Any Christian-Buddhist couples out there?? I NEED ADVICE!!!

[snowbell42]

Wondering if there r any Christian & Buddhist relationship gg on in this forum???

I am in the midst of searching for the AD venue & it's oni last nite tht I noticed mayb my bf's parents (or perhaps mum) wish I can convert to their religion (christian).. though they din specify it tht clear (& after my bf's clarification wif his mum), I was told tht they wun force me to convert etc...

Juz wondering shd I continue tis r'ship or end it? 'cos the way his mum told me, she dun sound like she is juz bringing out a conversation during din

curious to find out how u guys overcome tis issue & will ur ILs nag at u to convert, say after marriage etc??

i need some advise pls... thanks...

 

[pinkfurry66]

may i ask how ur ILs bring up the issue?

 

[snowbell42]

whilst waiting for dinner to b served at the kopitiam.. she asked wht buddha i pray at home.. so i told her is guanyin.. then she asked if i know if my bf is a non-buddhist (christian) i nod n said ya... then i cant rem wht she said but she said slowly... (sth like tell me to slowly convert lor).. then his dad suddenly also told me he (his dad) sacrifice his own church & follow his mum's church after they together.. but his dad added "all religion is the same after all" after his mum said "slowly lor..."

sigh... m i over sensitive or is it they really wish i can convert... after tht nite, my bf asked his parents esp his mum abt it... she keep telling (s heard fr him) him tht she wun interfere... n it's individual one lor... tht's y i need some advice fr here

 

[7ll]

i think your problem is "Do you love this men? do you willing to give up your own ?? over him? how about my family feel toward me or etc..."
You must very clear & firm with what you wanna be/gonna be(religion) before you make this decision(marry your bf). With a clear direction than it is easy for you & your bf carry on to other matters.

 

[snowbell42]

Hi Lawlee,

I thk u meant "how abt his family feel towards me?"

Yes i m v clear & firm s to wht I wanna b in terms of religion.. even b4 we go stead, tis is one of the issue tht is holding me back to gg stead wif him.. n he is the one who assured me tht his parents r fine wif me not converting...

it's oni after frequent visit to his hse & having din wif his fam, then i heard tis fr his mum personally... which leads me to tis current thread prob...

anyway i have already told my bf abt my stand, now n even after marriage.. 'cos s he is the oni son n oni child, worried tht his parents might say ok to our marriage first then kinda force me to convert after marriage..

well, even if they din force me to convert, in future when i have my own kids, sure is another dilemma... let them b the same religion s me or their dad.. i m actually ok wif it so long s my bf's parents dun insist on turning them to b christians..

marriage is really a v shang nao jin issue.. sigh... esp where there r such diff in the couple.. n it's definitely 2 families issue.. sigh

 

[7ll]

i understand your feeling, cos my case is catholic(bf) & free thinker(me), my bf & family didn't force me to baptised, cause it is "faith", cant force.

I suggest you go into another tread to seek those christian bride's oppinion cause this kind of issue are very sensitive, only 'pure' christian ppl can advice, but careful, they will say their thing...NO OFFEND

 

[7ll]

O ya, you searching for the AD venue right? dont choose church, else you must follow liao...

 

[snowbell42]

Hi Lawlee,

Thanks for ur advice.. tht's actually y i kinda scared of those devoted christians.. 'cos i happen to have a few devoted christian frens during my school days, they will try to "psycho" me to go to their church etc... lost touch due to tis issue 'cos i m kinda irritated abt it when they start their conversation abt it.. (no offence intended)

ya... thanks once again lawlee, i wun go to church for the AD... juz hope tht his fam wun insist on having it at the church will do liao... *really keeping fingers crossed tht things wun turn out the reverse*

btw, ur bf n fam din invite u to their church etc?

 

[7ll]

They didn't invite, but i go along, hehehe(my mum just 'sign....'), i ok one...i told him before, you don't force me, let me study & know them better first, its doesn't mean that i must baptised if it is good, all religion are teaching good what...my AD will be in church, my bf insist cause toward them must solomenizing in church & pray by father then consider married. so before we manage to engage father, we must attend the EE class(engange encounter) to abtain the certificate, otherwise, no father will 'host' your wedding, sorry ah, i still dont know how to use those christianity word.
After abtain the cert..haha,when till this part, i feel 'sian'...really 'sian'...story havent finish...
Anyway, as long i can marry the men i love, i just conquer/overcome/fight whatevet obstacle it is. So, i always tell my bf, dont think you doing or sacrifice over me, they is nothing you can compare with i had did

 

[snowbell42]

Hi Lawlee,

ya... glad tht u know ur stand too... anyway i have told my bf tht i will argue back (after marriage) if they insist tht i convert, which i hope they wun... n also keeping fingers crossed tht i dun have to have my wedding in the church.. else i m sure my parents will object liao...

