Affairs of heart :(

[Miserables_2015]

Hi All
Really wished that someone can advise me on this.
I am married and have a kid 5 and 7. My husband and me came a long way and finally got married to start a family. However, at birth of my 2 kids, we seemed busy with kids,work and our our private time. He immersed in gaming and my self in drama series.

I felt this was'nt right at the marriage seemed to have no communication. over the years I felt i need talk to him that is is not healthy at all. Numerous times I asked if he loved me and if he is still interested in marriage cos we are not behaving like what a married couple should be behaving. Other times, i even suggested going marriage counselling to improve our relationship.

Since my my elder kid is 3 years, we been sleeping in separately rooms as elder kid was very attached to him. I have stressed that for how long is he going to park himself in that room, it seemed he doesn't want to make effort to improve the situation.

I was very upset that every night my company are pillows and bolster. Life suks. we became detached totally doing our own things. I started using the social apps to keep myself occupied. I felt comforted with knowing new friends. I know clearly in social apps not many can be trusted but i have attained true friendships and comfort with my years in social apps. I was selective and wary of the social platform. No one knows where I stayed nor my real name. But the group of close friends have been really a great support when my husband travel or when he is occupied with his own activity.

My day came when I fell for a man who is from the social apps. It's a natural thingy and feeling for me and I have tried for months to hide and not letting him know. It was unbearable knowing I am married and I should not have any extra marital affairs that would shamed my name.

I have no control of how i felt. I went for a short trip and break with him and nothing really happened. (we had separate rooms booked). That trip he did not mentioned if he likes me neither did i mentioned anything.
It was a clean and enjoyable holiday. This man has no intention of taking advantage of me. I am grateful this person that I fell for was not a jerk.

Back in Singapore, we chatted and we knew of each other feelings and we know we could not control the feel we have for each other. We were in close intimate relationship when we meet again in Singapore. i have been living with guilt for more then half a year. But the little time i have with him I am contented (I need pick kids back to school after work).

He had mentioned to me he do not mind and wont want to make things difficult for me to ask for a status nor want me leave my family. We had serious talk and he said he will hold my hand till the day I die. I am older then him by at least 10 years. I know I am also selfish to hold him back as he has a great years ahead to meet other ladies out there. I told him he can leave I do not want to hold him back cos I cannot give him any future. I am bounded to my marriage and kids commitments. He understand and said there is no way else he would go to and it was me that gave him the motivation to work.
He will pick me up at mrt and pick me from mrt home on weekdays if he can. I have never doubt his love for me.

My husband quarrelled with me on other issues like kids and house thingy. When he gets angry he throw things and will pushed me. Monday he threw a beach chair towards my direction and hit my leg. My leg was fine but it was bruised. He came to my room and explained it was accident and he had wanted to throw the direction of the dining table. I feel it was not the case but I can only keep quiet. He further on add if I am not happy with him he can divorce me and give the kids to me. I know I have no means to want them as I can;t go through study work nor send them to school. Only he can do it. And i know clearly he will not give up custody of the kids (we had previous quarrels and he had mentioned before no way he will give up custody).

I need to stressed to readers that I have no attention to commit extra marital affairs. I had tried to to save my marriage and I know I cannot be 1 sided. I joined the social apps to past my time when he travels and when he is busy with his work or gaming. Last but not least, I had no intention to find a boyfriend or a lover in the social apps. To fall it is unexpected. When feelings come I cannot control it.

I asked my self who do I love. To the man of marriage I felt there wasn't anymore. To the man who may be very much younger than me, I loved him and I know he felt the same way. Age doesn't tear us apart. He had wanted to save more money so he is ready to provide for me if 1 day my marriage doesn't work. He had mentioned too that his place is my roof anytime.

I hope someone can at least advise me what is the next step I should do as it's killing me. I do not wish to be the one asking for a divorce cos he will confirmed I have another man and may stop me to have rights to see the children. In my heart, my children should be given the best. I can only give them their father who can best give them what they need. I don't drive and my earnings is not as much as him. I will not be fighting the custody of my children as I know they are in good hands but I want to keep my rights to be able to visit them. Is divorce my only choice now. I am messed up and really lost. Do I have to wait for him to give me the papers and wait if he is giving the paper to sign.

I would appreciate for all your best advise on this. I know some of you may hurl or even say I am not fit to be mother, I am taking all these... it's fine..I want to know whats my next step. I know I can't save the marriage because of kids anymore...

Thank you all.

Miserables

 

[Linus84]

Hi Miserable,

I'm not married neither am I very experience.
From your story I can identify several points:

Drifted apart
You and husband are Drifted apart.
You seems to making effort.
But your husband is reluctant to do so.
So your marriage seems to be unbearable

Social apps
I believed your initial intention was to kill some boring time. Although you took the extra cautious step by hiding your identity. But you still fall into temptation and started this r/s. Since you choose to go the trip with him shows that you already the intention to start.

Your children
Although you kept emphasising your husband may be a better provider than you. As his income is higher and own an vehicle. But deep down I don't think you really want your kids. I met many divorce mother who fought really hard with low income. But you are not even fighting.

Your BF
Seems like you and him are very in love.
But after all you guys just started.
Chances are thing may change in the near future. So being positive is good but also realistic.

My suggestion you should just divorce with your husband. Given that you have already met your boyfriend. Maybe you should be frank to yourself and also care lesser on what other see you.

Hope I have not offered you in anyway.

 

[Jacxyz]

Hello.

You mentioned that you and your husband has come a long way. If you still want to salvage this marriage... Perhaps instead of simply asking whether your husband is still interested in this marriage & seeking professional help immediately... you can have a good talk with your husband? find a day to go out on a date without the kids? since he's into gaming and you are into watching dramas, you might want to set a rule - no using of mobile phones when out on a date. Make things between the two of you special again.

Anyway... Honestly speaking... If you had no intention of having an extra marital affair, you would have steered clear of that guy whom you met using the app, once you realise you have developed some feelings for him. Why would you even go on an overseas trip with him?

You had a choice and you chose to fall into this temptation. I think you gotta be responsible for this decision you made instead of making it sound like it was beyond your control

I'm not judging you btw. I'm not in your position to know how ur marriage is like. I believe you must have struggled and probably feel bad about this affair. I just thought it's unfair to ur husband and kids when you shrink responsibility like that.

Love is not just a feeling ya. If I were you.. I will fix my marriage. All the best!

