Am I forgiving or i simply refuse to let go?

[forgiving]

I can be called a useless woman by many. I am a very simple minded 33 yr old. I married my husband early last year. We dated for more than 5 years and of course been through with him those times when he have not stepped out to the working environment.
To start with, I initiated this relationship. I was with him when he just broke off with his ex gf. Naturally, we came together.
My husband is one who will not remember when our first kiss was, our first day dating, holding hands, rom date.... but it is fine with me. The time came when we have our wedding preps. It may seem like im the one more excited the whole time and he will always say "leave it to me, as long you like it". I do not see it as a problem too.
We are married for 1 year plus after customary. It is very obvious to him my family including his mum wants us to have babies. He is reluctant. It is not becos he is not stable or such. His career is successful and high flying.
I am already 33. How long more do i have to wait?
It was only recently he came to me and admitted something he did behind my back. He is involved , more like emotionally involved with a female colleague who has a very steady bf, supposed to get married this year end. He wants to pre empt me on this in case the matter blows up and I will receive a shock out of my life.
He is right. It is a shock. I know many ppl or friends who are having flings or affairs but i did not imagine it is my husband who appear so faithful to me...
I forgave him. I told him it is natural for him to feel for a colleague especially you see each other everyday.
The next day, i saw text from his mobile. The gal actually knew what was happening between the both of us. It is plain obvious my husband is so close to her he tells her everything.He told her i had forgave him and she asked if there is no possibility to continue? He replied "Let nature take its course".
People,I want to know, all your honest opinions of many questions in my heart now:
Does my husband love me, or just out of moral obligations, he stayed on with me? Becos we have been thru so much and being him, he will not initiate anything to me to hurt me.
Is he becoming serious with that 3rd party? He will not know i saw his text cos i am not allowed to. He told me off few times. If he really loves me, why is it that he still reply, let nature take its course... he could have said "No. My wife forgave me and I cannot hurt her anymore."
Why he don't want kids? He likes kids but why are we still waiting? We are not young already,both of us 33, especially me.
He seems unhappy nowadays. Going forward, do you think i will really forgive? or will i still bring this matter up in future? Should i just let him go?
I believe i need to be the one to talk this out. I know for sure he will never initiate a divorce cos he don't want to hurt me.
Should i just bear with all these?

 

[lpp]

Whatever you described in your post here is very very similar to mine. The bitch is a teacher living a double standard live, shameless! For your case, do you really think you can forget the whole matter and move on? I guarantee you can't because we are women with emotions and we struggle with insecurity issues when husband delays the idea of setting up a family. This insecurity feeling will always be a potential time bomb for any quarrel to trigger off. Nevertheless if you can really tolerate, then perhaps can monitor the situation till the time the other woman gets married at year end. Maybe by then, she will not be interested in your husband anymore. But having said all, you seriously need to have a good talk with him. Don't let him waste your youth away. Man can be very selfish. You never know what they are thinking and might just choose to walk out on you one day.

 

[clipperjunk]

you just became the 3rd party........apparently he's only accommodating you in the hope that you can somehow drift away because he's either too lazy or embarrass to call for a split......

 

[mum_of_2_girls]

Hi,

You were only married for 1 yr plus, do enjoy your newly-wed life before babies come.

You can discuss with your hubby that you wish to have babies before 35 yrs old.
As medical reports have showed more risks to both mother and baby when mother is above 35 yrs.

Don't worry about the other woman, with her wedding in a few mths time, she will be quite busy with her wedding and honeymoon.

And if your hubby is agreeable to have a baby with you.
He will be too preoccuppied with baby stuff to think about the woman.
Having a baby required a lot of preparation.
Put him in charge of the nursery set up and go baby things shopping with him.
Ask him to think of some baby names.

Go on dinner dates with his friends who have kids.
Let him bask in the happiness of his friend's happy family with kids.

If both parties are busy, the relationship will fade off as each party has begin a new journey with their respective partners.

So don't worry. Think positive.

 

[mum_of_2_girls]

If your hubby is not the sort who listens to the wife, then his friends will play an important part.

My hubby have 2 groups of friends, one group is the swinging clubbing bachelors and the other is the happy family daddies.

From time to time, I will suggest a gathering with his friends. We have a lot fun together and it strenghtens our relationship.

Obviously, you know which group of his friends I invited. His friends will inevitably influence his choice in life.

Be a happy devoted husband and father or Be a 2-timer, ending with a broken marriage. The choice will be quite obvious, isn't it?