 

[7ll]

Why not consider outdoor solomenize? one of our catholic friend did that, its very romantic & unique too.

Good Luck to you!!!!

 

[snowbell42]

not sure... c how it goes after my bf officially inform my parents abt our marriage first lor..

 

[tootsieroll]

Shirlyn,
I think whether or not you have to convert to christianity depends on which christian group your bf belongs to. Some christian churches will insist that only the 'same kind', ie christians should be together, so your being buddhist is going to be a problem. Like lawlee says, Catholic teaching is different in that the spouse does not need to convert.

Something to think about is what happens if you do marry and have children

I'm not sure about your bf's church - maybe he will have the obligation to try to bring his children up as christians. Will you or your parents be ok with that?

So, lots of issues to think about unfortunately.

 

[snowbell42]

hi tootsieroll,

my bf oni believes in god.. he dun go to church anymore... it's the prob wif his parents now... esp his mum who can b considered a devotee (i thk) 'cos she goes to church every sun morn... i not sure wht church is tht 'cos i dun wanna find out too much abt it else later they really thot i interested in it n started psycho-ing me into it... sigh...

s for the kids.. ya i thot of it also... i have to discuss wif my parents over tis issue again when my bf inform my fam abt our marriage...

 

[tootsieroll]

shirlynn,
Oh I see. Have both of you ever discussed the issue of any potential children? Do you want to raise them as buddhists? Would he like them to be raised as christians? Or maybe to learn both and when they're older, they can make up their mind themselves?

Ya, I think such a touchy issue with his parents...ask too much maybe they will start psychoing you into it. At the end of the day, it's both of you getting married lor.

 

[narkke]

Hi shirlynn,

sad to say, what u are facing is a v.sensitive issue. There is a saying: Religion does seperate people. Look around, i think there is some truth to it.

Well, forcing/pressure you to convert to their preferred religion, be it soft or hard force definitely makes the r/s a bit tougher for both u & yr bf.

Perhaps, an honest & direct talking session with your bf will solve much queries or doubts u have. See what his views on the conversion. Ideally, any conversion has got to be a willing party without any influence or pressure.

Yea, you are rite, u shld also discuss with yr folks. Im sure they loves u v.much & will abide with watever decision u made.

Gd luck.

 

[demio]

Hi Shirlynn,

I don't think you are goin to have much problems with your kids since your hubby doesn't go to church.

I tend to think marriage is between 2 people. Are you going to stay with your in laws? If not, i don't think it is goin to be a major issue since your hubby is ok to repect your choice of religion. I really don't see how your in laws can force you into it, unless emotional blackmailing your hubby. I don't think they will stoop so low rite?

Good Luck.

 

[snowbell42]

Hi

tootsieroll

pertaining the kids qn, i will let my kids decide the religion they wanna believe when they grow up...


Tom

ya.. he d said religion shdn't b forced.. it shd b a willing conversion thing.. now i m already having lots of phobia re tis issue though he keep assuring me they wun force me to convert etc.. juz hope tht things will go smoothly in the yrs to come lor... of coz i m sure my parents will object if i m to convert to christianity after so many yrs... n the worst thing is due to their force...


Demio

i wish i dun have to stay wif my ILs but s he is the oni child n son... i thk they would prefer him to stay wif them even after marriage.. else of coz i know it wun b a v big issue already since even my bf also din go church juz tht he believes in god..

emotional blacklist him? err.. tht i also not sure... but i doubt so... of coz they would scared tht their oni son (n child) b upset wif them etc...

 

[cecilialim]

i think in our modern society now... no one can force someone to convert or not convert... it very individual.. religion is only a channel of your beliefs. Faith is what you should have in yourself and is more important than anything. your chidren can be free thinker in future. then when they are old enough to choose their own then they follow their heart.

i'm a buddhist, but i'm equally interested in reading the bible, my understanding is not less than christians. it really doesn't matter... old peple may be conservative.. but if youe expressed your intentions not to convert cos there's no need to, then it shouldn't be a problem between you and your bf/husband. religion is supposed to bring people together, not break people.... don't be too perturb by something which doesn't command your life... follow the Faith in you

 

[snowbell42]

yup thanks for ur advice cecilia,

tht's wht i intend to do lor... let my future kids decide the religion they wanna follow in the future...

