Advise - everynight one bottle of Tiger Beer

helplesssoul

New Member
My hubby say in order to clear heatiness he need to drink one bottle of beer every night.

But my concern for him will be no good for health in the long run so i tell him frankly that if possible don't drink daily.

And he shouted at me saying that i want to control him. Frankly speaking he sometime also will control me and wanted me to listen to him too.

This is not the first time we quarrel over this issue and he did promise that he will drink alternatively. Then suddenly he find fault with me & when we quarrel he say i want to control him and don't let him drink beer daily. Then now he want to break his promise also my fault?

So am i in the wrong?
 


opalstar

New Member
Actually, one bottle of beer only.. is okay la not one dozen beer right? he is probably used to it.. is like a smoker who will feel irritated if you tell him no smoke from today on..

You just tell him, you don't want to control him but just for health sake perhaps can take small steps. just 1 day a week no beer so that liver can detox, you wil cook herbal tea to clear heatness on that day..

Promise him no nagging so long as that 1 day a week is kept..

If one day a week don't think he will kick a fuss.. alternate days might be tough for someone who is used to drinking a beer a day.
 

helplesssoul

New Member
Actually if he don't drink beer for that day, i will buy those ready made water chestnut drink for him. I also want to cook those traditional herbal tea for him but he don't like. He is quite choosy on food and if sometime i cook something not to his liking, he will the whole plate don't touch at all.

But really thanks for your advise, i will try to talk to him nicely again.
 

helplesssoul

New Member
Opal : he does not succumb to both soft or hard approach on this issue. if say so he say why he must everytime listen to me. but anyway i will use your method & see how it goes. hopefully can succeed.
 

matka

Member
I've not heard about beer as a reason for heatiness before. hehe... Anyway, I think he just enjoys drinking beer.

What is the acceptable limit for health reasons anyway? Just wondering. If one bottle is considered moderation, are you okay letting it be, helplesssoul?
 

opalstar

New Member
ur approach is u tell him that he must stop.

you should let him tell you and make him compromise...Next time he protest again, then you ask him to set his limit, how many days a week he can stop. Sure will be abt one day aweek de...

Then you compromise also, say u accept his limit and in return u will not nag whenever he drink.

See the difference? Because he is the one thinking he make a bargain and u are compromising, the table is on him to keep up his agreement.
 

helplesssoul

New Member
matka : most peoples will say beer is to "jie liang" like herbal tea.

i also not sure whether if one bottle a day is it ok for health concerns, but i think drinking is not consider a good habit.

if it is possible, it will be best not to drink daily.
 

helplesssoul

New Member
opal : so if he say he need to drink daily and his limit is 1 bottle daily, so i will have to compromise & give way?
if he agreed to one day in a week no beer, the problems will still persist b'cos the previous promise he make to drink alternatively, he bear a grudge saying he got no choice to make such a promise and now in the end he still need to broke his promise.
 

opalstar

New Member
btw, seen the trick in practice, cos my mom like to use that pattern to sabo my dad.. Recently my mom have been trying to get my dad to stop eatng the char kway tiaoo because the new store just open and he super like it...so last month was like everyday one plate ...

======

Mom : What?!! Cannot eat Char Kway Teo everyday!!!

Dad : You don't love me, keep controlling me..

Mom : But really not good ma..so fat liao..

Dad : Cannot, if not char kway teo, i rather die..

Mom : .....Okay! compromise.. at most 1 times a week...

Dad : Cannot!! I need to eat at least 3 time!!!

Mom :.................3 time??? .....u say de ah! give you chance.. you eat more than 3 time i kill you...

Dad : *mumbles* Oh shit.. I fall into the trap again rite....

Mom : *victorious sign*
=====

Actually quite funny, why my dad always fall into the same trap?? I don't know le... exact same flow for alchol, ba ku teh and sugar cane drinks.. still keeep falling into the trap..
 

opalstar

New Member
alternate.. is really hard for someone used to beer..

but a day a week for resting of liver, he should accept it..

BTW, if he is compromising, then he will go for a lower figure.. cannot be daily de.. is human psych 101, if u offer a bargain, the counter party will be obligied to reprociate (sp?) ur favor..
 

susanna_low

New Member
I do drink on alternative day, 1-2 cans each time. It works for my sore throat. I took beer for hot heaty day sometimes after a swim and dom during winter.

As long as ur hb don't over drink, 1 per day is alright. It's better than him drinking outside or worse, drink-driving.
 

powder

Active Member
wat's wrong with a bottle of beer a day?

u have any documentary prrof that it's Bad or detrimental to health?
 

lhxkel

New Member
Frankly, sometimes it depends on how you have said to him. Is it in a commanding voice or is it like a heart to heart talk; gently and re-affirming that you love him and you have his interest at heart.
It seems "controling" when we use our older generation style as commanand & control only; parent to child attitude. This can be aggrevated if any of the spouse holds authoritative figures at work, CO of a army camp or maybe managerial/supervisory role. We're not able to disconnect from our work attitude when we are with our love ones.
 

lhxkel

New Member
Looking at matters of the heart, many a times, it is not the issue at hand that is difficult to handle (eg: smoking, drinking, gambling) but more of the heart, feelings level. How we bring the message across to our love ones. We cannot treat our spouse insensitively just like probably talking to your child or subordinates. Check that do we bluntly and without feelings just do a correction and after failing once, we raise our voices and start quarreling. Patience is needed. If we can't change our own habits overnight, don't expect your spouse to do it.
 

vios

New Member
my advice for you is to tell him to switch to Hoegaarden. Tiger beer sucks big time lah. then again, he would conclude you're trying to control his choice of beer, so better not ^^
 

denise80

Active Member
helplessoul, I'm more concerned with the fact that he 'shouted' at you. Do you two shout at one another often? Or did you just mean raising one's voice? Shouting is a big taboo in any relationship. It shows disrespect for one another and this will only continue because it has become a culture.
 

lmat

New Member
honestly, there is nothing wrong with beer at the end of the day. i drink every day. no, i am not a drunkard. i am a functional career woman. nothing like cooold beer hitting the throat at the end of a day. kick back and unwind. and yes, i smoke too. and i'd feel irritated if after a long day, someone tells me what i can or cannot do.

trust me, sweetie. beer is alright. at least he's drinking in front of u. gotta give him room before he takes the drinking elsewhere.
 

rofthelper

Member
helplesssoul, u would rather yr hubby drink at home than drink it outside. One bott a day is okie, at least to me. I drink 2 botts everyday for 10 over years.

If health is yr concern, ask him to drink red wine instead before sleep.
 

rofthelper

Member
I agree binge drinking can't maintain a solid erection. But shrink in size?

Come on lah.

==========================================
drink beer the male part will not be hard and it will strink in size.

please tell him about it and he'll stop immediately
 

tomasulu

Member
why do you want to be a meddlesome aunty instead of a loving wife? isn't life hard enough as it is? too free? too bored? you don't get to tell people what to do at work so you try it at home?

what??
 

snoopies

New Member
Sometimes, guys need to drink for many reason, but as long they can control themselves is fine.

My hubby enjoys drinking beer at home too and sometimes up to 4-6cans a day. Initially, I will nagged and stopped him from drinking. But after hearing his explaination that he can only drink at ease when at home than outside as he need to drive, I actually felt more relieved & just let him be.

As time goes, at times, I will give a silly / irritating expression or hint in joking manner once awhile to him when he drinks too daily. He will get the hint and limit himself to last can whenever I did that.

Sometimes, if you nag too much, will just irritates him at the point and he will indulge in more drinking.
 

Top