Advice require for Banquet table planning.

Discussion in 'A Meeting Place For All Brides' started by maddyTSY, Apr 3, 2018.

  1. maddyTSY

    maddyTSY Member

    Hey guys, appreciate your help by sharing information with me please. I need advice by all graduated brides or BTB on how you all plan for your banquet table.

    Firstly, my parents are divorced and apparently they are not on good terms till now. 2ndly, some of my paternal relatives are against her and against from sitting at the same table with her. FYI, I will have 2 VIP tables. No matter how I plan the arrangement, it seems to be pretty bad as I have paternal grandparents around too. HTB’s grandparents are no longer around. Dad’s has a gf and my mum don’t like the fact that dad’s gf is not in the position to sit at VIP table. And if I make her sit somewhere else, my dad will not be happy.

    In order to minimize the conflict, I will need to have table arrangement that gladly fits them in. I have gotten advise from my colleague that I should sit with my in laws VIP table together with my mum. And my paternal side side together with grandparents should sit at the other VIP table to prevent conflicts. Does it sound feasible?

    I don’t want to look bad. And for ROM wise, my mum insists of signing the documents because she had gotten hold of my custody when I was not at the lawful age. I’m seriously having a headache of pleasing my parents at the same time and not making either one of them unhappy.

    Please provide me your advices. Thank you.
    wcaching likes this.

  2. felirocious

    felirocious New Member

    I’m sorry for the stress u r facing.

    Whatever possible table arrangement. Discuss with HTB and PIL, get their understanding also. Your colleague suggestion may not be a bad idea...

    ROM witness is your choice. Whichever u feel correct and comfortable. Rmb whatever we do, it’s gonna not pleasing another party. Justify your action by informing/discussing before hand with the party and get their understanding.

    You won’t be able to please all. Do the best u can and seek for understanding. Understand and get understood. Jiayou.
    kytheon likes this.
  3. ing1

    ing1 Member

    Hihi, i can imagine the stress you are feeling.

    Whatever you have decided to do, pls keep emphasising to your parents whenever you have a chance that

    1) whatever decision you made, you are not under influenced of the other parent.
    2) its YOUR wedding, if they wish you to be happy, you wish to seek their cooperation in keeping their differences internal and not make it difficult for you. You want a happy wedding ceremony.

    Regarding the VIP table, why not have 1 table only? Just get both side of the immediate parents to sit together. Your parents must give face and sit together harmoniously since they are sitting with your in-laws, thus avoiding conflicts? Not sure if this works. You know your parents better.

    I agree with felirocious, you will not be able to please all. Its your wedding, do not worry so much, have fun and be a happy bride!
  4. maddyTSY

    maddyTSY Member

    Hi. Thank you the advice. Discuss with my HTB & PIL. They are fine with the arrangement as they understood my situation in doing these planning. I tried to justify but you know some people just cannot control their mouth in spreading unnecessary comments. Sigh.
  5. maddyTSY

    maddyTSY Member

    Hi. Thank you for your understanding. Probably i will want both parents to be around but they cant seems to get along. That's the issue. Regards to the VIP tables, there are 2. Due to my paternal grandparents are around including my siblings and they compromise one whole table. That's why i have to think of my PIL family side as well. No choice i have to split into 2 VIP tables. As i guess this is really no other ways than that as my family is rather huge.
  6. felirocious

    felirocious New Member

    Jiayou. It’s not easy.
    Especially what ever we do, someone will tend to give extra comments or advise.

    Great that you managed to discuss with them. Perhaps sometime, single discussion may not work out perfectly but press on

    I also faced quite a fair bit of issues lately. Small Cold War with HTB, slight arguments here and there.

    Enjoy the process. Ganbette.
  7. maddyTSY

    maddyTSY Member

    i guess that's the process. So cheer up and talk it out. I guess arguments are totally unavoidable.
  8. eang18

    eang18 Member

    Just to confirm its 1 X Bridal table where you, HTB and in-laws + immediates and 2 X VIP table for your parents and relatives. If so, VIP tables are merely the settings and table clothes color .. your hotel should be able to accommodate the request. You just need to ensure you have sufficient relatives/ friends on your mum and dad's side to fill the 2 X VIP tables.

    Usually, its not required to have your parent(s) in the Bridal table, unless you specifically want it to be - in any case, you won't have much time at the table since its going to be a lot activities and changing during that day (hence your mum going to be lonely unless there are others she know on the same table).

    For ROM - take some time to talk to your dad personally and let him know how you feel - dads are more understanding i think.

    You should feel blessed too that both parents are fighting for your attention :D They certainly loved you a lot and very likely give in to your requests since you are still their priority in the end.

  9. maddyTSY

    maddyTSY Member

    Hi! Thanks for the advice. We are going for 2 VIP tables. As such my mother will be sitting with me for the banquet at 1st VIP table where else my dad and grandparents will be sitting at 2nd VIP table. As my paternal immediate family is able to fit 1 table instead. I can’t afford to get both my parents to sit at one table due to their old debts for many years. So to keep in it in a polite way. Separate them will be the best. But no worries. My uncle and aunt will be with her at the VIP table. So she won’t feel lonely.
  10. kytheon

    kytheon Member

    glad to hear you figured put the siting arrangement.

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