 

[Miserables_2015]

Thank you both for you advise - Linus and Jack. Yeah we came a long way which is why I been trying to fix it way before I went into social apps. I had offered if he wanna go for dates and parking the kids at in law place for an evening, many trys been made. I am just wondering why it this 1 sided. Since he was busy with work, side lines and gaming. I too busy with my drama ipad and social app.

Yes I tried not once talking and asking if he still want to marriage and if he loved me. He like brushed aside, every weekend is the family thingy (we meet his parents almost every Sats) not a couple hood thingy. Yes I always believed in working out first and never give up. But even asking him to return to our room is so difficult and always 1 sided. To me, if kids are his first priority then forget it we concentrate in our our doings. That is why I went to social apps to past time whenever he is off business trip. Social apps almost about 3 years in total, i have never wanting to find a man or fall because I know that I am a married woman and I cannot be having affairs.

Yes many a times I still hate myself. And yes it was a short overseas trip as I change on a new job and wanted a break and happens he also having his break. We joined for a short trip but nothing happened - was purely friendship as I know nothing come out of it. In age and status, we do not have any future.

It started only when we returned to Singapore thereafter that we truly expressed how we felt. Both were trying to keep how we felt. We know it was wrong. he never wanted me to leave my family. he knows it's my commitment and responsibility and I should never shrink it. Its more then 6 months, and I know my husband and me are just getting life as per normal. I know I am staying in this marriage because of the kids. To him, I am just a maid at home not a wife. He also passes sarcastic remarks most of the times saying I am stupid and useless infront of the kids, sometimes i felt so miserable and sad not with him saying me - it;s how my kids thought of me. I always cry in my pillows because of this. Therefore I told myself in any case if there should be a failed marriage that lead to a divorce, I cannot let him know I have an affair outside cos he may stop my rights from seeing my children.

He had mentioned to me before in the early years should there be a divorce, he will fight till he get the kids. no matter what. Its not I shrink responsibility, I don't have the money to fight with him and I also know clearly that they will be good hands with their dad. My in laws it's his best support as my mum is not in good health.

I would like to know too in any case if there is a divorce, and if he knows I had an affair can he stop me from seeing my child.

And yes, he did it again, yesterday he treated like nothing happen again since our last big quarrel on Tuesday when he threw a chair at me.

I am as my nick very miserable.

 

[verysadguy]

Under WC, custody of kids are normally given to mum unless you do not want or there are special circumstances. If you are able to take care of your kids as a single parent, you hold the upper hand as compare to father so there is nothing to worry about not been able to see your kids since they are most of the time with you.

 

[Miserables_2015]

Hi very sad guy
My children are more attached to my husband even though he travels. Now that he has changed to a new job he is mostly in town that gives them more time together. I have chores like house work preparation of clothes for school etc. That explains he have more time with them.

What i need knoe is under wc will i be granted to see the child if i am caught for infidelity. As I said I do not want to be the one asking for Divorce. If one day he knows and asked for I am afraid I may loose my rights to see my children.

I need not my kids to look after me when old but his dad has expectation they should. Knowing very clearly they are surely in good hands with my husband, I will not fight the custody. All I am asking is to see them into their adulthood.

Now I lived as days go by. My husband always treated like nothing happened the next day. Big quarrels came and next day its nothing. To date there was no efforts to change despite my constant reminder to make efforts for couplehood and time together. His life is Children n work.

Thank you all for you advise. I appreciate greatly.

 

[verysadguy]

I'm not sure what you mean by infidelity here. Assuming the judge grants a joint custody, the parents are supposed to look after the kids till they are 21. So after divorce and you have other men outside, under the law, you can still see your child. They are separate issues altogether.

The only problem is if you are granted alimony, when you married another guy after divorce, your ex-hubby can don't pay the alimony any more.

 

[Miserables_2015]

Hi very sad guy
I mean if he asked for Divorce. I will not asked for joint custody but want to see my children. I dunno how this work, can i say that? I grant him rights to decide for my children till 21. I want my rights to see them.

He has mentioned b4 he will fight for full custody of them and fight till he can. I have no money to go thru all these fights.

If you have read my first post i have already fallen and done wrong. Feelings are hard to control.

 

[verysadguy]

Hi very sad guy
I mean if he asked for Divorce. I will not asked for joint custody but want to see my children. I dunno how this work, can i say that? I grant him rights to decide for my children till 21. I want my rights to see them.

He has mentioned b4 he will fight for full custody of them and fight till he can. I have no money to go thru all these fights.

If you have read my first post i have already fallen and done wrong. Feelings are hard to control.

you mean give him full custody of the children? If it is the case, legally, he can forbid you to see them and you have no legal recourse. But let me tell you, in 99.9% of the case, judge would grant joint custody instead of sole custody. Our law sides with the women. If you are a foreigner whom I think you are, the judge would side with the woman so you can don't need to worry about his threat on fighting for full custody. It is not possible in SG unless you are mentally ill and got violent tendency of killing your children.

 

[Miserables_2015]

Hi very sad guy

I dunno abt wc. Pai seh.
I am a sporean. Lol.
Then i want joint. I assumed he wan fight full u see..

 

[verysadguy]

Hi very sad guy

I dunno abt wc. Pai seh.
I am a sporean. Lol.
Then i want joint. I assumed he wan fight full u see..

It would be joint custody. Judge would not grant sole custody to any one of the parents unless that parent really got something wrong like mental illness, violent tendency. No matter how much money he has, it is always the case. what you need to do is just to write in the writ of divorce that you want joint custody of the children.

 

[KopiO666]

Hi All
Really wished that someone can advise me on this.
I am married and have a kid 5 and 7. My husband and me came a long way and finally got married to start a family. However, at birth of my 2 kids, we seemed busy with kids,work and our our private time. He immersed in gaming and my self in drama series.

I felt this was'nt right at the marriage seemed to have no communication. over the years I felt i need talk to him that is is not healthy at all. Numerous times I asked if he loved me and if he is still interested in marriage cos we are not behaving like what a married couple should be behaving. Other times, i even suggested going marriage counselling to improve our relationship.

Since my my elder kid is 3 years, we been sleeping in separately rooms as elder kid was very attached to him. I have stressed that for how long is he going to park himself in that room, it seemed he doesn't want to make effort to improve the situation.

I was very upset that every night my company are pillows and bolster. Life suks. we became detached totally doing our own things. I started using the social apps to keep myself occupied. I felt comforted with knowing new friends. I know clearly in social apps not many can be trusted but i have attained true friendships and comfort with my years in social apps. I was selective and wary of the social platform. No one knows where I stayed nor my real name. But the group of close friends have been really a great support when my husband travel or when he is occupied with his own activity.

