Ang Bao - "Nappy" Money

[selphie]

Hi All Brides and Bride-to-bes,

Anyone's mom asked for "nappy money" ang bao as part of the overall ang bao? It's supposedly angbao given by your FH to your mom for 'soiling her hands with nappy to bring you up".

How much is the general market rate? My mum wants this but she doesn't know how much to ask for, my FH a non-chinese also dunno how much to give! Help!!

Thanks in advance..

 

[dappy]

hi Selphine,

nappy money is juz a way to show appreciation to ur mother for bringing u up
from your husband. A token like $168 should be ok (yi lu fa)...

 

[selphie]

Thanks dappy is that the market rate? any other friends of yours gave nappy money too?

 

[xoxo]

Hi Selphie,

my cousin hubby gave $5k for tht. And cos we r cantonese tht is why... I got another cousin who married 15yrs ago gav my auntie 8k... So it actually depends also...

 

[niuniu]

hi selphie, my hubby gave $888 to my mum. That's on top of the pin jin... My pin jin is $10k (banquet tables + cash). My poor hubby gotta pay thru his nose man, coz got no parents to support him (his parents report to heaven already)..

So ultimately still depends on your mum. Suggest u discuss with your mum then give the number to your hubby. Then sure no mistake.

 

[icebaby0]

I didn't know there was such thing. I only know that there was an angpow that my mum took some money out and then left the rest to return. Is that the one?

 

[selphie]

Hi Gals,

Thanks for the inputs on the $$.

Icebaby, this 'tradition' may not be applicable to all dialect groups too I think!

Anyone can enlighten on the source of this tradition? Some of my friends also didn't have this, but my mum says it's necessary for her.. so we better prepare! ;P

 

[huggiez]

so when to give this nappy money? is it during GDL or on AD when serving tea??

wow 5 - 8k for the nappy money? so much ah? oni need to give mom rite no need to give dad?

 

[niuniu]

Selphie, heard it does not apply to all dialect groups but after my mum heard from those aunty friends of hers, she also want. Think they wanna compare how much they are worth in the eyes of their sons-in-law. My hubby always tell me, if $$ can make my parents happy, then spend it, to save the problem of having them nagging us for many years to come.

Mushloom, my hubby passed a separate ang bao to my mum during GDL. But my hubby wrote on the ang bao "ten months of pregnancy" so that my dad won't be jealous. Heeee.....

Coz my dad also got wash nappy for me mah.

 

[selphie]

Hi Niu Niu, thanks.. yeah initially my mum was like 'shopping' for customs too! I almost fainted but she has 'downsized' quite a fairbit so since she asked for nappy $$, I told my hubby better to give, will just ask around for market rate... thanks for your inputs..

 

[blissfulme]

hmm..me cantonese bride too. after reading all the angpow amount, i was like.. going to faint..

im budgetting my mum $28 nappy $, same when my sis got married this year..this is of course on top of the dowry stuff, dowry AP and tables u give to your mum..its a gesture of appreciation mah.. my mum also agreed to keep everything simple. yi-si yi-si..

if the couple are forking all every single cent of the wedding, its wise to budget coz it will be very 'siong' for the couple... i realise there is so much angpows the groom side have to GIVE to the bride's during GDL..ping jin lah, dowry stuff like roasted pig, can pig trotters, fruits, giveway cake (xi bing), elderly angpow (for brides' parents, grandparents and unmarried siblings..).. i oso feel quite bad for hubby..my MIL was like ..u all cantonese so many customs..but also nvr ask her to fork a single cent wor...

 

[el005]

i think no amt of $ can represent the amt of effort our parents brought us up.

nappy money today is just symbolic.

can be $28 or $2800.. up to all..

 

[tiara1211]

agree with el005..no amount can represent mum's efforts..
my sis gave $200...I'm thinking of $268 or $288

hey niuniu...thats a very nice way of writing on the angpow.."shi yue huai tai"..hahaa...will ask hubby write that too!!

 

[niuniu]

Hi Irene, nappy ang bao is for mum who wash nappy for the bride mah. But the problem is my dad also got fair share of wash nappy for me so if I don't change to "shi yue huai tai", my dad will be jealous leh. Anyway, my hubby also don't know how much. Then my mum also don't know coz her auntie friends all don't wanna tell her. Think they scare if they get less than the other, "no face" mah. So my hubby say, in order to make her happy, give $888 lor. & my mum's really very happy, really over the moon. But that time I asked for advice in forum, nobody respond leh. So really no benchmark lor.

U are right abt the pinjin & stuff. If no money, really difficult to have eventful wedding. It's expensive. Like I said, my hubby gave 10 tables + $2288 (pinjin) + $888 (nappy), parents return $1k, nett he paid $10k liao. Our total wedding costs + honeymoon costs us $55k & that's not those grand wedding type, just normal 1.

 

[tiara1211]

*gasp*

55k?!?

wow!!!

 

[dokie_dokie]

hi all, just curious...is nappy money usually for FH to give to bride's mom? How about bride giving to MIL? Anyone heard of it...? MIL has actually asked from me... which I find strange.

 

[tiara1211]

hi dokie dokie
hmmm...me also first time heard of it
I guess the reason why groom give to bride's mum is bcos bride is marrying into groom family..
strange that yr MIL should ask from you??
prob Im wrong..hope others can advise

 

[selphie]

Hi NiuNiu,

All in our budget for wedding is about $42K, we managed to cap it below 50K because our no. of tables only about 25 max.. includes pinjin, nappy money etc. hey you asked for nappy money advise here before? Sorry never see it, that's why I started the thread but thanks so much for your inputs... wah $888 is quite alot!

Hi Dokie,

First time hearing MIL asking for nappy $ from DIL!! Sounds weird indeed.. ??

