cooking, ironing, washing are Unnecessary things which pple think makes a good wife. it's so bloody traditional but irrelevant.
would u find me attractive if i turned from bfren to Your Father?
actually there are a few reasons:
- probably you did not make him feel that you are the best girl for him
- probably he does not love you that much after all
- most guys like to feel the thrill of "xian-ing another girl
- maybe you both are in a relationship for too long and the sparks are no longer there
I derive all these becos i had a same experience before and been thru these. (not convenient to elaborate here)
take care!
- probably you did not make him feel that you are the best girl for him
- probably he does not love you that much after all
- most guys like to feel the thrill of "xian-ing another girl
- maybe you both are in a relationship for too long and the sparks are no longer there
I derive all these becos i had a same experience before and been thru these. (not convenient to elaborate here)
take care!
crystal_cloud
New Member
to further enhance powder's post,
i would like to quote a very good example..i have a gf, who is happily remarried to someone earning quite alot around 8k per month and good looking husband (with a very good character of even loving her family as well while she is not well to do)..this guy accepted her with a 6 year old kid..she dun do housework, she only dolls up and stay pretty and they go out like a dating couple..she dun cook, she dun wash or do laundry for him..he does it instead..and to top it up, he even buy watever she wants..and she is quite temperamental whenever she makes her pt to any subject discussed. he always give in.
both are equally attractive on outlook..just that the guy have a good career while the girl is earning less than 2k..
there are tons of his ex gfs trying to grab him ( be as vituous as you etc... showing him by actions they can be a good wife by also doing the cooking, laundry, sweet, loving ,pretty) before he decided to get married..but he chose someone who most of my common frens called a vase..
she is neither virtuous as u rachel, nor as good in temper and high in tolerance level as you..
the guy willingly accepted her just like how u did for your husband..either way, both also got give up something to become the role of 'giver' instead of 'taker'
sad to say..this is life. but u got a choice to back out.
tangmusi
probably it only narrows down to one thing: most men but not all are visual animals..women after giving birth wil be more homely and attempt to be their definition of a wife who cooks and does housework..while it only bores a man.
my gf once reminded me when she saw me nagging at my guy to bathe "pls dun be his mother when u are only his gf!"
i would like to quote a very good example..i have a gf, who is happily remarried to someone earning quite alot around 8k per month and good looking husband (with a very good character of even loving her family as well while she is not well to do)..this guy accepted her with a 6 year old kid..she dun do housework, she only dolls up and stay pretty and they go out like a dating couple..she dun cook, she dun wash or do laundry for him..he does it instead..and to top it up, he even buy watever she wants..and she is quite temperamental whenever she makes her pt to any subject discussed. he always give in.
both are equally attractive on outlook..just that the guy have a good career while the girl is earning less than 2k..
there are tons of his ex gfs trying to grab him ( be as vituous as you etc... showing him by actions they can be a good wife by also doing the cooking, laundry, sweet, loving ,pretty) before he decided to get married..but he chose someone who most of my common frens called a vase..
she is neither virtuous as u rachel, nor as good in temper and high in tolerance level as you..
the guy willingly accepted her just like how u did for your husband..either way, both also got give up something to become the role of 'giver' instead of 'taker'
sad to say..this is life. but u got a choice to back out.
tangmusi
probably it only narrows down to one thing: most men but not all are visual animals..women after giving birth wil be more homely and attempt to be their definition of a wife who cooks and does housework..while it only bores a man.
my gf once reminded me when she saw me nagging at my guy to bathe "pls dun be his mother when u are only his gf!"
tat's actually quite true... there are guys in higher positions who just wanna marry a girl for the purpose of having a very impressive partner, whether in looks or eloquence or poise. there's love of cos!
guys do not go around feeling proud becos their wife cooks, irons, is a good mother etc etc... they feel proud becos their wife is someone they can be Produ to be with and seen with.
i have no idea why there are pple who keep telling me abt wives who are that typical wifey mould... honestly i think only MCP guys are most inclined to be with such girls...
i never wanted a wife who cooks becos that wastes ALOT of time, and it raises expectations for me to be home to eat, which i can't. Years of having my mum keep food for me and prepare my favourite dishes which eventually turn cold - has taught me that it is a virtue which i dun farking need. cooking is an emotional blackmail to me... my mum no longer cooks for me. my wife doesn't cook, but i cook instant noodles for her very occasionally..