My day came when I fell for a man who is from the social apps. It's a natural thingy and feeling for me and I have tried for months to hide and not letting him know. It was unbearable knowing I am married and I should not have any extra marital affairs that would shamed my name.

I have no control of how i felt. I went for a short trip and break with him and nothing really happened. (we had separate rooms booked). That trip he did not mentioned if he likes me neither did i mentioned anything.
It was a clean and enjoyable holiday. This man has no intention of taking advantage of me. I am grateful this person that I fell for was not a jerk.

Back in Singapore, we chatted and we knew of each other feelings and we know we could not control the feel we have for each other. We were in close intimate relationship when we meet again in Singapore. i have been living with guilt for more then half a year. But the little time i have with him I am contented (I need pick kids back to school after work).

He had mentioned to me he do not mind and wont want to make things difficult for me to ask for a status nor want me leave my family. We had serious talk and he said he will hold my hand till the day I die. I am older then him by at least 10 years. I know I am also selfish to hold him back as he has a great years ahead to meet other ladies out there. I told him he can leave I do not want to hold him back cos I cannot give him any future. I am bounded to my marriage and kids commitments. He understand and said there is no way else he would go to and it was me that gave him the motivation to work.
He will pick me up at mrt and pick me from mrt home on weekdays if he can. I have never doubt his love for me.

My husband quarrelled with me on other issues like kids and house thingy. When he gets angry he throw things and will pushed me. Monday he threw a beach chair towards my direction and hit my leg. My leg was fine but it was bruised. He came to my room and explained it was accident and he had wanted to throw the direction of the dining table. I feel it was not the case but I can only keep quiet. He further on add if I am not happy with him he can divorce me and give the kids to me. I know I have no means to want them as I can;t go through study work nor send them to school. Only he can do it. And i know clearly he will not give up custody of the kids (we had previous quarrels and he had mentioned before no way he will give up custody).

I need to stressed to readers that I have no attention to commit extra marital affairs. I had tried to to save my marriage and I know I cannot be 1 sided. I joined the social apps to past my time when he travels and when he is busy with his work or gaming. Last but not least, I had no intention to find a boyfriend or a lover in the social apps. To fall it is unexpected. When feelings come I cannot control it.

I asked my self who do I love. To the man of marriage I felt there wasn't anymore. To the man who may be very much younger than me, I loved him and I know he felt the same way. Age doesn't tear us apart. He had wanted to save more money so he is ready to provide for me if 1 day my marriage doesn't work. He had mentioned too that his place is my roof anytime.

I hope someone can at least advise me what is the next step I should do as it's killing me. I do not wish to be the one asking for a divorce cos he will confirmed I have another man and may stop me to have rights to see the children. In my heart, my children should be given the best. I can only give them their father who can best give them what they need. I don't drive and my earnings is not as much as him. I will not be fighting the custody of my children as I know they are in good hands but I want to keep my rights to be able to visit them. Is divorce my only choice now. I am messed up and really lost. Do I have to wait for him to give me the papers and wait if he is giving the paper to sign.

I would appreciate for all your best advise on this. I know some of you may hurl or even say I am not fit to be mother, I am taking all these... it's fine..I want to know whats my next step. I know I can't save the marriage because of kids anymore...

Thank you all.

Miserables

Why is it that it seems as if you do not want to own custody of your own kids?

 

[Staypositive]

Thank you both for you advise - Linus and Jack. Yeah we came a long way which is why I been trying to fix it way before I went into social apps. I had offered if he wanna go for dates and parking the kids at in law place for an evening, many trys been made. I am just wondering why it this 1 sided. Since he was busy with work, side lines and gaming. I too busy with my drama ipad and social app.

Yes I tried not once talking and asking if he still want to marriage and if he loved me. He like brushed aside, every weekend is the family thingy (we meet his parents almost every Sats) not a couple hood thingy. Yes I always believed in working out first and never give up. But even asking him to return to our room is so difficult and always 1 sided. To me, if kids are his first priority then forget it we concentrate in our our doings. That is why I went to social apps to past time whenever he is off business trip. Social apps almost about 3 years in total, i have never wanting to find a man or fall because I know that I am a married woman and I cannot be having affairs.

Yes many a times I still hate myself. And yes it was a short overseas trip as I change on a new job and wanted a break and happens he also having his break. We joined for a short trip but nothing happened - was purely friendship as I know nothing come out of it. In age and status, we do not have any future.

It started only when we returned to Singapore thereafter that we truly expressed how we felt. Both were trying to keep how we felt. We know it was wrong. he never wanted me to leave my family. he knows it's my commitment and responsibility and I should never shrink it. Its more then 6 months, and I know my husband and me are just getting life as per normal. I know I am staying in this marriage because of the kids. To him, I am just a maid at home not a wife. He also passes sarcastic remarks most of the times saying I am stupid and useless infront of the kids, sometimes i felt so miserable and sad not with him saying me - it;s how my kids thought of me. I always cry in my pillows because of this. Therefore I told myself in any case if there should be a failed marriage that lead to a divorce, I cannot let him know I have an affair outside cos he may stop my rights from seeing my children.

He had mentioned to me before in the early years should there be a divorce, he will fight till he get the kids. no matter what. Its not I shrink responsibility, I don't have the money to fight with him and I also know clearly that they will be good hands with their dad. My in laws it's his best support as my mum is not in good health.

I would like to know too in any case if there is a divorce, and if he knows I had an affair can he stop me from seeing my child.

And yes, he did it again, yesterday he treated like nothing happen again since our last big quarrel on Tuesday when he threw a chair at me.

I am as my nick very miserable.

Your Husband have violent tendency,do take care.for your case,it would be better to seek professional help from a counsellor who can better advise you on ur situation.

 

[Miserables_2015]

Hi Kopi0666

Not I don't want. If you have read. he is in better position to take care of them. He drives and ferry them to school, he teaches them and send them to tuition classes. He has his parent to help take care when they finishes school. I I fight, I need have money to fight the case, cos he had mentioned before he will not let me have it. If Divorce do comes, I won't fight with him. It's processes and time and money. If I took and granted who ferry to school? i have no one to help me accept myself. Quit my job? Not possible. My husband is in sales his time is flexi and I am in administration job.

I never want give up - I need have money and means to take care IF NOT i would want them in better hands.

I wan to have at least 1 kid and again I know this is not possible - he mentioned b4 no way he let both sis bro separate as there will not be bonding between them.

Thank you for your post.