 

[padi]

Hi Shirlynn,
I don't think its easy at all to deal with MFIL, esp when they have different ideas or views about marriage and faith. Faith is a very private and personal experience (and I make this comment as a committed Christian) and no one should convert you. In any case, if you do convert, it has to be your own decision and God's guiding.

I am thinking his mom is worried and concerned. Which in a sense, is quite normal still. My FH's mom also made some comments which made me quite upset on some occasions but I learn to take it that she's being concerned (nothing to do with religion, but some other stuff). I guess she is trying to "test water" more than "force you".

If she ever force you, I think it is safe to tell her that "I hear from my friends God leads and guides people to Him. So if I feel guided I'll let you know."

Like Tom said, open communication with your FH is the most impt and I sensed you already made this very clear to him.

So the most impt person has assured you. As for his parents, if it gets difficult, then I guess it will be his responsibility to take care of you. I sure hope he does!

I guess your bad experience with "pushy" Christians has left a bad impression. I really feel sorry that you have met such people. I believe in sharing, but not pressurizing. I've also met "pushy" non-Christians who try to challenge my beliefs and is outrightly trying to pick a quarrel. So I guess there's ALWAYS nasty people around, Christians and non-Christians.

Take care Shirlynn.

 

[snowbell42]

Thanks for ur advices Hui,

I specially luv ur phrase "God leads & guides pple to Him.. so if i feel guided, i will let u know.." haha... i have to go memorise tis phrase so tht it can b of use in the near future

I also hope tht my FH will b wif me when tht day comes... *keeping fingers really crossed*

 

[tootsieroll]

shirlynn,
If your bf wants to marry you, he will marry you regardless of what your FILs try to say or do. Afterall, as you say, he doesn't go to church, and clearly his parents haven't managed to 'force' him back there. So apart from physically tying you down with rope and dragging you to church every sunday, I don't think they can force you to do anything

 

[snowbell42]

hi tootsieroll,

juz happen tht my bf din go church but he still believe in christianity.. anyway i agree wif ur pt tht he din go church blah blah

 

[cecilialim]

leaving on religion is nothing but an empty shell.. live on your FAITH....

 

[cecilialim]

i meant 'living' instead of leaving...

 

[snowbell42]

ya of coz... thanks cecilia *winkz*

 

[thriu]

hi
you making a right decision by converting to christianity.why?
1.builds ties
2. serving & loving ONE GOD
3 gives children direction to be as one family.
(saying goes..a family that eats roti prata togetjer stays together)
Bible emphasis strong values for a great marriage
and bring up childre. and as husband & wife ,need to move as one,be united(unity is strength) pillar of a good marriage. . "if the house is divided it will fall"
but most imp that u knw christ died for u and he loves u,wants to see u,family prosper in all areas of your life.You can call(if u want) free counselling by proffessionals reagarding this as its greatly help you make proper wise,very important decisions for your future.
62564302 baker Road Methodist Church.
as for me ,we(me,bride) have a marriage counsellor to guide us through the pre marital counselling to wedding.

hope this helps

 

[snowbell42]

Hi Triruselvam, I thk u have mis read my post. I DUN intend to convert...

 

[icehody]

hi shirlynn,

i used to be in the same position before. my hubby is a presbyterian and his mum's wish is to see her children get married in a church.

i told my hubby that i will not adopt a religion just to get married. if this is the case, then i guess it of no use to be together...cos i believe that religion should not play a part. FATE brought us together, not religion. and beside religion teaches us to be good...not to force people to accept a religion against their wishes.

the best is to have a good talk with your bf and depends on what you both want…not what others want…as this is supposed to be the wedding you both wanted…maybe u can have 2 wedding ceremonies like me…

my wedding was held twice, a traditional customary chinese wedding (which is our official wedding) and a church reception. we both did the religious way....my hubby initial opt not to do the church wedding as he is not a religious person...but i insists as i think this is fair for both sets of parents as parents alway have this wish to see their own children married in a traditional way.

i believe all religions are the same....hence i do agreed its FATE that will lead you to your own religion irregardless of the paths that lead you.

as for children, i think we should leave it to them to decide what they choose to believe in when they grew up. bring them up in an environment that is full of love and laughter...we all want to bring up good kids...as long as both of you are good parents...your children will grow up smart and responsible adults….

