A Place To Vent Anger on Monster In Laws

[pinkbuttons]

sm, i can see where u are coming from, but it was never my intention to ask for maintenance.

while i upkeep my end of the monthly installments on the house & other miscellaneous items, but for whose enjoyment? for my husband and his mother to enjoy? shld i write-off monies which i had lent to pay his credit card debts? we're not talking about a measly few hundred dollars, it's a significant sum of money.

yes, i am capable of earning my own keep, but does that mean i shld be obligated to finance the comforts that they are currently enjoying without any responsibility to bear on his own, other than their PUB bills & his monthly 'allowance' to his mother? if he can afford to give his mom $800 per month as an allowance for sitting at home, can he not afford to start repaying me, even in installments? if the money were loaned from a friend, and not me, i'm sure that he would make sure that loan is repayed. i regret offering to loan him the money in the 1st place, shld've just let him borrow from JAMES or something... i was too naive to think that i was helping him save on the high interest rates. even the notional rent that my lawyer is asking for on my behalf, i tried to keep to as low a figure which i believe he can afford. may be a pinch on his pocket, but he has to hold some responsibility for things turning out this way?

i agree legal fees are hefty. currently i'm at a very preliminary stage. will definitely see how it develops before i decide on which route to pursue.

Mozz, i pray that i'll be as fortunate as you to meet someone better =)

 

[cactus_79]

Hey pb, don't let your lawyer squeeze you dry k. Try to keep in mind that legal action is always ugly. If you have made up your mind to fight against your husband, then go all the way. Not worth it to change your mind. If you are in doubt, perhaps speaking to trusted friends or counsellers will help you be more clear minded.

Actually his lawyer is right. He is not obliged to pay you any rent. Did your lawyer really advice you that you can get rent from him?

 

[simpleman]

pinkbuttons,

actually i can empathise with what you are going through. You are right, if he is decent enough he should pay you some.

If you are still paying for the house using your CPF you can try to stop paying?

I guess the best is have DOS drafted and signed if you are going the legal route cos you will need to wait 3 years for the divorce.

Money lent to other half is unfortunately very difficult to chase. You should try to appeal to his conscience to at least pay you a little - small sums over long period of time is ok.

 

[jycs]

pinkbuttons

Can you sell your house? If your flat is a new flat, you can sell it back to HDB and of course 5% lower than the market rate. Sell it off better right? At least the mother doesn't enjoy it for free. Maybe they could opt in to buy over the flat.

 

[simpleman]

cactus,

You could be right about the maid levy subsidy. There is a discount when you have old people or very young children in the family. Right now, my maid is under wife's name and she is enjoying the subsidy. I will check if I transfer the maid to my name if I still enjoy the subsidy. I could be wrong and I may be able to enjoy the subsidy. thanks for point out.

Other than the social stigma aspect that each of us need to deal with - this will affect different people in different ways - no point to compare.

As a single father of three children (as opposed to mother of three children), I will not be enjoying those child-related benefits like tax reliefs, maid levy tax reliefs, special tax rebate (this is given to mother only although they can transfer to the father). And the only reason I am not enjoying these is because I am a father but not a mother.

OK. I guess we can agree to disagree on who is worse off as it is different for different people. I am ok not having these child-related benefits and they are not crucial. I just thought our policies should be towards pro-family and gender neutral.

Anyway, thanks for the discussion and I think we have digress quite a bit from the MIL thread. apologies here.

 

[cactus_79]

I agree with sm. If you plan to go separate ways, get the DOS done now.

 

[cactus_79]

Yeah, SM,no offense meeant but I don't see why your wife is still enjoying the subsidy.....

Yeah.. I agree we've digressed from the thread. It was an interesting exchange of views though.

 

[kellie_l]

pinkbuttons.. I kind of understand how unjust you feel. But I still think that you should try to not brood over too much the money lent out. You may try to recover what's been loaned to him, like the rest suggested, but please be prepared mentally that you can't get it back. Perhaps to console yourself that it has cost you this much to really know him.

About the flat's instalment, I'm afraid you can't do much for now as any change in instalment proportion & same for the intention to sell the flat, you'll need him to agree & sign on the docs.

To start with, go & change your address in your I/C at any NPP & keep the receipt. This could serve as a proof i think. If you prepare the DOS & he refuses to sign it, you'll waste your money.