Hi Staypositive,

not sure but this does not happen the first time - only when he is angry. I have complained to his mum and his mum informed him not to touch me or he can go jail. I also warned him the next time he touch me - I will go to the police. Each time I did not. Cos the children needs him. He said to me the children no need me too. He needs only a maid.
I am not sure if he says this in anger but numerous times he always told the kids I am useless and stupid.

I went into social apps to past times and not think of uphappy things. I met great friends and found HIM. I am a woman I need love and concern as well not just my kids. I have tried numerous times to make things work but he did not put in effort. I told my self be it..3 years in social apps I have found solace and at least there is a HE that appreciates me.

I want to move on but I cannot be the one asking for Divorce but he treats like it's a brand new day and I know the day will never come.

Thanks very much for your post.

 

[foolishguy]

You talk about how the guy that you knew thru using social app appreciates you...you talk about how he made you feel loved and feeling all good..in short you only talked about how you are feeling...your emotions..

Have you thought about your husband feelings? He might not be showing any more love towards you (men might be indifferent on the outside but actually alot might be on his mind)I did love my wife alot even though I was doing the mundane things like paying the bills and expenses, always worried about not enough money for our future. I used to be adventurous and outgoing, after married. All i could think about is having enough money to build my family. I became a boring family man so on hindsight, my wife find me a changed man, not romantic anymore, not much overseas trip, gifts was always not enough...etc.. and the quarrels started.

Have you thought about your kids? How will they turn out without a mother by their side? you said that they are more attached to the father, that naturally means your husband is focusing more on them. You have no financial means to take care of the kids so you say you rather leave them to the care of your husband.

If lets say after divorce and coupled with the costs of upbringing the 2 kids, do you think he can have another shot of getting married? You are loading him with ALL the costs of the kids upbringing just because you say you are earning lower. Is it fair to him?

By commiting infidelity in marriage, no matter how many excuses you give to yourself or him. You have already hurt him deeply even though he have no idea of it yet.

Just for info, my ex-wife left me also by saying alot of excuses...long story short, in the end she have also split up with the other guy. All these emotions, feelings, I'm sure you will have feel it at the beginning of your relationship with your husband, just that it faded away.

All feelings will fade someday. Just so you know. The strong love you felt for the other guy now will most definitely fade away someday. Relationship failed because either partner give up trying or staying comitted. You can keep on chasing the 'feelings' you want. Worth it or not...only you can answer it. Looks like you have already decided.

 

[Miserables_2015]

Hi foolish guy

Thanks for commenting. You seemed more worked up then me.

I did not want throw them to. Read again. I stated in a case of Divorce he will do all he can to have the children.

If you read again i have tried numerous times over the years to make things work. The gifts have decreased yes.. i never asked for gifts all the time.

To add I also know i don't expect him to be romantic or sending me presents. I asked of him for couple time suggesting just 2 of us dating without the kids. All my suggestions was rejected. The next day he treated like nothing happened.

If he would have hear and changed I dont think i run into social apps. My concentration was to make my marriage works over the years. But if just 1 sided why am i enduring all these.

Yes infidility I am in wrong. But when relationship fails its never 1 sided. The day he knoes i had a man will be the day he awaken why this had happened.

My man outside have told me he do not care how we looked at how his family looked at. All he wants is me. That is the love i got. His actions and assurance it id hard to pen down. He said when i am crinkled and greyed he will still hold me hand. He said our relation isnt about sex all the time.

Your case may be abit diff so I am sorry it cannot be compared to mine case.

 

[Infernolord]

Hi foolish guy

Thanks for commenting. You seemed more worked up then me.

I did not want throw them to. Read again. I stated in a case of Divorce he will do all he can to have the children.

If you read again i have tried numerous times over the years to make things work. The gifts have decreased yes.. i never asked for gifts all the time.

To add I also know i don't expect him to be romantic or sending me presents. I asked of him for couple time suggesting just 2 of us dating without the kids. All my suggestions was rejected. The next day he treated like nothing happened.

If he would have hear and changed I dont think i run into social apps. My concentration was to make my marriage works over the years. But if just 1 sided why am i enduring all these.

Yes infidility I am in wrong. But when relationship fails its never 1 sided. The day he knoes i had a man will be the day he awaken why this had happened.

My man outside have told me he do not care how we looked at how his family looked at. All he wants is me. That is the love i got. His actions and assurance it id hard to pen down. He said when i am crinkled and greyed he will still hold me hand. He said our relation isnt about sex all the time.

Your case may be abit diff so I am sorry it cannot be compared to mine case.

He is not worked up. He trying to talk some senses into you.
Honestly speaking, your hubby is working hard for this family. I can see he is also a loving dad, father. I do feel he is responsible to his family.

Put this in your own shoes. If you happened to be working hard to finance your family. You dun feel like intimate with your hubby. You hv to work on house chores, kids. Your hubby have a affair and he blame you for that. ... (this is bullshit right?? )

On the other hand, knowing you are married with kids. This young chap say wadever sweet thing he can just to bed you . We as guys will always sugar coat our words to coax a ger we interested. (u only know him for 6mths how much u know him enough??) From a guy perspective, i wont trust you if you dump your family for me. But i will love to keep you around cos i hv nothing to lose. Words are just words. And how my family will view you, a cheater, lier. A wife who ditch her family for me. I am young and you are getting older... Will you still be attractive in a few more years to come? One more thing to add, guys are hunter.. there are guys out there who like to take it slowly... Doesnt mean he went trip with you and doing nothing means he is a gd guy... He is baiting you.. and he succeeded.

Once again think twice on how to reach out to your hubby about your problem. (his family and friends). Try talk it out in a different way, ask him is he over work or stress up. What can you do to help him.. dun complain on wad u feel. Understand his situation, why he is acting this way. Rather thinking of yourself how miserable you are. You are making ppl who love you more miserable.e (your kids and the man that done you no wrong over the past 10 over years!!!)
how ppl look at you.

I am sorry for being blunt. Just to let you know wad a normal guy would do and think. (Dont be naive)

 

[newproject]

Hi foolish guy

Thanks for commenting. You seemed more worked up then me.

Here's a tip, foolishguy, sadguy, infernolord all suffered at hands of wives/gf so they aren't very objective when they hear about woman cheating. Don't take it personally.

 

[newproject]

Sorry i dont buy your story. You know you are a cheater right?

No matter what the circumstances you cheated and you are wrong. No excuses.

If your relationship was so bad you should have asked for divorce first.

If positions reversed a guy say He cheated cos his wife did the things your husband did he would be roasted alive.