Don’t dwell on this too much...be a happy bride…

 

[max0924]

hihi, not sure if this thread is still live. im a converted christian bride and my FH family is buddhist, but they are very open one. in fact they sent my FH to church school when he was very young and he knows the bible more than me.

frankly i think that to convert or not to convert is a personal thing. God will not want His people to convert blindly, there must be a 'calling' to be converted. It took me quite a long while to accept Christ actually, and even though my FH still have not accepted, I truely believe that one day he will do it willingly.

i guess the best is to let God lead you, but let it flow naturally. one of these days, if you feel like, just go church and experience. Some churches are very meaningful, like mine, we are very modern and Pastors are cute and funny, they alwaz make our day. so dun tink that church is alwaz very solemn.

dun mistaken, i m not asking you to convert, but im telling you things that you may not have experience and there is really no harm. it takes time and effort to try, if cannot, at least you did try right?

but still the most impt is u & yur FH must be happy the way you are, right?

 

[tootsieroll]

Momo,
What did you convert from? As you say, I also think that conversion to any religion is a personal thing for the individual.

which church do you do to now?

 

[danadele]

hi shirlynn,

my FH n i are belongs to the different religions.. he is a buddhist (not devoted kind)whereas m a christian. I do understand wat u are facing.. cuz my mum also have every intention to ask my FH to convert.. but i told my mum let nature takes it's own course.. if he is to become a christian one dae he will if nt even if he become one not out from his own will.. he also will not be happy.. my mum quite understanding thus did not pressurise him..partial is becuz she is a converted buddhist to christian.. then he will be if not .. he is wat he is.. for my IL they are very understanding too.. they wun ask me to do things that i cant do and respected me..

my FH and i have seriously dicuss this issue.. i told him.. we muz respect both our religion.. no forcing.. everything muz come in own will and let says if have children, is fair enuff to let them explore and when they older enuff can make their own decisions then they will choose their religion..

basically is about how ur FH n u liaise wif one another.. though is an issue.. but u dun dwell too much in it.. ya..

be a happy bride ya.. o i do agree wif wat your sae.. though m a christian, i do understand that there's somne pushies around.. i also cant stand them.. i tink is whether u wanna to be in wat religion is ultimately out from ur own free will ya

btw.. when's ur AD??

 

[max0924]

hi tootsieroll, my family believes in buddhism and they are very strongly against Christianity. i accepted Christ like 6 years ago, but never knew the reason of accepting and why i have to go church etc thus i never did. until late last year, i was hospitalised and the 1st thing i thought of was God, it was very instant and miraculously. and i started to go church every sun and i understand more and more what is Christianity about.

thus shirlyn, dun do it unless u know wat u r doing and u are ready to do it. im sure your FH and ILs will want u to understand what is Christ all about and not blindly follow.

tootsieroll, im from new creation. are u from there as well? i have been to so many churches when i have not accepted Christ, through the invitations from friends, none of the churches made me feel like NCC..u know wat i mean right?

 

[tootsieroll]

Momo,

Glad to know you recovered well. It's often at times of adversity when people cry out to God. I think we're all too complacent generally, and don't appreciate Him enough.

I'm Catholic. I haven't been to NCC before, but been once to CHC, which I assume is different to NCC?

So if your family members are buddhists, do you clash with them, or do you just agree to disagree?

 

[max0924]

hi tootsieroll, i have not been to CHC actually, but NCC is really different, if u wan something to luff about, u can alwaz join us for the bible studies or worship services on sun, the pastors alwaz tell jokes, and very relevant to our lives. at 1st i go there to enjoy and later on i realised more and more the purpose of going to church. and they do not 'push' u, even if u are a smoker and has accepted christ, they do not ask u to quit immediately coz we all believe the Christ in you will eventually quit it totally.

and i totally agree with u that often at times of adversity when people cry out to God, almost 90% of my Christian frenz accepted Christ when they are in a 'crisis', only God creates that miracles.

ever since i was hospitalised, my family are not so against although i know my mum still do not like it, but there is nothing much she can do actually. im already so old and in such kinda health condition, there is nothing much mankind can do, except God, really.

 

[darkwing79]

Hi Shirlyn,

I am have the exact situation as you. I am a Christian. My FW is not.