 

[forgiving]

I have spoken to him many times about having babies, be it indirect or direct. Many times, I have to initiate sex. And more than often, I get rejected. Its like he is watching TV, while he switches channels, I start caressing him and leaning on him. Many times, he will push me away.
Just now thru his facebook, i checked on the gal. From all the photos and comments and such, they are already quite close at least for a year! Also, from her profile, her frens are telling her to move on cos she is saying things like she is heartbroken... her profile comment was something like "she did not mind the pain cos she know his feelings are genuine"... there were also comments from her frens asking her to move on and find another guy to start afresh. Apparently, their wedding is called off. Before today when my husband told me about this, i asked to see how she look like. There were still her photo album with her bf. Now, there isn't.
Losing her husband to be does not make her feel sad, she actually have the cheek to post comments related to MY HUSBAND! Does she want him to see how pathetic she is now?
It takes 2 hands to clap. For her to be so affected, my husband might have done alot for her.
What is affecting now is, am i really able to forget this incident and not bring it up? I am sure the gal will look him up again.

 

[infojunkie]

wif u, he owned up to his misbehaving and was promptly forgiven... wif her, he said to "Let nature take its course", and gets to keep the attraction up... whether he knows it or not, ur husband is definitely hving the upper hand... for now, he is sitting back and waiting for things to happen... not a bad move at all, what's urs?

see beyond the affair.

review ur relationship with this man and decide whether it is worth saving it… u need to think with clarity to reach a conclusion… btw, looks like he has a better grasp of the whole situation than u do, and he is not giving anything to u yet, that includes making babies wif u…

 

[lanetky]

I think u should really talk with ur husband...
Esp when there is a 3rd party involved.

 

[blueberrytea]

I agree. see beyond the 3rd party.

Is this the man whom you want to be with forever?
He can even push you away many a times when you initiated making babies.
I personally feel, it takes lots of courage from one party to do the initiation.

And even if he breaks clean with this 3rd party now, given the way he treated you, are you sure he will revert to what he was before being with this gal?

Are you sure even if the break is clean between the 2 of them, there won't be ANOTHER 3rd party that appears and rock the whole thing (like adding salt to wound).

if i were you, i will just cool off by not talking much to him. DO NOT move out of the house unless you want to invite the gal into the house to take over your place though (it's like a chance to be grabbed).

take this time to think carefully and thoroughly.

then make a step from there.

 

[mum_of_2_girls]

Hi,

From your post, it looks like your hubby is not receptive to what you say.

So you need to be subtle, don't pressure him, let him come to his own conclusion.

Since now is the school holidays, I'm sure his friend's family are not too busy.
And children love a party. So invite his friends' family for a gathering over the weekend.

Concentrate on having fun, play with the children. Show him subtlely, how having children in your life can be enriching and fun.

Even if your hubby doesn't play with the children, he will chat with his old buddies and his friends will be a positive influence.

Apparently, Actor James Lye decided to to have children after spending much time with his friends' young families.

 

[green_tranquility]

I beg to differ on the point of having baby to save the marriage.

I think ForgivingWife should fix the problems in the marriage first before they even consider for a baby. Who knows the hubby may still be heartless enough to leave her and baby? Because we can see that his heart isn't with ForgivingWife now.

 

[forgiving]

If i choose to feign ignorance and continue life as before, do you think my husband will continue to contact that gal?

 

[sgbabydoll]

Why do you want to do that? To achieve.....?

Kindness begets kindness. Well, yes, in some situations. But love isn't about repayment of kindness. So, this may not produce the desired results.

 

[infojunkie]

FW,

yes and no.

it depends on what's in his mind...

it doesn't hv to be this gal, there r so many out there...

how well do u know ur man?

bear in mind that ppl dun do things for no reason...

look within, then outside...

 

[andrewoy]

why let your hubby be in the upperhand? why wait for him to decide who to chose?

yes, humans make mistakes. he can be forgiven but that does not mean he can be given another chance & the choice is yours. you should decide instead...

like u said, it takes 2 hands to clap. so talk things out with your hubby & make sure he clap or u slap...

 

[bubble_tea123]

Hi Albee, can I send you a private message as I need your advice on my problem.

 

[ene]

No matter what you do, please do not try for a baby, hoping that it will help solve the underlying issue with your hubby. It will just complicate matters and the poor baby will be the innocent party.

It always takes 2 hands to clap so even if the other party tries ways and means to be close your husband but he refuses to give in, you won't be posting in this forum.