 

[simpleman]

Of course for the DOS, make sure he is agreeable lah.. otherwise waste money if he refuses to sign.

You can just send him a draft of the DOS with the relevant points for discussion and agreement before asking the lawyer to write as it will cost money for lawyer to write for you.

 

[kellie_l]

what if he agrees then changes his mind when the lawyer has prepared the offical DOS? or maybe i think too much already, hee.

 

[mozzarella]

Hey PB,
Is there any way both of you can settle it amicably? I'm sure he does not have the money to pay for more legal fees. And WOW $800 to that witch for ruining his life????? Shen Jing Bing!!! It's better for 2 of you to sit down and discuss a win win situation. You may not get back the $$ he owes you base on his lack of $$$, and you may end up having to pay hefty legal fees which may be a losing end for you. As for current "commitments" Stop letting the two spineless basxxxd sponge on you!! $$ can be earned back. Old money owed... maybe you should just forget it. No point wasting all that effort and energy on this 2 useless people. Let go and pursue your happiness. No point dwelling in the past, take it as pay $$ learn lesson. Next time open eye big big when looking for bf..... check out the family first before u put 100% into rs. Going thru legal battle is very tiring. I chose to just do it the easy way. In the end the one who will suffer is the one with most hatred and revenge in the heart. Live your future and be happy!!

 

[simpleman]

kles, ya.. u are thinking too much. even if he sign DOS.. he still can don't honour what is agreed in DOS... very hard one.

That is why the best is to sit down and settle amiciably - not easy of course and may have to go through a few round of discussion. As long as we keep cool and not be emotional about the issue it should be possible to reach a compromise

 

[simpleman]

Of course the HB has to be open-minded and agreeable as well.

 

[kellie_l]

Agree with Mozz.. don't let yourself continue to suffer more by moaning on the loss of money as working on the divorce matters already very draining.

Ya sm is right. In order to get things moving, talk with him calmly. Perhaps could also suggest to him to rent out one of the rooms, so he can sort of repay you a lil with the rental? In a way they won't get to enjoy the whole flat by themselves too. But that's if he has come to terms with the separation.

 

[pinkbuttons]

What should I do if he refuses to sign a DOS? What are my options?

 

[simpleman]

pinkbuttons,

you got no option. just separate and file for divorce when it is time and let the court do the ruling..

 

[wintercrystal]

Hi PB,
At this stage now I think its highly unlikely for you to want to salvage the r/s any further. Just get the lawyer to serve your going to be ex HB the separation letter and settle the house. Stop dilly dallying anymore cos HDB will not release your own money back to you unless the house is sold so why keep paying for their enjoyment. Unless you are able to proof that he has asked you for loans etc and you have given him the loan it is quite hard for you to get the money back cos when you offered him the money it could be interpreted as gifts from you to him. To prove the opposite will be a long drawn affair which you do not need now. Whether or not you need maintenance is irrelevant , jsut ask your lawyer to input an amt which you feel is sufficient for you to sort of live with. however, do note that ruling is one thing enforcing is another in the worst scenarios the courts can send a decree to the co. that your going to be ex HB works for to deduct that amount but its in rare cases. most impt now is to cut your losses and move on and get them out of your life.

 

[wintercrystal]

There are 3 ways to divorce and going for irreconciliable differences will be one of the faster ways. I am sure your lawyer can advise you further on this method. Hope my 2 cents advice have helped you.

 

[mozzarella]

Think if u wait 4 years... it will be consider abandonment automatic is divorce ler right? I'm not sure.

 

[kellie_l]

Ya.. separation without consent from either party will need 4 years in order to divorce.

That's why it's better to talk with him first. If he objects to it, no point preparing the DOS, waste money. Like said earlier, change your address in I/C should be the first thing to do as this could serve as a proof of the separation if nothing else can be done.

 

[pinkbuttons]

ok, thanks everyone for your advice. i'll make it a point to change my IC address tml.

 

[green_tranquility]

Kles is right. Separation without consent from either party will need 4 years in order to divorce.

Take care, pinkbuttons.

 

[pinkbuttons]

btw, what are the typical terms of a DOS? If i don't get the lawyer to prepare it, how else would i go about drawing one up?