I am the only son. I am worst. I go to church. I love God. I also love my FW.

This qns pops up the first day, I met my FW. When we started this relationship 8yrs ago.

When we talk about it, it always brings my FW to tears. As we love each other.

My mum also did ask about the issue. My FW's parents also know of the problem. They chose to remain neutral of it. Let my FW decide.

I chose to remain neutral also. As I love my FW. I dun such matters be a hinderance. As such. Its her decision to convert or not.

We have a neutral decision on it.. I have also discuss with my FW with her as such.

We have a neutral ground for wedding. Outdoor solemisation cum church weddding and wedding banquet.

The only thing thats needs to work out is.. whether I may need to bow to her ancestors.. which I believe is ok.. as I also heard be fore to honour thy father and mothers. But to her god, I will not bow and offer incenses.

Shirlynn, dun worry just work it out with your HB. Can be done.

i believe mine can.

Just be happy and claim the happiness.

 

[snowbell42]

thanks for the advice adrian..

currently my PILs n parents r ok wif our r'ship.. s in i dun need to go for church solemnisation.. but wht makes me wonder is wht is my FH supposed to do on our AD? 'cos I m supposed to pray (wif joss sticks) b4 i get out of my hse.. is my FH supposed to do the same s well?

at least urs is juz to bow to ancestors.. mine is the buddha n also to take joss stick wor.. wonder if he shd take them anot..

s for my future kids, i will let it come naturally n let them decide for themselves in the future

 

[darkwing79]

H Shirlynn,

Mine is the same. I got a dilemma of whether need to offer joss stick to the God of my FW house. When I go fetch her on AD.

I dun think so. To me at least lah. Have to make it known to your parents that he is a christian, he will not be able to offer incense to Buddha on the actual day.

Bow in respect to the Anncestors should be ok.

Talk you FH, what is his opinion of it. Make it known to your parents, as he already make the compromise of no church solemisation.

Discuss with your FH and parents on their views loh.

To me at least, I will not offer joss stick. I have told my FW that.

I feel that dun make it difficult for him, at leaast he can answer to his parents. If such queries arise

Discuss with him and your parents. See how it pans out

Cheers

 

[girlosophy]

For me, my family are Christians and When i say family, I mean EXTENDED family too. 3 of my uncles and 1 of my aunty are pastors. My FH is buddhist.

My mum just told his mum that I cannot kneel to their gods, cannot offer incense.

But my FMIL is a very understanding lady. She readily agreed

My family are Christians but I have also stopped going a while back but I do believe in it.

I would like my future children (if i have any) to go to Sunday School etc... I think it benefitted me when I was growing up, instilling some morals and ways of thinking.

 

[minn]

Hi Shirlynn & Adrian,

I new here

I am also a Christian but my FH is a Buddhist. We've set our AD to be in May 08 and will not be having wedding in church. Had agreed with FH that I will not be offering joss sticks to his ancestors.

Initial stage was stage as I was expecting him to convert to my religion. But after loads of arguments, I've come to realised that I value our relationship more than anything else. As for the future, I'll leave it to God.

 

[charmed8]

Hi girls. I'm Catholic n FH is Soka (Japanese Buddhism). He went to a Catholic school before but his family n relatives are mostly Soka, while my dad is a devout Catholic. We don't force the other to convert religions, but the pressure is from each other's family/relatives and friends. FH is secretly hoping that I'll slowly decide to join Soka, but I don't want to. What annoyed me is when FH's best friend commented, "Usually the girl HAS to change to hubby's surname, and also convert to hubby's religion, so when r u going to convert?". I almost strangled that guy! Huh!

We decided to let the future take its course, and let our future kids to decide their own religion too.

 

[tootsieroll]

Hi agata,
It's quite annoying when other people make it their business regarding what they think the couple should do, isn't it?

How is your dad towards your FH? I'm catholic too, and during my EE course, most of the couples were inter-faith. I think the main thing is to try to introduce the Faith to the child, and then you can say you have done your duty, even if the child accepts the Faith in the future or not

 

[mage]

I'm a buddhist and my hubby is a Catholic. Long before when we first started going out we already reached an agreement that we will not force each other to convert religion. He is free to attend his church and I do go with him at times too, and I'm free to go temple and he accompanies me too. When its comes to children in future, we decide to let them decide their own religion as well.