You definitely need a good talk with him to see what he wants. If he doesn't seem interested or don't dare to initiate a breakup, then you need to stand up and make that decision. You also need to decide if you want to be happy in a r/ship where your hubby is not 100% committed to you.

All the best.

 

[clipperjunk]

babies do not solve problems and rightly they shouldn't. if anything you'll be kept occupied and he will have a whale of a time outside....if he can be so open about it without remorse, it looks beyond repair and you should also consider a move away from him....

 

[miloice]

You should differentiate forgiveness and condoning his actions. These are different things. When u r willing to forgive him, it doesn't mean u r willing to continue the relationship with him. Forgiveness is about letting history pass and not holding onto it.

Your husband sounds like one that hasn't gotten the slightest idea of what he needs and wants. He is just going by the moment and letting things and events to decide for him. OR AT LEAST... he is shifting the entire blame away from himself and saying its all situational.

Do think seriously about the entire thing. Do u even see a future in him?

 

[miumiu_lynn]

with your r/p being so unstable the last thing u shld do is to get pregnant
pls dont ruin an innocent's life...

its most impt to sort out the issues u have now...
rekindle what both of u like to do, go for dates, reminicise, communicate etc...
take it easy and avoid stress..
if it doesnt work out then remind him on the opp cost - ie financial he will need to part with.....

 

[tomasulu]

doesn't sound like your husband wanted to be forgiven. perhaps he finds it hard to pull the trigger on the marriage. and i am sure his other chick, having dumped her fiance, is pressuring him for a quid pro quo. him telling you may be his way of chickening out on the dilemma. and you taking the high road by "forgiving" him is possibly the worst reaction for the both of you.

 

[mum_of_2_girls]

Hi,

It seems like you would like to try your best to salvage your marriage. So try to be positive.

You are not alone in this. You have the support of both his and your family members and friends because you are his wife and she is the mistress.

Make sure he comes back to a home filled with love and warmth. Dress well. Radiate happiness, don't talk about any stressful to him.

Organise outings with his friends and family members. Whatever you do, try to be subtle and natural, if not, he will think you are pathethic.

Impt : Don't tell his or your parents about this yet. If not, his parents will nag at him and he will be unhappy with you.
Don't look up and quarrel with the other woman, if not, the woman can play herself to be a victim.

No girl will like to be a mistress forever.
Inevitably, the other woman will pressure your hubby to divorce you , nag and quarrel with him.
After sometime, your hubby will prefer to be with you than her. The relationship will fade off.

You play the part of an angel and let the other woman play the part of the insecure, crazy woman.
So guess who your hubby will choose in the end?

 

[chrisnil]

hi, this might be useful to some of u here;

How To Cope When You've Learned Your Spouse Is Unfaithful
________________________________________
You just realized that your spouse has been unfaithful and cheated on you. The news of the infidelity has hit you like a ton of bricks. You have hope that your marriage can survive your spouse cheating on you. But you still fill sick inside when you think about the affair. Here's what you can do to get beyond the hurt, forgive your unfaithful spouse, and save your marriage.

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Long Time
Here's How:
1. Don't make any major decisions about ending your marriage now just because your spouse has been unfaithful. This is the time to do some reflection on your marriage to see what other issues other than this infidelity need to be recognized and dealt with.
2. Feelings are neither right or wrong. Accept that your feelings of rage, uncertainty, shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression and confusion about having an unfaithful spouse are normal.
3. Take care of yourself. You may have some physical reactions to the infidelity such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems (too little or too much), shakiness, difficulting concentrating and not wanting to eat or binge eating.
4. Balance is the key to getting through this experience of coping with infidelity. Force yourself to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water and to have some fun.
1. It's okay and healthy to laugh. Watch some funny movies or TV shows. Spend some time with people who make you smile. Life goes on in spite of heartache and unfaithful spouses.
2. Tears are healthy too. If they aren't coming naturally, put on some blues type music or watch a sad movie.
3. Begin a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings about your spouse's unfaithfulness.
4. Ask all the questions you want.Talk with your spouse about the infidelity. However, you may have to accept that your spouse may not know why the infidelity took place.
5. Seek counseling. Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone.
6. Take it one day at a time. Both you and your spouse should be tested for AIDS/HIVS and STD's before you resume sexual intimacy without protection.
7. Your children need to know that you are going to be okay. You can't hide the fact that you are going through a trauma. Be honest with your children, but don't weigh them down with details about how your spouse cheated on you. Don't make promises that you can't keep.
8. Try not to get into the blaming game over who or what caused the infidelity. It's just wasted energy. That includes blaming the third party. It won't change anything.
9. You may have post-traumatic stress. If you are jumpy, yell at trivial actions, feel like you are walking on egg shells, and continue to have physical reactions when you are reminded of the infidelity, see a physician as soon as you can.
10. It takes time to get beyond the pain of having an unfaithful mate. Don't expect the mixture of feelings, the sense of confusion and limbo, and the mistrust to go away just because you've tried to forgive your spouse and made a commitment to save your marriage.
11. Get practical. Look at your finances, housing situation, transportation, etc. If you do decide to end your marriage, make sure you have thought out where you will live, if you have enough money to pay for your essentials, etc.
12. Tips:
1. There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the marriage, it could relate to something in your spouse's past. You may never truly know why it happened.
2. Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it easier. Was it a one-night stand or an affair? Due to a mid-life or life crisis? A sexual addiction or an act of retaliation? Did the cheating occur to end the marriage?
3. Remember that your marriage has changed. You will need to grieve that loss.
4. The stages of death and dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) are part of the grieving process. It doesn't mean your marriage can't be renewed and strengthened, because it can. But it will be different.
5. Think twice before you tell your family or your spouse's family about the infidelity. Family members can often hold grudges a long time.
What You Need:
• Sleep
• Healthy diet
• Exercise
• Drink plenty of water
• Laughter
• Time
• Willingness to Forgive