 

[niuniu]

Yah Irene. $40k for the wedding but becomes $25k aft netting ang bao collection lah. But we had a very good honeymoon. That costs us $15k lor.

Hey dokie, kind of surprised too that groom's mum ask for it. 1st time heard also. Irene's reason is right. Coz bride marrying out of the family, as a gesture, groom give to bride's mum lor. That's what all my mum's aunty friends said. Suggest u get your hubby to tell your MIL.

Hi Selpie, I've ask for advice somewhere about late last yr but now can't find liao. Good for you to keep to your budget. But u must be prepared for unexpected costs, eg. extra ang bao, transport/petrol, some last min things, etc... My budget was initally $30k, aft netting expected ang bao collection but finalised costs becomes $40k. Wedding burst $4k, honeymoon burst $6k lor.

 

[dokie_dokie]

hi all, thanks! will get hubby to ask MIL about it.

 

[minhue]

hi all,
me new to this thread..... thks for clarifying the issue on nappy money... really helps..

Hi niuniu,
Wow!!! where did u go for ur honeymoon... $15k... that's a lot.... me over over spent on my wedding prep and now have no budget for honeymoon...

 

[niuniu]

Hi minhue, indeed we have overspent. We were shocked also after we finalised our credit card bills. We went on an Alaska cruise with Celebrity Cruises & extended another week in Canada covering Vancouver & Canadian Rockies. If we were to do it again, we'd probably stay in motels rather than hotels, self-drive to the Rockies rather than take a packaged tour & sign up shore excursions with private providers rather than through Celebrity Cruises. With that, think we can save about S$3k.

I think a honeymoon is a good way to relax yourselves after the hectic wedding preparations. It's also a good way to start life together as husband & wife. Who says u need to spend a lot of $$ for honeymoon? I have a friend who spent 2 weeks in Phuket (b4 tsunami) for honeymoon, relaxing, spa, etc... That's also very nice. He spent less than $2k.

 

[matsu]

If i m not wrong, think cantonese don't request 4 nappy hongbao.

 

[rosewhite]

Hi gals,

may i know the nappy angbaos can be given during AD? Or must definately give during GDL? thx

 

[ngfifi]

Hi rosewhite

Nappy $ are supposed to be given during GDL

Hi Selphie

Wat ur MIL asked for is actually an AB, thanking her for helping u couples to An Chuan

Juz a brief history of wat was given during GDL, nappy $ etc

My PIL gave my mum $3888 (nappy $), on top of tat, my mum was given abt 20 tables

During GDL, nappy $ was brought over by hubby to my mum together with oranges, bottles of oranges and necessary stuff

When An Chuan, me n hubby had to give PIL a AB each for thanking them helping us to An Chuan. On top of that, we have to give an AB to hubby parents for them to buy clothing n shoes (old thinking)

1 AB each was also given to the elder sister and brother for buying clothing

On the same day, bride mum would have to prepare 2/3 AB for hubby to buy land, clothing etc

Tink that shld be all i can tink of n can share. However, different dialect ve different requirement

For me, both of us are Teochew

 

[rosewhite]

Hi Jen,

thx for sharing with us.. may i ask are all the 20 tables angbaos given to your mum? The nappy angbao your hubby gave $3888.. then there is another angbao which is pingjin right? Normally pingjin has to be more then nappy angbao is it? Or can it be the same amt? Btw, can share how much did your hubby give for the dowry? thx

 

[ngfifi]

Hi rosewhite

My mum did nt kept the tables AB for herself coz we used it to pay off the banquet

Actually cant rem hw much my mum rec'v for pinjin le leh but if im nt wrong, the nappy $ of $3888 is inclusive of pinjin le

As for dowry, its given in the form of "si dian jin" and all the necessary stuff like pig trotters etc

 

[monkie]

for my "nappy money", we did not state how much we wan, we leave it to groom side.

 

[football]

I was lucky cos my mom took only $388 of the $2388 of pin jing given to her. Nappy $ is $120 as requested by her. She then returned us $288 during the tea ceremony. On top of that, she returned us all the ang baos for the banquet, so we actually managed to gain abt $5k. My parents also gave diamond jewellary for my jia zhuang. very grateful to her...

 

[rosewhite]

Hi gals..

thx for the replies, usually the nappy angbao cannot be the same amt or more than the ping jin right?

 

[monkie]

nappy money is just a small token of appreciation to the mother. therefore should be lesser than pin jin.

 

[rosewhite]

Hi cythnia,

thank you for sharing.

 

[leejeslyn]

wat does nappy angbao in chinese called as?

 

[millh]

Hi Jeslyn

It's called 离乳.

 

[leejeslyn]

oh ok...u mean 'li ru' ang bao?

 

[phy]

Hi alll

does Hakka need nappy money?

Is it from husband or in law?

 

[weddingplans]

Hi Girls,

Pin Jing, my mum must give back some portion of it right? So for this nappy money, also must give some portion back or no need? Thanks in advance!

 

[rweyen]

pin jin its better to return some as to show no greed and tells tat marrying off daughters is not selling.

"li ru" nappy suppose to be not needed to return and depends on MIL. A gesture for thanking her, and not forgetting if there is grandparents, they hav to be given a "$mall Token" as well.

 

[fishoutofwater]

hi all, this nappy $ thingy does it apply to hakka brides? it not compuslory i hope as part of the neogitations?

 

[fishoutofwater]

repost. help anyone? my question above. thanks.

 

[fishnowater]

so there is no like standard market rate then?

 

[gogobutter]

This Nappy money in cantonese call what.. i told my bf... he is hongkie.. he say hongkie dun hab such things.. tell him hokkien "sway sai jio"... he aso dun understand... -_-