To me, I do not see a point in converting to the religion if I have no faith in it. No point doing it for the sake of the other half. What happens if you were to split in future *touchwood* and you had converted for his/her sake? Its different in cases where the other half converts out of their own free will.

I think the basic understanding and respect between couple is very important.

 

[joenbby]

hey gals

i understand all these religion and marriage stuff. I used to be Buddhist from home, my fiance a Catholic. Mum's a devoted Catholic thus rule is fiance's wife must be a Catholic. In fact anyone going into their family has to be Catholic.

I started going church with fiance just accompanying him. But after a while i realised i will convert bcos i love him and wants to be with him. So i'll do this for him so that his mum will accept me. Good thing for me, i was touched by God myself eventually so i'm glad to say i convert not totally bcos of him but for God.

Anyway wat i want to say is dun be restricted by religion matters. Most importantly is the love you have for each other. Somehow some things will work out by themselves. I had a hard time struggling with myself having to tell my family about my conversion. Even though i'm a Catholic now, i still help out at home with Buddhish stuff and i don't think there's anything wrong with them except that my future MIL is not supposed to know about it.

Feel free to email me if you need someone to chat about this.

[email protected]

 

[joenbby]

Missed out something...regarding josssticks...there's really nothing wrong with holding josssticks for ancestors or buddha as long as we are not worshipping them in our heart. When we do this, we are just honouring our parents, respecting the ancestors. God will not blame us on this.

 

[danadele]

agata, hihi im a christian whereas my hubby is a buddhist.. we both oso come into agreement of not forcing one another to each religion.. we all let nature take its own course.. yup i do agree family n frens pressure are there but most important is how the thinking of both of u.. both his parents n my mum are quite liberal.. so call leave it to us.. but of cuz there's some relatives of ours are wagging their tongues bout..i juz got married last sat.. during the customary his mum n dad noes i cant hold jossticks so they never give me hold ..

 

[tulip3]

Hi, I'm new here and in a similar situation. I'm Christian and FH is not, however the pressure comes from my family. I've convinced them that we will not have a Church wedding but we are planning to have a Christian wedding in the Hotel Ballroom. My fiance may not be comfortable saying the Christian vows in front of hundreds of guests. Has anyone been in such situation, how do you overcome it? My parents insist that the solominisation must be in front of all the guests, and not a private affair...it has caused me lots of stress and grief.

 

[hazuki]

Hi all, i juz wanna share my story...
I am a catholic n my FH is from a taoist family but he remained a freethinker all these years. Except qing ming festival & 7th mth festival.

I insist on a church wedding simply because I have to. Rule states that every catholic have to be married in the house of GOD in order to receive blessings from GOD.

I am going through the church ceremony in the morning and then the tea ceremony in the afternoon before the banquet. My FH family is not coming to the church ceremony. Only his mom n brother is coming. I am pretty pissed off. But since I am marrying him, not his external family, i shldn't care much.

Therefore, my FH n I came to a compromise that I do not convert him *no intention anyway*. He went wif me to CEE in Mar 07. Went to c the priest for our pre-nup agreement. & 2 sessions of crash bible course held my our presiding priest. *a must*

Throughout all those sessions, he remained open minded. & he agreed to baptise our kids upon birth *a must* and bringing them up in the catholic faith. Me on the other hand agreed not to force our kids if they intend to step away from GOD eventually after all we have done.

All it takes is LOVE n UNDERSTANDING among both of us. There are certain things that we cannot help but follow. There are certain things that can be compromised. As long as we give n take, everything will be juz fine.

Though it seems like my FH compromised lots, I did also on other parts. *the breaking of the princess type wedding bubble*??

 

[monkie]

shirlynn,
this really got to depend on how you and FH thinks. some people insist their SO is christian or else he will not date him/her. since he willing to marry you, which means he is not borther by your religion background.

if i am you...
i think no point convert for the sake of convert since your heart is not into christianity. but for the sake of maintaining peace and harmony...I think you should go ahead with a holy matrimony. In the event if you are not allowed to have your holy matrimony in church, then get the pastor to solomise your wedding outside church.

i am sure your MIL is not that unreasonable. but i will think its a pity to cancel the wedding because of religion. sorry..this is my personal point of view. not here to ruffles any feathers.

both of you having the same religion doesn't guarantee a blissful marriage. in another words, I dun think a successful marriage has anything to do with religon. both couples effort,commitment, communication that is critcal in a building a strong marriage.