Frankly you sound like a horrible mother. You can squirm and make excusrs all you want but I can tell you rather your husband be the main one taking care of kids cos you are lazy (though you at least want to be part of their lives maybe see on weekends )

I mean the fact the kids are closer to the father is pretty unusualso guess already happening.

Probably he spends more time with them and focuaes on them while you "comfort" yourself with apps and going on overseas trips with strange man.

Wow you work admin job ..that's so tough your husband's sales jobs so much easier. Lol Trying doing sales and then you tell me is easy.

Go get a divorce , I bet you he already knows consciously or subconscious ly (you think he so dumb dont kniw you go all those trips )hence the anger and temper.

Already I see white knights jumping in say your husband abusive etc.

Sure use that as an excuse to divorce him. Maybe even bait him to hit you so you can call the cops on him. That way he can be unfit father and you get the kids

But like that later you get full custody that you don't want right? later too busy with kids no time for young boy toy or apps.

Joking. Seriously end your relationship if your worry is you will be 100% cut out of children lives it won't happen .

Is clear to me the husband will get main custody cos he wants it you can have visiting rights when you not too busy with your admin job and apps.

Everyone wins.

 

[foolishguy]

Here's a tip, foolishguy, sadguy, infernolord all suffered at hands of wives/gf so they aren't very objective when they hear about woman cheating. Don't take it personally.

Newproject, you are not wrong in saying that. I tend to be read about why people cheat nowadays...previously never really interested in it as I always have the thinking; "it won't happen to me.."

Miserables _2015, my apologies if you feel that I bring my msg across too harsh...

 

[newproject]

Newproject, you are not wrong in saying that. I tend to be read about why people cheat nowadays...previously never really interested in it as I always have the thinking; "it won't happen to me.."

Miserables _2015, my apologies if you feel that I bring my msg across too harsh...

Cheating is bad enough.

But I'm disgusted at how easily she seem to want to give up her kids for the guy to raise.

Oh poor me. I work admin job.. Earn less.

Hello single mums even worse off you raise kids !

You don't put your kids as priority but on lovers and apps of course no time.

People keep telling her the court here always favor mother's hugely unless the mother totally unfit (crazy, drug addict etc) but she seem to keep want to say no no she cannot win and just worry 100% cut out.

I'm pretty sure her desired outcome is the guy raise the kids she visits once in a while.



Sigh

 

[Staypositive]

Hi Kopi0666

Not I don't want. If you have read. he is in better position to take care of them. He drives and ferry them to school, he teaches them and send them to tuition classes. He has his parent to help take care when they finishes school. I I fight, I need have money to fight the case, cos he had mentioned before he will not let me have it. If Divorce do comes, I won't fight with him. It's processes and time and money. If I took and granted who ferry to school? i have no one to help me accept myself. Quit my job? Not possible. My husband is in sales his time is flexi and I am in administration job.

I never want give up - I need have money and means to take care IF NOT i would want them in better hands.

I wan to have at least 1 kid and again I know this is not possible - he mentioned b4 no way he let both sis bro separate as there will not be bonding between them.

Thank you for your post.

Hi Staypositive,

not sure but this does not happen the first time - only when he is angry. I have complained to his mum and his mum informed him not to touch me or he can go jail. I also warned him the next time he touch me - I will go to the police. Each time I did not. Cos the children needs him. He said to me the children no need me too. He needs only a maid.
I am not sure if he says this in anger but numerous times he always told the kids I am useless and stupid.

I went into social apps to past times and not think of uphappy things. I met great friends and found HIM. I am a woman I need love and concern as well not just my kids. I have tried numerous times to make things work but he did not put in effort. I told my self be it..3 years in social apps I have found solace and at least there is a HE that appreciates me.

I want to move on but I cannot be the one asking for Divorce but he treats like it's a brand new day and I know the day will never come.

Thanks very much for your post.

Dun give up custody of your children because of the obstacles u faced.those issues can be overcome if you are determined to fight for their custody rights.

 

[Infernolord]

Dun give up custody of your children because of the obstacles u faced.those issues can be overcome if you are determined to fight for their custody rights.

With all due respect, I not too sure if you ever heard or encountered rs issues before. I do believe you are a nice guy and have concerns to those who posted in the forum.
My understanding that you do not have much rs experiences and you are really trying to be nice..
May i understand what are you trying to prove by encouraging her to fight for custody ?

TS i hoped you sorted out your feelings and thinking logically on how to approach your hubby before things turn ugly.
Again my apologies for being harsh.. just to give you a realistic view. I might be wrong, I am active in social apps and dated many gers from app as well. I know how the guys think and work. Unfortunately i also met the same kind of gers from the apps and fall into this vicious cycle many times.

I am single, unlike you. You have commitments and promises. For a guy, you going to break all apart. is it worth. Is your hubby really that lousy ? U are in a very vulnerable state (Marriage on the rock) when you go to social app. And honestly speaking, you are just the kind of ger, a player will prey on.

 

[KopiO666]

Hi Kopi0666

Not I don't want. If you have read. he is in better position to take care of them. He drives and ferry them to school, he teaches them and send them to tuition classes. He has his parent to help take care when they finishes school. I I fight, I need have money to fight the case, cos he had mentioned before he will not let me have it. If Divorce do comes, I won't fight with him. It's processes and time and money. If I took and granted who ferry to school? i have no one to help me accept myself. Quit my job? Not possible. My husband is in sales his time is flexi and I am in administration job.

I never want give up - I need have money and means to take care IF NOT i would want them in better hands.

I wan to have at least 1 kid and again I know this is not possible - he mentioned b4 no way he let both sis bro separate as there will not be bonding between them.

Thank you for your post.

Hi Staypositive,

not sure but this does not happen the first time - only when he is angry. I have complained to his mum and his mum informed him not to touch me or he can go jail. I also warned him the next time he touch me - I will go to the police. Each time I did not. Cos the children needs him. He said to me the children no need me too. He needs only a maid.
I am not sure if he says this in anger but numerous times he always told the kids I am useless and stupid.

I went into social apps to past times and not think of uphappy things. I met great friends and found HIM. I am a woman I need love and concern as well not just my kids. I have tried numerous times to make things work but he did not put in effort. I told my self be it..3 years in social apps I have found solace and at least there is a HE that appreciates me.

I want to move on but I cannot be the one asking for Divorce but he treats like it's a brand new day and I know the day will never come.

Thanks very much for your post.

