Advice needed ..

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by ginkola, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. ginkola

    ginkola New Member

    Hi all.. just wanna seek some advice from the people here.. hopefully we'll feel less burden.

    My fiancé and I are paying half half for the wedding and housing cost together on our own. My future PIL doesn't have much to support us financially which is ok, however the cost for Guo Da Li like Pin Jin and Si Dian Jin all other stuff etc have to be fork out by my fiancé as well. This portion further burdens him. I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell my parents about the their financial situation as my fiancé family is afraid my parents will look down on them etc. I won't want my parents to feel sad or worry as well. On other note if we don't we are quite stressful now. Is this a normal process for wedding couples? Just a ranting space..
    newproject likes this.

  2. Audrie

    Audrie New Member

    Hi Ginkola,

    I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma but when it comes to wedding planning, it's quite common for couples to bump into problems like this, so you don't have to worry about being the only one.

    Since this concerns both you and your groom, you should sit down with him to discuss your priorities and the problem at hand and agree on a solution that is ideal for you and your families. If the financial cost of your Guo Da Li is your concern, perhaps both of you can consider scaling down and doing a simple Guo Da Li by getting the absolute necessities and forgoing certain elements, say boxes of traditional wedding cakes (喜饼) to give away to your relatives or the Si Dian Jin (since the giving of Si Dian Jin is mostly symbolic and most brides may or may not even wear them after the wedding), if you and your families are not very particular about following tradition to a T.

    Once you have discussed what's more important to both of you at this present time and come up with a solution to tackle the concern at hand, you can share them with both your parents, explain to them why your decision is what it is and seek their understanding and support.

    A wedding is a union between two individuals coming together to form one family unit and you and your groom should both come together as one to face your problems, come up with a solution and face your families together.

    Hope this helps alleviate your worries a little. :)
  3. Rester

    Rester New Member

    My wife had just started work before our wedding and had limited savings while her family does have quite high demand as frankly my parent's are not well to do while her family is considered much wealthier than mine. As such i also had my fair share of issues to during the planning phase especially when it comes to financial commitments. End of day everything worked out but required quite a fair bit of communication and give + take on both sides. Between bride and groom and their PILs too. Personally i just felt that whatever i do for the wedding, just dont take up loans and plan within means.

    There are always ways to scale back and save on most stuff cause this days unlike before i think we do get a fair bit of leeway from our parents in their demands. Just make a diligent search for vendors and usually you will find something within your budget and to your liking.

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