Afraid to take wedding photos


New Member
Hi all, my first time posting here, need some advice on what I should do.

Before that, some background info.

As a kid (in fact till now), I always had low-esteem, and it all boils down to the fact that I have congenital ptosis (or in layman terms, droopy eyelid) for my right eye. I went for an op when I was young, and the doc tried to make both eyes are symmetrical as he could. But my right eye is still a whole load smaller than my left eye, it has a double eyelid while my left eye does not. If you look at me directly in the face, the difference is pretty obvious.

All these years, I have resorted to using my fringe to cover my smaller right eye, so that it wont be too obvious. I never liked taking close up photographs. Eye makeup doesnt seem to work for me. A few times in the past, I tried using eyeliner and mascara to cover the difference. But my right eye is very very sensitive and those times when i used eyeliner, my eye teared so badly. Have since forgo the idea of using eye makeup.

My SO never ever mentioned about my eyes before. I'm not sure if he is so blur that he really didnt notice, or just that he doesnt want to comment. But i must add here that all the photos that we have taken together before, have been photoshopped by me. I would make sure that either we dont take close up photo, or my smaller right eye has been photoshopped to make it look same size as the left. So maybe my SO is basing it on the photos, and doesnt think that I have one big one small eyes.

So now, I'm thinking of how I'm going to 'survive' the wedding shoot which is happening quite some time into the future. Usually wedding shots will include super close up shots for the couple right? Haiz. And I have no idea how my eye is going to handle the copious amount of eye makeup.

I'm contemplating going for eyelid surgery. But (1), even after the op, the doc cant guarantee perfect symmetry. (2) the op is pretty costly (3) how to go for the op without my SO knowing about it??? And he will def notice that i have done sth to my eye. My eye will swell for awhile after op.

Really need advice on what I shld do? Should I be telling my SO, 'hey look, my eyes are not unequal'??? I'm thinking that what he doesnt know/notice, lets just keep it that way and not rock the boat. Is there any makeup artist who has handled such case before? Sigh. wedding is supposed to be a happy occasion, but Im totally fearing it.


New Member

Very likely, I can say 99.9% that your SO has noticed that but he accepted you as you are irregardless of what you had mentioned since it's obvious like you said. He must have seen u for numerous times before he decided to get married to you right not to even realise your facial features?

However, he is sensitive enough not to point it out to you due to he might not want you to feel otherwise by it.

Anyway, you do not need to worry about the wedding photos. They also do photoshop for you if you like to remove your wrinkles, cover up the mole or whichever you ask them to. So, just go ahead and enjoy your shoot.

Do not feel inferior about anything and go to the drastic measure of undergoing the knife. Your SO love you for who you are.


New Member

Everyone has some imperfections in their physical appearance. I have yet heard, seen or known anyone that claims to be perfectly in shape and size.

I don't think your SO has failed to notice your eyes, unless you tell me each time you both go dating, is always to some poorly lit places.

It is really gentleman of him not to bring up this sensitive topic and have look beyond your physical appearance to make this major decision to marry you.

As for wedding photos, I just took mine in August. We don't have any close ups and it is not because we request for it. We have more side profiles photos than direct in the face. We even picked a few that couldn't see our faces clearly. But it was all done very naturally and the joy and bliss was shown in our faces.

What makes a good wedding photograph is not capturing the perfect physical appearance but rather the joy and emotions involved. Which can only be expressed by the couples themselves.

Just be yourself because that is who your SO loves.


Active Member
"I'm contemplating going for eyelid surgery"

Hi Candledreams, I fully agree with HBH's post that your SO has accepted your looks but has been sensitive enough not to ask you about it. However, you could consider the eyelid surgery to boost your confidence. Do it for yourself if you want.

By the way, no one has symmetrical features. Even beauties like Elizabeth Hurley is believed to have near-symmetrical (not fully symmetrical) features.

My nose doesn't really sit at the centre of my face or nicely between my two eyes. I used to feel it is obvious putting on glasses or sunnies. I used to have very puffy eyelids -- my left eye looked smaller than my right eye in frontal shot photos. The trick is not to take frontal shots!

My eyes are also wide sideways, and the space between the eyebrow and eyelid is not wide. The puffiness on my eyelids are very much reduced now and I use eye makeup to enhance my eyes. You can look for makeup that's suitable for your skin.


Hi candledreams,

I can sort of understand, as my eyes are also uneven (and obviously so). It also bugged me, especially when I took photos; you could immediately see that my left looks bigger. But honestly speaking, unevenly sized eyes aren't as uncommon as you think. My husband has unevenly sized eyes too (and they're different shapes, to boot! You can literally tell which eye is from which parent).