Omfg seriously, money matters can be overcome. I am a single mum myself too . As a mum I will never give up custody of my kid. But then again I know your worries are money issues. I really suggest the best solution now is to seat down and have a mature talk with your husband. Compromise is the key to everything for the sake of your kids. Your kids are innocent.

 

[buddhabar]

If you have not met HIM and went on a trip with HIM. What are your thoughts today? Would you be admant on divorce? Would you give up your children for a divore? How much have HIM affected your mindset? I am divorced with 2 kids. Never before prior and post of my failed marriage have I ever thought of giving up my children no matter what's coming my way. Frankly, you come across as a denial who is somewhat seeking affirmation on your part. Of course, we only know half the story.

 

[Staypositive]

With all due respect, I not too sure if you ever heard or encountered rs issues before. I do believe you are a nice guy and have concerns to those who posted in the forum.
My understanding that you do not have much rs experiences and you are really trying to be nice..
May i understand what are you trying to prove by encouraging her to fight for custody ?

TS i hoped you sorted out your feelings and thinking logically on how to approach your hubby before things turn ugly.
Again my apologies for being harsh.. just to give you a realistic view. I might be wrong, I am active in social apps and dated many gers from app as well. I know how the guys think and work. Unfortunately i also met the same kind of gers from the apps and fall into this vicious cycle many times.

I am single, unlike you. You have commitments and promises. For a guy, you going to break all apart. is it worth. Is your hubby really that lousy ? U are in a very vulnerable state (Marriage on the rock) when you go to social app. And honestly speaking, you are just the kind of ger, a player will prey on.

Hi infernolord, she was saying that she is worried that she might never get to see her children again should her Husband get full custody.moreover,her husband seems to have violent tendencies.hence,it would be safer to stay with the mum.just my two cents worth of opinion.

 

[newproject]

Omfg seriously, money matters can be overcome. I am a single mum myself too . As a mum I will never give up custody of my kid. But then again I know your worries are money issues.

Amazing right? Hats off to you Kopi.

That's why I say which mother won't fight for their kids no matter how hard?

That's why I am so disgusted by the woman here.

We talking about a rare mother here who more into enjoying her own life than her kids .

 

[newproject]

Hi infernolord, she was saying that she is worried that she might never get to see her children again should her Husband get full custody.moreover,her husband seems to have violent tendencies.hence,it would be safer to stay with the mum.just my two cents worth of opinion.

I agree with inferno Lord you really need to learn to read between the lines.

Every post is the girl just talking about her needs, her wants.

When she does mention kids is all about

1. She too busy, not rich enough to take care of kids and hence husband should take main care.

2. She hope husband let her see kids sometimes..

Even when people keep reassuring her that the court favors woman she still die die say kids better with husband..

Sigh, I think kids much better with a parent that actually wants them.

The whole "abusive thing" I take with pinch of salt lah.. This is a CHEATER trying to make the story sound less bad for her.

 

[Staypositive]

I agree with inferno Lord you really need to learn to read between the lines.

Every post is the girl just talking about her needs, her wants.

When she does mention kids is all about

1. She too busy, not rich enough to take care of kids and hence husband should take main care.

2. She hope husband let her see kids sometimes..

Even when people keep reassuring her that the court favors woman she still die die say kids better with husband..

Sigh, I think kids much better with a parent that actually wants them.

The whole "abusive thing" I take with pinch of salt lah.. This is a CHEATER trying to make the story sound less bad for her.

I'm not condoning her actions.by telling her to fight for custody it's becos i dun want her to give up on her kids.anyway who are we to judge ?we dun know what is really happening to their marriage.it takes two hands to clap.what the husband character and behavior is like,we dun really know.who knows,the husband might cheat on her behind her back,that's why the cold treatment at home.the thing now is whether they could still salvage the marriage and to protect the kids interests as far as possible.blaming and waging a reprimanding finger would not help matters.I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions abt matters and there is no clear cut right or wrong.

 

[KopiO666]

Hi Kopi0666

Not I don't want. If you have read. he is in better position to take care of them. He drives and ferry them to school, he teaches them and send them to tuition classes. He has his parent to help take care when they finishes school. I I fight, I need have money to fight the case, cos he had mentioned before he will not let me have it. If Divorce do comes, I won't fight with him. It's processes and time and money. If I took and granted who ferry to school? i have no one to help me accept myself. Quit my job? Not possible. My husband is in sales his time is flexi and I am in administration job.

I never want give up - I need have money and means to take care IF NOT i would want them in better hands.

I wan to have at least 1 kid and again I know this is not possible - he mentioned b4 no way he let both sis bro separate as there will not be bonding between them.

Thank you for your post.

Hi Staypositive,

not sure but this does not happen the first time - only when he is angry. I have complained to his mum and his mum informed him not to touch me or he can go jail. I also warned him the next time he touch me - I will go to the police. Each time I did not. Cos the children needs him. He said to me the children no need me too. He needs only a maid.
I am not sure if he says this in anger but numerous times he always told the kids I am useless and stupid.

I went into social apps to past times and not think of uphappy things. I met great friends and found HIM. I am a woman I need love and concern as well not just my kids. I have tried numerous times to make things work but he did not put in effort. I told my self be it..3 years in social apps I have found solace and at least there is a HE that appreciates me.

I want to move on but I cannot be the one asking for Divorce but he treats like it's a brand new day and I know the day will never come.

Thanks very much for your post.

This young lover of yours is how old ah? You see ah, I have met different kinds of men before and I know they all have one thing in common. You should know la hor. Ok I know now you are crazy head over heels him n also I assume you wana start a brand new life with him? Think about it. If he so call really love you he would also accept your kids too si boh? And I know you love your kids too so if he really love you he would help you through this tough times pertaining to the custody of your kids be it financially or emotionally. I kinda agree with some of the men who responded to your post. Yes they are rite. Some men will really sugar coat anything just to bed you or play around with you and also they are kinda rite he really has nothing to lose at all. You see some men has a fetish for married woman and he finds it challenging if he manage to get you . Its a kinda fetish you see lOl. Most importantly, for the sake of your kids, I suggest you to talk to your husband with no shouting or screaming involve. If really buay sai then I suggest you get a family member of yours to speak to him. I believe he would be willing to compromise for the sake of your kids too. Remember , your kids are innocent. As a woman myself, I have an advice for you. Try not to be so gullible when it comes to love babe

 

[newproject]

I'm not condoning her actions.

Actually you are condoning because just further down you start blaming the guy with zero evidence.

we dun know what is really happening to their marriage.it takes two hands to clap.what the husband character and behavior is like,we dun really know.who knows,the husband might cheat on her behind her back,that's why the cold treatment at home.,

We know for a fact the woman is cheating. To say maybe the guy is cheating too is really the craziest case of blaming the victim.