 

[mozzarella]

Actually we just went to a lawyers and said tat we have already seperated for 3 years. As long as both agree. U can kinda "shorten" the process.... Even so.. the whole entire thing took another 1 year to finalize. I'm only getting my DN in this 2 months and we filed 1st quarter last year.

 

[simpleman]

pinkbuttons,

If you PM me your email, I will send you a sample DOS. What you can do is to modify the DOS and then send it to your HB. If he is agreeable then it may be worthwhile to ask lawyer to prepare and both can sign.

Of course it is not necessary to have DOS like what mozz has said. After separation for a while, can always file for divorce provided both are in agreement and normally can back-date.

 

[pinkbuttons]

hi sm,
having some trouble with your PM, but anyway, u can email me at [email protected]

thanks!

 

[honesty]

dear PB...jus read your reply to me...i am sorry to hear things turning ugly btw u and hubby. But then again, i am not surprised, cos seeing how "weak" your hubby is to his mom's demands, with u not by his side anymore, all the more he's gonna believe watever poison his mom is feeding him.

Sigh...anyway..i am praying for u. And i hope no matter wat happens or how the ending will turn out to be, u will be strong and find the happiness u deserve to have. When the going gets tough and the situation seems hopeless and u find a lot of heartaches in you, jus try to tell yourself over and over agan this sentence "This will come to pass...this will come to pass..." It's a strong sentence...it helped me a lot when i was going thru some difficult times myself.

Have faith.

 

[sway]

My mil has moved back to stay with us (and the entire of her monster clan too), I'm no different from living in hell now.

We're staying in our pil's house because my mil is always creating so much dramas when we wanted to move out. She moved to my sil's house to look after her 2 young grandchildren and moved back with sil and the children during the school holidays because she has a lot of conflicts with sil's husband...... Now that the school has reopened, sil thinks it good to continue staying here since her husband refused to accept her mother as who she is. I have very little sleep since my mil came back (about 3-4 hours daily). She knows I'm allowed not to be in the office for the whole day, thus every afternoon I must bring her out for lunch and coffee sessions (she is a young mil, not that old that requires me to be around), accompany her to shopping, dinner in the evening and watching tv with her at night and worse during the weekends. I have to go out with her and her whosoever from morning until any time she likes, I have to find excuses to go back to my parents' place so that I can catch up with some sleep.

As I don't have a habit of locking my bedroom's door when I'm at home, she came into our room as late as 1am at night and also in the morning when we're still in bed, just to ask us some stupid questions, never for once did she knock on the door first. Hence, I locked our door when we're in bed...... guess what? Knowing my hb has left for work and I'm still in bed, she knocks on my door and walk-off then denies when I ask her, but the young nephew told me my mil told him that's because she wants to wake my hb up in case he's late for work. Please! Not as if she doesn't see him leaving the house every morning. Have you seen a mother often walking around the house for whole day with nothing at the bottom except her underwear? Our main door is opened, children are at home and neighbours from the opposite block can see her, who is she trying to seduce huh? Not too long ago I found a photo of her hugging with a a much younger guy who is about the age of my hb, my hb saw that photo too and he agreed this isn't a friendly hug.

We spent a lot ever since they moved back. Last month alone, I spent more than $1k on her meals and shopping. She alone needs almost $10 even when it's just eating in coffee shop. Thanks to her, my utilities bill increased to nearly $400. Have you ever seen someone washing their bath towel after every usage? They are the ones. She operates the washing machine 2-3 times a day with 1/3 load and tv is on as long as she's at home and she never off all the power switches when she isn't using them. I'm so pathetic that after waited for one whole week, I still can't find a slot to use the washing machine for myself...... until one night, I decided to wash it at 3:30am when there's finally an empty slot and she has the cheek to tell hb I'm such a weird woman, must be something to do with black magic blah blah blah. Nowadays I've decided to handwash instead of waiting for a chance to use the washing machine.

I think she wants to keep me at her side, as last week she told me a fortune teller told her someone from a certain chinese horoscope is her life time "gui ren" (a person who brings good luck to someone), she must stay with this "gui ren". What is she trying to imply when knowing I'm the only person under this horoscope? Wish me good luck!