 

[chrisnil]

hi ForgivingWife,bubble tea and LPP. If u want someone to talk to and to share your problems, pm me. I have gone thru a lot cos of the problem with my ex. feel free to drop me a mail anytime.

 

[seb1816]

forgiving him is 1 thing... repentance is another.

i urge you, not to hurry for a kid at this stage of the relationship... it will make things worse.

 

[lovingyou]

It is always a little harder for someone to pull away from a r/s once emotions are involved. I'm sure the lady will continue to contact your hubby and as for if the contacts evolves into a friendship or another r/s issues, the crucial factor lies with the guy counterpart.

But I agree with Seb, never rush for a child at this point in time. Children are innocent, at the same time, they are also the ones who are hurt the most if a r/s took a worse turn.

 

[juggler]

Hi Forgiving Wife,

You still love your husband, that's why it hurts like hell. You are desperate to salvage your marriage by initiating sex and want a baby so badly. Try your best NOT to get emotional (damn damn hard - I've gone through it!!!!). You should back off - Act indifferent to everything at home. Remember what you were like, the same, confident happy self before you found out about the infidelity. Give your husband time (I know it's difficult when you want his answers to your thousands of 'whys' he did it, etc. etc. Let him figure for himself that that woman is a clingy, whiny person who cannot function without a man, and see for himself that he cannot imagine a future with her. Let him have time to reflect on what he saw in you and reasons for wanting to marry you. Don't even try to initiate sex. He's not ready. Having a baby will only harm your marriage even more at this point in time. He may resent you further. You will feel worse because of your effort and sacrifice to have a child with him. Your child will ultimately suffer in a family like that!!! Your husband may be feeling guilty towards you or her too that's why he's not interested in sex. You should be worried if he makes love to you so easily!!

Be polite and calm whenever he's around. By screaming and shedding tears, he will feel a need to escape from you - whose arms do you think he'll go to? Obviously to that poor lady whom he sympathises with. This is the crucial stage. He will have a strong desire to want to help her as he thinks you are independent and capable enough to hold the fort. His heart will naturally go out to her.

Do find time soon to sit down with him, maybe in a neutral place away from home, and discuss things calmly without raising your voice at him. I did just that. It took me 4 years for his constant betrayal before I decided to switch off, stay numb and talk to him in a calm manner. I asked if I could chat with him like a friend, how he was feeling and why he was feeling that way. I told him I felt hurt that all our years together and happy times just got washed away by his behaviour. I asked if what kind of future he wanted and if he wanted me or her and why, whether he felt that our marriage was worth protecting. It dawned on me that he had always loved and still loves me and our child. He needs a lot of help in cutting off all ties with that babylove woman, who was displaying possessive traits and wanting him to choose between her and our child. I asked him if God and Mother Mary could help him, if I could help him and how. I had overestimated my husband's strength in character and assumed he would stop his relationship with her. He couldn't because he said he was too deep into the relationship with her.

We are still trying to reconcile. I will continue to help him. I assure him through my actions that I want us to love each other like before. Let your husband have time to reflect and repent. He will appreciate your graciousness and will start to respect you better.