The girl here is trying desperately to justify herself cheating to the point of claiming the guy is abusive if the guy might be cheating you think the woman won't say?

The far more likely reason the guy is cold is because he knows or suspects the girl is cheating that's why he is angry!

A husband who cheats on his wife will know he is not on the moral high ground and wont be angry usually. One who knows or suspects he is cheated on on the other hand...

From the girls own accounts the kids are closer to the father cos he spend more time with them. While the girl is happily "comforting" herself with dating apps and going on trips with new bf. From this you conclude the guy is maybe cheating??

Yes I told you to try read between lines but be reasonable lah.

More likely the guy devotes all his time to kids its the wife running around having affairs.

If I would guess the husband is a bit older than wife or for whatever reason after kids lost interest in sex.

The husband devotes himself to kids while the wife dissatisfied with lack of sex.

So the wife strays while the husband devotes himself to kids.

Its a little unusual because its usually gender swapped.

the thing now is whether they could still salvage the marriage and to protect the kids interests as far as possible.blaming and waging a reprimanding finger would not help matters.

Nonsense. You just coddle her because she's a woman. If is a man cheating I see whether you will bash him or not.

Its important to let her know she is wrong, otherwise even if she get together with next guy, what if happens again?

i believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions abt matters and there is no clear cut right or wrong.

Disagree . cheating is wrong.

 

[newproject]

This young lover of yours is how old ah? You see ah, I have met different kinds of men before and I know they all have one thing in common. You should know la hor. Ok I know now you are crazy head over heels him n also I assume you wana start a brand new life with him? Think about it. If he so call really love you he would also accept your kids too si boh? And I know you love your kids too so if he really love you he would help you through this tough times pertaining to the custody of your kids be it financially or emotionally. I kinda agree with some of the men who responded to your post. Yes they are rite. Some men will really sugar coat anything just to bed you or play around with you and also they are kinda rite he really has nothing to lose at all. You see some men has a fetish for married woman and he finds it challenging if he manage to get you . Its a kinda fetish you see lOl. Most importantly, for the sake of your kids, I suggest you to talk to your husband with no shouting or screaming involve. If really buay sai then I suggest you get a family member of yours to speak to him. I believe he would be willing to compromise for the sake of your kids too. Remember , your kids are innocent. As a woman myself, I have an advice for you. Try not to be so gullible when it comes to love babe

Good point about why the cheater keep acting like she forced to give the children custody to husband.

Maybe she afraid her new bf will not want it or she think too troublesome to share joint custody,taking care of kids means less time for bf.

Reading between lines her ideal scenario is the husband gets custody but she can see the kids maybe once a week ("so she can stay in their lives) she just worried cos husband threaten to cut her off 100%.

For sure she don't want share custody hence all the excuses.



TS here I think is unusual for a woman that appeals to her kids might not move her?

Most woman are mothers first, the moment they give birth their priorities switch they do anything for kids.

Our cheater here from her postings can tell her priority are her needs. She even say that kids not enough for her she need love.

In a way it's funny to see is the husband that act like a typical woman lose interest in sex etc and put kids #1 priority.

 

[Staypositive]

Actually you are condoning because just further down you start blaming the guy with zero evidence.



We know for a fact the woman is cheating. To say maybe the guy is cheating too is really the craziest case of blaming the victim.

The girl here is trying desperately to justify herself cheating to the point of claiming the guy is abusive if the guy might be cheating you think the woman won't say?

The far more likely reason the guy is cold is because he knows or suspects the girl is cheating that's why he is angry!

A husband who cheats on his wife will know he is not on the moral high ground and wont be angry usually. One who knows or suspects he is cheated on on the other hand...

From the girls own accounts the kids are closer to the father cos he spend more time with them. While the girl is happily "comforting" herself with dating apps and going on trips with new bf. From this you conclude the guy is maybe cheating??

Yes I told you to try read between lines but be reasonable lah.

More likely the guy devotes all his time to kids its the wife running around having affairs.

If I would guess the husband is a bit older than wife or for whatever reason after kids lost interest in sex.

The husband devotes himself to kids while the wife dissatisfied with lack of sex.

So the wife strays while the husband devotes himself to kids.

Its a little unusual because its usually gender swapped.









Nonsense. You just coddle her because she's a woman. If is a man cheating I see whether you will bash him or not.

Its important to let her know she is wrong, otherwise even if she get together with next guy, what if happens again?



Disagree . cheating is wrong.

Actually you are condoning because just further down you start blaming the guy with zero evidence.



We know for a fact the woman is cheating. To say maybe the guy is cheating too is really the craziest case of blaming the victim.

The girl here is trying desperately to justify herself cheating to the point of claiming the guy is abusive if the guy might be cheating you think the woman won't say?

The far more likely reason the guy is cold is because he knows or suspects the girl is cheating that's why he is angry!

A husband who cheats on his wife will know he is not on the moral high ground and wont be angry usually. One who knows or suspects he is cheated on on the other hand...

From the girls own accounts the kids are closer to the father cos he spend more time with them. While the girl is happily "comforting" herself with dating apps and going on trips with new bf. From this you conclude the guy is maybe cheating??

Yes I told you to try read between lines but be reasonable lah.

More likely the guy devotes all his time to kids its the wife running around having affairs.

If I would guess the husband is a bit older than wife or for whatever reason after kids lost interest in sex.

The husband devotes himself to kids while the wife dissatisfied with lack of sex.

So the wife strays while the husband devotes himself to kids.

Its a little unusual because its usually gender swapped.









Nonsense. You just coddle her because she's a woman. If is a man cheating I see whether you will bash him or not.

Its important to let her know she is wrong, otherwise even if she get together with next guy, what if happens again?



Disagree . cheating is wrong.

Hi ,I did not saying cheating is correct.and,FYI I did not blame the husband.just merely making inferences based on the circumstances of the case.honestly speaking neither of us know what is really happening in the marriage so we have no right to judge.i feel ur opinion is skewed towards the male party and hence biased.im not going to start another word war with you.im know this is cyberspace but show some respect to others.i always believe it takes two hands to clap.pinpointing and thrashing others faults is not essential as the event had already happened.