i think it's better to have a wife who's Neat n Tidy, than one who's obsessed with cleanliness and cleaning. i would rather have a wife who sopends time exploring life, reading books and improving herself, than one who improves her cleaning/cooking.
lastly, let's bring it out in the open and say that we dun hold very high opinions of cleaners. in fact we treat them like servants at foodcourts n make them do extra work simply by being bochup and creating more mess... NOW - why do we think that turning into a household cleanr is very attractive???
courtship never started becos of such domestic skills... it started becos of physical attraction, and personality. such a simple logical thing and half the bloody population are getting it all wrong. it's 2009, not 1969.
guys do not go around feeling proud becos their wife cooks, irons, is a good mother etc etc... they feel proud becos their wife is someone they can be Produ to be with and seen with.
i have no idea why there are pple who keep telling me abt wives who are that typical wifey mould... honestly i think only MCP guys are most inclined to be with such girls...
i never wanted a wife who cooks becos that wastes ALOT of time, and it raises expectations for me to be home to eat, which i can't. Years of having my mum keep food for me and prepare my favourite dishes which eventually turn cold - has taught me that it is a virtue which i dun farking need. cooking is an emotional blackmail to me... my mum no longer cooks for me. my wife doesn't cook, but i cook instant noodles for her very occasionally..
i think it's better to have a wife who's Neat n Tidy, than one who's obsessed with cleanliness and cleaning. i would rather have a wife who sopends time exploring life, reading books and improving herself, than one who improves her cleaning/cooking.
lastly, let's bring it out in the open and say that we dun hold very high opinions of cleaners. in fact we treat them like servants at foodcourts n make them do extra work simply by being bochup and creating more mess... NOW - why do we think that turning into a household cleanr is very attractive???
courtship never started becos of such domestic skills... it started becos of physical attraction, and personality. such a simple logical thing and half the bloody population are getting it all wrong. it's 2009, not 1969.
green_tranquility
New Member
Pink_cloud,
I guess your guy friend isn't just attracted to her looks. He is probably also attracted to her "attitude" towards him. While the other gals go all out to please him, give in to him and stick onto him, your gal friend dares to challenge him and disagree with him. In a way, it makes your gal friend special among the gals around him
I guess your guy friend isn't just attracted to her looks. He is probably also attracted to her "attitude" towards him. While the other gals go all out to please him, give in to him and stick onto him, your gal friend dares to challenge him and disagree with him. In a way, it makes your gal friend special among the gals around him
I agree with all the replies. Heard from my guy friends that most of the guys hope to have the best of everything, that is of course including looks, figure etc in their wives. Rachel, people indeed do change over times or over the years. Some guys might mention that they dun mind their wives' figures going out of the way etc, but they will be tempted if another hot lady who comes along with seductive attitude / behaviour. Guys hope to have someone taking care of their house, their children etc, but they also hope to have someone whom are able to provide them with fresher and newer feelings etc each time. Thus, we have to move along with pace and improving ourselves. It is tiring but guys hope that we can do that, and in my opinion, I think it is vice versa, alot of times, we women hope to see that in our husbands as well. Whatever has happened in this forum is what we being women fear and we keeping our fingers crossed that it never happen to us, but mainintaining the sparks is never easy for a r/s, let alone for marriage. You mentioned that he has not been behaving even if he is in SG; this means that it is not the 1st time it happens and probably what you had found out will not be the last time as well. Do think and consider carefully.
crystal_cloud
New Member
POWDER hope my guy reads your post written at 3:02 am!!
he always tell me, he would love a girl who can cook.
i told him, i can cook on weekends, but not when it becomes a routine!! u work, i also work, y should i be the one cooking? it's tiring uknow! esp after work and u gota cut ingrediants..
i always tell him "by the time u da bao and digest the food i also haven finished cooking for us both lo"
i duno leh..everytime i cook , my ingrediants for that meal wil be more expensive than packed meal for us both. EG. i cook katsu don, i dun have mirin, i go buy, i dun have the curry powder, i go buy..i dun have bread crumbs i also go buy..end up, these left over ingrediants are stored in shelves..coz i dun cook for 2nd time in such a short period..
it's realli not practical!
i have a couple fren in 30s, they are both working, and they catered food from mom's kitchen..it's nice and dun even have to fight over who is gona wash dish..and both can relax on coach and watch TV..that's also quality time spent!
