Advice Needed - dating a man who is going through a divorce

allycinsg

New Member
I met this guy from an online dating app. He is going through a divorce, likely to be an uncontested divorce in Singapore and both parties need to work through the ancillary matters, e.g. children custody and financials. He said it will be a few months, but never indicated on the timeline.

We meet during weekdays for lunch, never weekends. During weekday evenings, he doesn't respond after 7:00 pm in general, if lucky I will receive response around 11:30 pm, otherwise the following morning. He then says he fell asleep.

We chat on daily basis, but the frequency reduces as the week goes by ... Fri, Sat and Sun responses reduce to 1 or 2 words.

Seeking opinions on the following:
(1) How do I know if he is really going through a divorce?
(2) How can I tell if I am a bootie call or there are potentials with him?
(3) Any signs that I can look out for, as alarm bells?

Thanks in advance.
 


newproject

Active Member
Looks bad.

Weekend he should be the freest.

What the heck is he doing all weekend?

Clearly he is lying about divorce.

What evidence can he give he is going through a divorce?
 

allycinsg

New Member
Looks bad.

Weekend he should be the freest.

What the heck is he doing all weekend?

Clearly he is lying about divorce.

What evidence can he give he is going through a divorce?
Not sure what evidence can one produce regarding divorce proceedings.
 
It's a bootie call so don't think too much. In the wife's and possibly other people's eyes, you could be the home-wrecker.

A deed of separation is not that expensive to obtain.
During my time, it cost $700 and more importantly it gave us the freedom to date and play nookie-nookie with other people.
 

allycinsg

New Member
It's a bootie call so don't think too much. In the wife's and possibly other people's eyes, you could be the home-wrecker.

A deed of separation is not that expensive to obtain.
During my time, it cost $700 and more importantly it gave us the freedom to date and play nookie-nookie with other people.
I am not the reason for their divorce. Accordingly to him, they decided it's over when he met me.

However, I understand what you are saying. I should ask for the deed of separation.
 
I am not the reason for their divorce. Accordingly to him, they decided it's over when he met me.

However, I understand what you are saying. I should ask for the deed of separation.
Never trust a man's word unless it is written in his blood .....

Even if you trust, always verify.

If it is what he says it is, the deed of separation shouldn't be too difficult to obtain. It sets the wheels in motion for the eventual divorce. You'd know if he was serious in his intent ie. divorcing his wife ...
 

allycinsg

New Member
Never trust a man's word unless it is written in his blood .....

Even if you trust, always verify.

If it is what he says it is, the deed of separation shouldn't be too difficult to obtain. It sets the wheels in motion for the eventual divorce. You'd know if he was serious in his intent ie. divorcing his wife ...

Got it ... I need to decide whether to ask or just walk away.
 

eileen85

New Member
if he is in the midst of divorce, for sure there will be some documents such as draft from the lawyer etc. you can always ask him about it....seems fishy that weekends he is not able to reply text..
 

Catin

New Member
Weekend should be very free. Certainly he won’t be spending the time with his soon to be divorced wife. Unless he is spending time with other women .
 

DWiz

New Member
Indeed sounds fishy.
If he's going through divorce, he should be free during weekend. And weekday why no dinner too? Sound weird..
 

CDing

New Member
Alot of men use this to first gain sympathy then maybe trust and love. My ex was one of them, pretending to be a divorcee.
 

MYYAHOOACC

New Member
A) Play hard to get, ignore his messages for a while (you decide how long) but that's provided you can take it not messaging him.
B) Give up totally, he has BAGGAGES. You will have to accept and deal with him too. Look for a clean cut relationship. It is better for a divorcee to be out of the woods then handle another relationship, don't SCREW UP people's life.
I advice you to go for B). No lost. Take time to look for a partner. Don't be like me, desperate, see one, grab one where there are so many possibilities out there. Don't be so eager. Slow down. Once you are in a eager (or "desperate") situation, your mind tends to be blurred and your mind is not calm and rationale.
 

lakshsony

New Member
I met this guy from an online dating app. He is going through a divorce, likely to be an uncontested divorce in Singapore and both parties need to work through the ancillary matters, e.g. children custody and financials. He said it will be a few months, but never indicated on the timeline.

We meet during weekdays for lunch, never weekends. During weekday evenings, he doesn't respond after 7:00 pm in general, if lucky I will receive response around 11:30 pm, otherwise the following morning. He then says he fell asleep.

We chat on daily basis, but the frequency reduces as the week goes by ... Fri, Sat and Sun responses reduce to 1 or 2 words.

Seeking opinions on the following:
(1) How do I know if he is really going through a divorce?
(2) How can I tell if I am a bootie call or there are potentials with him?
(3) Any signs that I can look out for, as alarm bells?

Thanks in advance.
Why do I feel like he is lying to you about his divorce? Check out if he is on any other social media app, from there you can see whether he is happy or not with his marriage life. For now, don't trust and love him. Confront him and ask him to proof his situation, he should have some divorce documents with him if he is telling you the truth. If you're suspicious, I'd suggest you to forget about him.
 

SGblushingbride

New Member
You should walk away and forget about this guy. Don’t waste your time and energy on this guy. You deserve someone who is fully committed to you, who can give you the love and attention you need, and who can make you happy. I wish you all the best.
 

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