Ultimately your husband will have to decide for himself what he wants and that he has to face the consequences.

 

[juggler]

Thanks Albee,
I think your suggestions are great. Being more involved in the husband's life can help my marriage I suppose. He's told me he feels proud whenever he introduces me to his friends and colleagues.

 

[lovingyou]

Hi Juggler, ur advices really "wakes" people up.. *thumbs up for what you had done*.. Betrayals causes one of the most hurt.. and it really take a lot of courage to forgive the person. If the path to forgiveness is the chosen option, we must try our best to forget the unhappy incident so as to move on completely and to trust back our loves.

 

[courageseekerlivecom]

Hi Juggler, u have the something that is impossible in my dictionary. In process of helping ur hubby to come back, how do u conquer your jealousy, suspicion & doubt. how to help over such long periods??? love is selfish & possessive & cannot be shared. How can u achieve it???

 

[juggler]

I have a short fuse and am impatient. I had to eat humble pie many times and remind myself not to win every argument. So, so difficult! when I felt that he was such a jerk and continued betraying me like that. I hit him hard, cursed him, made sarcastic remarks..everything to get all my anger out. Of course went through all his belongings, checked his phone, etc. I made him delete everything from his email accounts and phone related to her. I explained that I needed him to do that to help me trust him again. He was reluctant at first but cooperated.

We've just returned from a short trip yesterday. Initially, it was awkward but as the hours passed, we relaxed and started enjoying each other's company again. It was just like the old days when we were dating. We even started kissing and touching each other again!

At the back of my mind, I am still a little worried and anxious, but I tell myself I have the upper hand compared with the other woman. She can do what she likes but my husband is mine. He knows I love him dearly. She will be a fool to continue to compete with me. Of course I get suspicious and speculate from time to time and will cry thinking about this and that. I have been trying to be a wife and good friend, now I leave everything else to God and to husband to sort out his life. It will take a long while to regain mY trust in him but I know I love him enough to want to protect him. Now it's al up to him if he loves me enough to want to cut off al ties with that woman and stay committed to this family. I suppose I'm taking each day as it comes. Wish me all the best.

 

[lovingyou]

Juggler, trips do improve relationships... in a almost stress-free environment, we will tend to treasure and re-look at our partners again.. I am sure your efforts and the love that you have for your husband will pays off. All the best!!

 

[ariebeth]

Hi Juggler, I really admire your patience and commitment to making your marraige work. Another woman in your shoes would probably scream and cry and point fingers and issue ultimatums...... the usual works. You, on the other hand, are backing right off. I think it is great that you're giving him his space to think for himself, rather than telling him what to do. I wish you all the best, and hope that things work out for you ^_^

 

[edmund2275]

Hi Juggler, Good that you r back on terms with your hubby. Jus a word of advise. Try not to be too possesive. Not many guys can take it. Trust me.

 

[juggler]

Hi New Life,

Interesting about your reminder not to be too possessive. My husband claimed that I had neglected him (we were married for 2 years and I had started my new job then and busy with household chores as we had no maid). That really hurt me because I was so busy and he the time to go out with another person and spend his time nf effort on her.

 

[toyisme]

money is not a problem, but the problem is no money.

maybe money is the issue.

 

[green_tranquility]

Juggler is what I called a smart woman who keeps her emotions in check.

Screaming non-stop at the guy to pressurise him to patch back with you will only push him towards the other woman's arms. An over-emotional woman is a scary woman to men. And do not go and badmouth him to the whole world, his family and friends.

 

[lovingyou]

A good lesson learnt.

 

[canbear]

ForgivingWife,

Your anonymous name is really apt. I can sense from the little you write that you are the forgiving sort.

I'm sorry to hear of your plight.Not sure if you will still read this post but here are my views:

1. Your husband loves the girl more than you.

2. Your husband is sad, doesn't want sex cos he regrets his marriage. He wishes he could be married to the gal instead of you. (I'm surprised you could ask why he doesn't want kids, etc etc. Isn't it obvious his heart is not with you?)

3. You cannot ignore this matter and will not have a fulfilling marriage as long as it lingers.

Your solution:

Pull him aside and have a serious talk with him. Tell him it's either you or her. Don't let him waste your time and make life miserable for you. Ask him to tell you truthfully why he married you. Was it out of convenience? If he really loves you, he must quit seeing the gal asap.

If ther is hope, bring that loving feeling back. Remind him to keep his testosterone levels in check. There are always better partners out there as we get to know more people. But that does not mean we must abadon our marriages. If he insists he doesn't want to talk about it, he needs to be castrated. Dump him.