<font color="aa00aa">I LIKE THIS STATEMENT THE BEST!! it's 2009, not 1969</font> if you wan me to be a woman of 1969 who cooks, then u jolly well be the man from 1969 who provide 100% finance for house
he always tell me, he would love a girl who can cook.
i told him, i can cook on weekends, but not when it becomes a routine!! u work, i also work, y should i be the one cooking? it's tiring uknow! esp after work and u gota cut ingrediants..
i always tell him "by the time u da bao and digest the food i also haven finished cooking for us both lo"
i duno leh..everytime i cook , my ingrediants for that meal wil be more expensive than packed meal for us both. EG. i cook katsu don, i dun have mirin, i go buy, i dun have the curry powder, i go buy..i dun have bread crumbs i also go buy..end up, these left over ingrediants are stored in shelves..coz i dun cook for 2nd time in such a short period..
it's realli not practical!
i have a couple fren in 30s, they are both working, and they catered food from mom's kitchen..it's nice and dun even have to fight over who is gona wash dish..and both can relax on coach and watch TV..that's also quality time spent!
<font color="aa00aa">I LIKE THIS STATEMENT THE BEST!! it's 2009, not 1969</font> if you wan me to be a woman of 1969 who cooks, then u jolly well be the man from 1969 who provide 100% finance for house
crystal_cloud
New Member
green i also feel so lo..all my guy fren's ex also pretty babes..duno y cannot attract him..except my gal..seriously , the guy even hand wash her undies for her leh.
hehe, tat's funny... ya hor, last time the men provided the full housing and stuff + give allowance.
cooking is fun, it's an activity and should remain that way in this day and age. it's fun creating new stuff. it should be abt passion and interest. Otherwise it's just another chore... it's like an endless 10yr series to get it right in order to pass a test.
pink, your guy should love u. becos u can cook... just not regularly. if he loves a girl who can cook regularly, i'm sure there's alot of single ladies at foodcourts/resturants. they'll cook for him 24/7, he just needs to Pay. keke
cooking is fun, it's an activity and should remain that way in this day and age. it's fun creating new stuff. it should be abt passion and interest. Otherwise it's just another chore... it's like an endless 10yr series to get it right in order to pass a test.
pink, your guy should love u. becos u can cook... just not regularly. if he loves a girl who can cook regularly, i'm sure there's alot of single ladies at foodcourts/resturants. they'll cook for him 24/7, he just needs to Pay. keke
crystal_cloud
New Member
cook occasionally + on new dishes on selected weekends= qing qu and surprise
cook constantly on every weekend = routine
cook everyday = chore!!!!
wonder how i gona managed when have kids leh..
cook only kids food and da bao for adult?
cook constantly on every weekend = routine
cook everyday = chore!!!!
wonder how i gona managed when have kids leh..
cook only kids food and da bao for adult?
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Get a maid, Pink Cloud.
kids are easy lah... initially u can get those baby foods in cartons, 5million flavours to choose from. buy from organic shops... then later just porridge... invest in a simmering pot can liao, then throw in bah-hu, little eggs n stuff... once they hit 2+, u can feed them french fries and ice cream liao... they can eat off your plate. chicken rice highly effective...
if u're a health freak, good luck!
if u're a health freak, good luck!
yeah it's the best n most convenient, and u can get it for 50cents at the food court cos pple hardly rem if u have bought from them previously. else throw in an egg... $1. simple and fuss-free. the oily nature makes it easy, it's tasty and the germs will help build body resistance... it's the perfect kid-food!
alcifertoh
New Member
It's more expensive to cook for few people than ta bao. Plus cook u still need to wash and blah blah blah...
Ta bao one pack 3 bucks. Eat liao everything dump. Hassle free and settled. But I would like cooking if everyone gathers together though. Home cook food still appeals to me although I weight convenience over it
Ta bao one pack 3 bucks. Eat liao everything dump. Hassle free and settled. But I would like cooking if everyone gathers together though. Home cook food still appeals to me although I weight convenience over it
crystal_cloud
New Member
cuclaine and powder, ya, i heard of the part time maid for 10 an hour..thinking of it too.
looks like HBH, powder and cuclaine al think like me..hehehe ta bao and part time maid.
rachel..perhaps from now on, u may wana consider our mindsets..and jus concentrate on cooking for your daughter will do...since he dun appreciate..dun have to do it at all..
the couple can go catch a movie and Bond instead >>>i realli think so leh..