 

[janicachan]

>>Have you seen a mother often walking around the house for whole day with nothing at the bottom except her underwear?

does she has some mental problem?

ur mil is quite different fr other mils. my mil is v careful when comes to electricity...she will nag at me to switch off the lights after use, n ask me open window instead of switch on fan or air con.

 

[hadoe]

Dear Corrine,

She is indeed a Monster-in-law!!! Sorry I have not been following yr story, but may I ask what your hubby's reactions to his mom?

Why must you "bb sit" yr mil all day lei? She is not senile, rite?

 

[cactus_79]

hi Corrine, your MIL really sticks to you like glue yah! Maybe you should change your job, get something which requres you to be at work all the time!! Then during weekends, make excuses to be out of the house.

 

[cecilialim]

oh my god... thats sounds terrible... they sound more evil than those who just scold DILs and make life difficult for them directly...

 

[mozzarella]

My gf just told me about her MIL and GMIL who walks round the house naked...And her husband would bathe with his grandmother. She got a shock when they visited her house for the first time. It was like a family of nudist. She would wake up in the morning and get a shock seeing a naked old lady on the sofa watching tv.

 

[sway]

Wearing underwear is bad enough I hope her "condition" will not worsen to the state that one day I wake up seeing her naked. She did the same thing when staying in my sil's house when my sil's husband was at home. She was already a horrible mil last time, now it's worse. I will turn crazy if I stay with her any longer.

I think she is a selfish person. She doesn't need to pay for the utilities that's why using them as much as she wants. I asked hb to tell mil not to occupy the washing machine 24/7, but he thinks it's my fault for not using it immediately once when it's empty. How to when I don't have a place to dry them? Please don't ask me to get a dryer, she'll end up to be the only user again. I wonder does my mil know all human beings have laundry to do and I'm one of them too? I'm thinking is it because she knows my pay is double of what my hb is earning and I'm the one paying the utilities that's why she uses them like it's free?

My sil's husband and I noticed she will show her most ugly side when her own children aren't around, unlike most people who hide their ugly sides to outsiders. Nowadays after knowing I'm getting more and more firm with the plan to divorce, my hb believes my words for what kind of a person his mother is but my sil thinks her husband is trying to make up stories because he dislikes her mother for being an arrogant mil. All along I treat my sil's husband as my own elder brother, so whenever I'm talking to him with only my mil and him around, my mil will give me the kind of face as if I'm flirting with another man. One day, she told my sil to be careful with her husband as she suspects he falls in love with another woman else he will not refuse to be as submissive as he used to be. Then she told my hb she suspects something isn't right between the both of us...... luckily my hb thinks she's crazy to suspect this.

 

[mozzarella]

The only place your MIL should check herself into is IMH..... She's is definitely mentally very unsound.

 

[jessl]

Was feeling very stressed up with my pil staying with me. Compare to u, i'm more fortunate.

 

[green_tranquility]

Hope I can live in peace with my in-laws next year. My bf is the only son and hopes to take care of them.

 

[ssybaby]

Wow aft hearing all these MIL stories..i got a fear with staying with my IL..OMG lucky i pushed back my wedding dates due to no hse, else i don;t knw how i'll die @ my IL hse...

My husband's mother she is very very particular abt water & electric, imagine @ nite don't switch on light to watch TV, there's no light in the hse(is a corner hse so no corrider light), then e water she uses to wash clothes is like a pile of water washes 10+++ over clothing then changed, my husband white top aft 1 wash will either become yellow, blue or black...hahahah..cos e water washed jeans ald then wash his top..normally he will keep his white top @ my hse, cos aft 10 wash is still white...hahahah...

I use water as if my hse is a reservoir, a bit dirty i on water to wash, but his hse no ah, a basin of water wash vege ald, then wash table cloth then wash hand, cos wat they claim is clean...OMG...i rather don't wash, go inside toilet, close the toilet door & on the tap to wash my hand...hahahaha...

Wash vege, only a bit bit of water to cover the vege then aft which e water cant pour away, still can wash table cloth, unless is real dirty then she will pour away..i tink i'll die of poison..hhahahah

Mop floor don't use detergent de, a bit of water cover the mop can ald, then keep moppin then said "haiz no matter how i mop still dirty & oily.." i was tinkin of cos lah, no detergent how to be clean, mop 3times still dirty lah..