Like what Hei Bee Hiam has said, your SO has probably noticed but doesn't think of it as a big deal. At the very least it shows that he's not hung up on your looks!

With regards to the photo-taking, there are a couple of tips to taking photos to minimise the unevenness without photoshopping, which I've done myself. One is to take your photo from the side, such that the smaller eye is on the side that's closer to the camera--perspective will help create the illusion of evenly-sized eyes. I also use make-up to help even them out (I also avoid eyeliner but that's just because I suck at applying eyeliner, period). There are hypoallergenic brands available, so you might want to explore that.

You might also want to let your photographer know, so that s/he can choose what angles are best for shooting. They will also photoshop your pictures.

But most importantly, remember that no woman is perfect; in fact, most of us are far from it. And your SO chose you, over and above so many more girls (even-eyed and not). That says a lot, doesn't it? So to add on to what Hei Bee Hiam said, not only does your SO love you for who are, but you, too need to learn to love yourself, imperfections and all. Good luck, girl.


New Member
candledreams: sharing the same sentiments with the rest, your SO had accepted who u actually are. Sharing some of my personal experiences with you; I felt inferior when i was suffering from a serious complexion issue 1.5 yrs back as well. The whole face was alwys bleeding due to the bursting of the acne and imagine the scars I have on my face. Moroever, I had a gentic heart issue.. But my HB accepted me whole-heartedly.. As for the wedding photo-shooting, they have editing software as well... hence not so much worries on this factor and I am sure since both of you have looked upon each other as life-partners, dun allow such issues to affecting the r/s.


New Member
Dear All,

Thank you so much for your encouraging statements!! It really really means alot to me

I guess you all are right that my SO did notice about the difference, but just didnt point it out so as not to make me feel inferior/or just not bothered by the difference.

Usually I'm not too bothered by the difference myself, except when it comes to such situation (bridal shots and all), and when insensitive ppl just exclaim 'wah, how come ur eye one big one small ah'. It just totally ruins my day. I'm learning to love myself, trying hard in fact.

doll>> thanks for the makeup tips! And i agree, 'The trick is not to take frontal shots!' which i have been avoiding since dont-know-when.

sylphide >> thank you for photography tips! I shall try those tips
Wish that i can do photoshop in real life (sorry, occupational hazard). And I like your phrase 'And your SO chose you, over and above so many more girls (even-eyed and not).'


New Member
Just rest well and enjoy your photoshoot. Don't worry too much about it.

Next, my tips for photoshoot,

1)Bring slippers

2)Insect repellent

3)Wet Tissue

4)If driving, have an ice box in the boot with ice cold drinks

5)If friends going to tag along, provide them with cameras. They can help to capture more great shots than the photographer with one camera

6)Snacks, You probably don't have time to eat

7)Prior to the photography, recee on the places you like the shots to be taken. Save you more time on the actual day

8)Umbrella... Sun might be shining and ur make up might melt

9)Have enough rest the night before

10)Lastly, bring along the bright blissful smile


Active Member
When I had wedding photos done, I told my photog that I had fat arms, so he advised me to camouflage it with my veil and also avoid certain poses that would make the arms stand out. A lot of tricks one haha


New Member
Candle dreams :

I just want to say 3 things here :

1) dun worry about your look cos the make up artist will make sure u look ur best !!!!

2) Photoshoot will be fun cos the photographers will crack jokes to make u pp laugh and relaxed and is really a fun time. Trust ur photographer.

3) The ultimate photos , even if has problems, they can "fixed" it for you. Ultimately the photos will turn out to be very nice so no worries.

Have fun, relaxed and have confidence of yourself


candledreams: I wish there was photoshop in real life too! I'd liquify my fat tummy and arms and push them in, and healing brush my acne scars... heh heh heh but since there isn't, just have to live with it and make the best out of it!

Maybe one more thing to bring to the photoshoot, and that is a nice water spritz to freshen you and your SO up after long hours of photo-taking. I like using the Sephora Express facial spritz, it's a great refresher when I'm feeling sleepy and tired.


Well-Known Member
One thing, choose your photographer well.
Find someone you both can be really comfortable with and that you really like his/her portfolio. Then, its really having great fun while the photographer just snaps the most natural shots of both of u.

And don't worry, they are professionals and touching up is simple for them.

We went Hokkaido for honeymoon shortly after my wife recovered from chicken pox. I did all the photoshoot myself. No scars left. I even did some 'cosmetic surgery' for higher noses, brighter eyes and sharper faces