Another way though I'm not sure the exact consequences, is to talk to the other woman yourself. I'm sure you know how to get her contact. Ask her why she is doing is and to get lost.

Why should you even bear with all these? Divorce can be painful. But staying with him now isn't any better. Your marriage has no love.

What he is doing now is no different from an extra-marital affair -- he has already admitted to you and you have all the evidence to convince yourself.

One important question you need to think also: Have you been too "soft" with him? You have forgiven him but what are the 2 of you doing to improve the relationship? Seems to me like he's taking that to mean you accept the other party!

Marriage seems like a strange thing. It seems not too long ago a couple was happy, planning their wedding, exchanging their vows, buying homes, etc. Then almost suddenly, the D word comes in. It's heart-breaking but that's life.

 

[lpp]

What would you do if your husband has been lying and finding excuses for his late nights in the past months and eventually you found out that he is actually having an affair with a woman whom you know? After that just walked out of you and left you in a lurch?

 

[happi_latte]

Forgiving wife :

I have the same experience as you. My ex husband also has affair with his female colleage who is attached as well. I can understand how you feel when you shared that your husband must have told her many things about both of you.

I decided to divorce cos I cant accept his attitudes. He told me he will not contact that lady again but I found out is not true and he has been lying.

You can forgive his wrong but like some says, you dun neccessary has to accept him continue to treat you like "shit" right ?

You are precious Forgiving Wife, just that it seems your hubby dun appreciate it. No point to keep a man by your side whose heart/mind not devoted to you. Tell yourself "is his lost to lose a good wife like you". Dun hold on to a man who does not love you.

Both of them ( hubby & the other woman) will reap what they chose to sow. Remember, there is really justice in this world. Leave it to the hand of the One Above.

Take care.

 

[princessliliput]

Hi All,

I've recently gone through adultery in my 6 month old marriage.

My husband admitted the affair, and to my utter disappointment and shock, he told me he couldn't end the relationship with the girl, as he had recently "saved" her emotionally, and would send her to "emotional" hell if he ended it there and then.

I chose to hang on, and for 2 long months i endured his lies, his going to and fro between me and the other woman. I even stooped low enought to wash clothes stained with her make up and drenched in her perfume.

The sad thing is, he only came back to me after i threatened divorce.

Forgivingwife, I know your pain and I can truly emphatize. My husband is back with me now, but not a day goes by where this doesn't haunt me. Unfortunately, I know too much about the other party and the things I know do little to help me heal.

Slow down, and think about yourself. Don't sacrifice your happiness for his. Don't be obligated to make the relationship work, because you have all right to happiness.

If you choose to stay, give yourself plenty of time to heal. Talk to your husband and be frank and honest about your thoughts and feelings. Tell him if he cannot deal with your requests, it would be better if you guys took a break from each other. Only then can you truly discover the strength of both your love.

Don't make the mistake I made. I am a complete mess now, and life has become empty. And despite all that, I have to put on a strong front for everyone and seem ok, including for my husband.

I hope you have the strength to pull through, and the wisdom to make the right decisions.

Take care dear.

 

[sgbabydoll]

"Don't make the mistake I made. I am a complete mess now, and life has become empty. And despite all that, I have to put on a strong front for everyone and seem ok, including for my husband."

Princessliliput, if you think that reconciliation with your husband is a mistake, why are you sticking to it?

 

[princessliliput]

Hi Doll,

perhaps I'd rather try than give up.

I wouldn't really call it a mistake. My husband has been great, sincere and sensitive to my feelings.

I guess I just need alot of time to overcome this obstable.

 

[sgbabydoll]

What is the obstacle?

 

[princessliliput]

doll: I guess it's more regaining confidence, trust as well as overcoming self doubt.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Slowly let go of the hurt you feel ok. Start all over again with your husband instead of picking up from where you guys have left off. Easier.

 

[princessliliput]

yeap! sometimes it's better to fall in love again!

Thanks dear..

 

[sgbabydoll]

Yep. Start a brand new chapter.

 

[its_fate]

Doll - I duno if me & U are thinking the same thing not???

Why is this lady still sticking with the hubby?? If this time threats to divorce "manage" to bring him back, then what come next??

Why must this lady put on a strong front infront of everyone?? And to tell people now the hubby is "great, sincere and sensitive to my feelings"....

I am getting blur........ Why put onself in a complete mess when onself has a chance to "choose" again???