 

[newproject]

Hi ,I did not saying cheating is correct.and,FYI I did not blame the husband.just merely making inferences based on the circumstances of the case.

inferences that always blame the guy with no evidence.

i feel ur opinion is skewed towards the male party

nonsense you are the one biased.

in this thread with have a clear cut female cheater everyone on this thread male or female understands what is going on. (ie the girl is selfish cheater who wants to paint a good picture of herself for cheating and giving up custoduly) except you who lack experience to see what happening just start white Knighting blaming the guy say maybe he cheat too! (something the cheater never even say). you are just enabling the girl because of her gender.

you supposedly just got a gf? even if you never had a gf just imagine if your gf cheat on you. I see whether you so forgiving .

I'm not inferno lord or sad guy who always whack girls.

like in one thread the girl engaged with guy than found out guy was still going match making !

then the girl confess say maybe she very demanding etc and infernolord ask her reflect etc.

I jitao whack infernolord say why anyhow whack the girl.

 

[Staypositive]

inferences that always blame the guy with no evidence.



nonsense you are the one biased.

in this thread with have a clear cut female cheater everyone on this thread male or female understands what is going on. (ie the girl is selfish cheater who wants to paint a good picture of herself for cheating and giving up custoduly) except you who lack experience to see what happening just start white Knighting blaming the guy say maybe he cheat too! (something the cheater never even say). you are just enabling the girl because of her gender.

you supposedly just got a gf? even if you never had a gf just imagine if your gf cheat on you. I see whether you so forgiving .

I'm not inferno lord or sad guy who always whack girls.

like in one thread the girl engaged with guy than found out guy was still going match making !

then the girl confess say maybe she very demanding etc and infernolord ask her reflect etc.

I jitao whack infernolord say why anyhow whack the girl.

Yeah,to cheat on one spouse is wrong,what is done cannot be undone.what can be done now is that the lady quit her relationship with her lover and try to salvage the marriage.blaming and fault finding now will not help matters.

 

[Jeremy1979]

He is not worked up. He trying to talk some senses into you.
Honestly speaking, your hubby is working hard for this family. I can see he is also a loving dad, father. I do feel he is responsible to his family.

Put this in your own shoes. If you happened to be working hard to finance your family. You dun feel like intimate with your hubby. You hv to work on house chores, kids. Your hubby have a affair and he blame you for that. ... (this is bullshit right?? )

On the other hand, knowing you are married with kids. This young chap say wadever sweet thing he can just to bed you . We as guys will always sugar coat our words to coax a ger we interested. (u only know him for 6mths how much u know him enough??) From a guy perspective, i wont trust you if you dump your family for me. But i will love to keep you around cos i hv nothing to lose. Words are just words. And how my family will view you, a cheater, lier. A wife who ditch her family for me. I am young and you are getting older... Will you still be attractive in a few more years to come? One more thing to add, guys are hunter.. there are guys out there who like to take it slowly... Doesnt mean he went trip with you and doing nothing means he is a gd guy... He is baiting you.. and he succeeded.

Once again think twice on how to reach out to your hubby about your problem. (his family and friends). Try talk it out in a different way, ask him is he over work or stress up. What can you do to help him.. dun complain on wad u feel. Understand his situation, why he is acting this way. Rather thinking of yourself how miserable you are. You are making ppl who love you more miserable.e (your kids and the man that done you no wrong over the past 10 over years!!!)
how ppl look at you.

I am sorry for being blunt. Just to let you know wad a normal guy would do and think. (Dont be naive)

Agree with all the points made above by infernolord. You are now trying to justify your cheating act and you should stop before it getting messier. You are in a relationship problem and an easy prey for guys out there...the guy just need to shower you with all the attention and affection that your husband doesn't provide and bang!! I am very confident that you will regret your action in the future if you decided to go with this young guy. You do not need to do all these to slap some sense into your husband...probably he is taking you for granted, probably he is top busy taking care of his family but this is not the way...trust me, you will regret it. Sit him down and talk! No matter how stubborn your husband is, his heart is not made of steel.

 

[Jeremy1979]

Here's a tip, foolishguy, sadguy, infernolord all suffered at hands of wives/gf so they aren't very objective when they hear about woman cheating. Don't take it personally.

BTW, I am happily married for 18 years...but I agree with Infernolord...thats all common sense really...

 

[life_is]

Your husband created a huge void for someone else to fill. Can't say he is right to do that. Marriage is about the team. If people aren't there for their spouse, there isn't much of a relationship. Granted there are kids and work but if the couple cannot cope, there are part time cleaners, domestic helpers etc to relieve some of that. Should just use that to buy time for each other. Would advise not to break up the marriage if possible. Unless the husband really don't want to try.

 

[sadman2009]

Go ahead and get divorced. May be your husband also has a lover outside. Since he didn't want to have sex with you. Definitely he is having it elsewhere... Same with younger girls.. 10 years younger... I think there is totally no issue here. You like a younger guy so much... And your husband also wants to divorce you... So just go ahead and get divorced.. If you love the kids and want them then ask for custody or else give them to your husband. No issue here too. Lastly, since you want to be independent in your choose of your Love life then you also need to be independent financially. Don't ask for anything. Earn and spend your own money.
And if really need ask money from your so-love-you boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will give you financial support, be it lots or little.

 

[gladjo]

It is always easy to type "go ahead divorce" ...i remembered my sis n bro sent me ... thought i got their support since my ex had numerous affairs, when i was in Status Conf ...then i really kbow who my real family are..

Divorce is easy " IF" u dun hv kids ... and is easy "IF" yr ex is understanding n not a selfish man ...but if he want house n kids n want u to **** off n leave.. thats where it gets ugly ...thats where u either gave him all he want n go Uncontested n walk out ..or Contest which will cost $$ ...i self represnted my case n i tell u those idiot lawyers who u think are your friend n on yr side, truth is not ..they make rheir own secret agreements to "close" u...

So rhink carefully ... dun hear others...hear your heart n kids ..if u need help....feel free to pm me

 

[Noobee]

Just wonder the young man who go online to chat with u, does he chat with other woman? R u so naive that he won't have other ladies talking to him?

Since your kids are so important to your hubby, did u try persuade him to go out and enjoy as a family as a start instead of insisting dating as a couple. After all kids' welfare is also something u want to Ensure. When u says that your hub actually spend more time with your kids, did u ask yr hub or yourself if u are neglecting the kids tt why he treat u differently. It has seems that you think mostly of your own feeling and did not mention much about your kids. (I assume that based on information provided, no offend pls)

Anyway, I just feel irresponsible for anyone who cheat and giving excuses like feeling empty or left out. Once you sign on the dotted line, u have already committed to be faithful no matter richer or poorer, sickness or in health till death do us apart! That is also what we expect from our partner.