haiz but most guys like my bf likes to say they like girls who are virtuous wives to be..like cook and take care of children...sorry i dun buy that..
very afraid i become yellow face woman without knowing!
let's be a 2009 woman!
looks like HBH, powder and cuclaine al think like me..hehehe ta bao and part time maid.
rachel..perhaps from now on, u may wana consider our mindsets..and jus concentrate on cooking for your daughter will do...since he dun appreciate..dun have to do it at all..
the couple can go catch a movie and Bond instead >>>i realli think so leh..
haiz but most guys like my bf likes to say they like girls who are virtuous wives to be..like cook and take care of children...sorry i dun buy that..
very afraid i become yellow face woman without knowing!
let's be a 2009 woman!
Cooking for only 2 persons is not worth the trouble..
But if you have 3 or more.. it is not too bad.
We used to cook. Just cook soup in slow cooker. And prepare all the ingredients in the morning. When home, it will just take 30 mins to cook dinner. And you can do it like 3 times a week. The other two days, can either eat out or ta bao.
Another option is to have dinner being catered.. 3 dishes and soup.. They will deliver to your house.
But better still, like for me the last couple of years - have a maid. She cooks lunch and dinner from monday to friday. Not only that, she does all the cleaning, washing, moping.. worth the money ... On weekend, sometimes we eat out or we ask the maid to go ta bao..
But if you have 3 or more.. it is not too bad.
We used to cook. Just cook soup in slow cooker. And prepare all the ingredients in the morning. When home, it will just take 30 mins to cook dinner. And you can do it like 3 times a week. The other two days, can either eat out or ta bao.
Another option is to have dinner being catered.. 3 dishes and soup.. They will deliver to your house.
But better still, like for me the last couple of years - have a maid. She cooks lunch and dinner from monday to friday. Not only that, she does all the cleaning, washing, moping.. worth the money ... On weekend, sometimes we eat out or we ask the maid to go ta bao..
Agree with sm, cooking for 3 to 4 is just nice. Before child born i was only cook during weekend but nt everyday. but after child, my mum was stay with us together while helping me taking good care of my girl. Those nvr cook at home they may nt know or may take super long time to preparing the ingredients to cook. But to me, i may used up only half an hour done for 3 dishes (the max only 1 hour). maybe i used to be easy cook & some experienced. Overall, if you got a child at home you may got another different comments here. no offend here
pink,
Bingo. this is what i'm doing now. My focus now is only my precious girl. Every mrn before going work make sure prepared all ingredients for my mum to cook in slow cooker for my girl porridge. Now only will cook on weekend for my mum & myself.That beast? Only allow him to sniff sniff ard yet cannot eat.
Bingo. this is what i'm doing now. My focus now is only my precious girl. Every mrn before going work make sure prepared all ingredients for my mum to cook in slow cooker for my girl porridge. Now only will cook on weekend for my mum & myself.That beast? Only allow him to sniff sniff ard yet cannot eat.
crystal_cloud
New Member
your mom is with you?
is she angry with your husband everytime she sees him?
this time must be a period of endurance for all of you since you stil gota come in contact everyday...
is she angry with your husband everytime she sees him?
this time must be a period of endurance for all of you since you stil gota come in contact everyday...
pink,
yes, my mum with me since the days for confinements days.. she's the one who witness what he doing to me. ever asked me why still can endure for him.. I'm alright and just asked my mum nt to worry or interfere. My character same as my mum. A very good & patient to ppl always. but she said i'm better than her! Just consult a lawyer, as long we both don interfere each other affair .. life still going & i will as per normal in front my lovely daughter. don wish to influence the little child.
yes, my mum with me since the days for confinements days.. she's the one who witness what he doing to me. ever asked me why still can endure for him.. I'm alright and just asked my mum nt to worry or interfere. My character same as my mum. A very good & patient to ppl always. but she said i'm better than her! Just consult a lawyer, as long we both don interfere each other affair .. life still going & i will as per normal in front my lovely daughter. don wish to influence the little child.
crystal_cloud
New Member
u are not only patient i guess and u are brave to face him everyday..i couldnt have done it.
a small argument already can make me cry..let alone this..i really hope the best for you..n realli sorry for your plight.
mayb one day he will realise his mistake as he sees you with no comments at all and like resiging to fate..
a small argument already can make me cry..let alone this..i really hope the best for you..n realli sorry for your plight.
mayb one day he will realise his mistake as he sees you with no comments at all and like resiging to fate..