My hair very long, so tend to drop when comb or jus normal turning of head, she will pick up quickly & said wow nxt time u drop 1 hair, i collect 10cts fr u...i told my mum, she blust out laughin..hahahhaha

 

[wintercrystal]

wah dolphin, your future IL's house sounds horrifying hahaha...
how to survive without electricity? maybe one day she will give u candles hahaha...

 

[green_tranquility]

Dorphin,
Hey I should observe how my future MIL washes her veget and clothes one day! Hopefully it's not wash the clothes first, then reuse the water to wash the veget. * Faint*

PUB will love your future MIL. They will consider using her as a model for their upcoming SAVE WATER CAMPAIGN hehe.

Winter Lee,
Haha candles also cost money leh! Use moonlight?

 

[sunflower75]

Haha, dolphin you have an interesting mil. Sounds scary. I do not have much contact with my future mil. Scared if she is the same kind too. Think i better start to hint my fiance if we should stay by ourselves after marriage.

 

[ssybaby]

i not really close to them, like the last time i went to their hse is ard Mar (my husband's birthday)...imagine i only go once in a blue moon & i can c all these things ald, imagine stay with them...hahahahah i will need to book a place @ IMH ald...hahahahh...

 

[green_tranquility]

Dolphin,
Ya stay far far is better!

 

[iwanfree]

I'll advise all to stay near, but apart from pils if given a choice. To stay near - bcos to spare a thought 4 ur hb who is obligated to take care of his parents. Imagine pil raise him well to b ur hb, right. To b apart for personal space n development.

My hb is only son and my pil does not have their house. I feel obligated to take them in. Now, i regretted very much.

It's 5 yrs. Can you imagine they wanted to move into my house when i rec'd the keys cos they have no house. We are NOT married at that time. Bcos of them, I have to leave my parents to stay together cos i do not want them to move into my house first. And there is no appreciation fr them. They deem it 'li suo dang ran' to stay at their son house. Over these years, i never felt any care n concern fr them. My mil only cares about fil n hb. I always feel so transparent.

When she make herbal tea, always pour for hb. Then ask me to pour myself if i'm ard. If hb coughs, she will make liang teh and bird nest if it is persistant. Ask me to give him drink. A few occassion i also cough till my chest hurts. She just ask me go to see doctor. If it was my mother, she would be so concerned.. I felt so !@#$%. When i buy food, always buy for all. When she buy, always for herself n fil. Sometimes really feel mad. Now i dun feel like buying anything back.

My mil is ok except being insensitive freak. Only care about fil n son. Takes everything for granted. My fil hardly talks to me. We have no common topic. Felt he is more zi dong to give me my space. But he also too sensitive till he shuns me when only 2 of us ard. And always looks at what i'm doing from the side of his eyes. Once, he called me names behind my back n my hb quarrel with him. I feel so bad. He used to do the laundry and my clothes will always be wif my hb underwear and socks. I told my hb but he say i too sensitive. Wat to do. Another insensitive freak.

I am one that likes to stay at home. Bcos of them, i dun like to go home and it's my house. It's so !@#$%.

 

[green_tranquility]

2befree,
I understand your fustrations. How about doing your own laundry? When you are free, try to visit your own parents becos their pampering will make you feel better.

Favorism is everywhere sigh, e.g. at home, at workplace. Even parents may show favorism to certain siblings. It happened to me. My sis and mum tried to chase me out of house.

If possible, let's try to open one eye and close one eye to favorism. We can't control others' behaviors but we can control our reactions.

Take care.

 

[iwanfree]

green,
I hav been closing 2 eyes so far. Otherwise will not stay for 5 yrs wif them. I used to tell myself need time to understand and accomodate each other. But now, i cannot ta han liao. One eg - Many times she buy food for fil, hb not home. When she knows i have not had my meal too, she would say my fil eats very little, can take some from his food. Do you believe a person who can have one pkt fried carrot cake, 3 slice reg pizza,2 cups pepsi to 'eat very little, cannot finish one pkt food? OMG. I never entertain her. Not that i very 'gian' her food, its the feel.

Tis not abt favouritism. I dun blame my pil. Everyone have different lifestyle. But i'm very frustrated bcos if i'm staying under their roof, i can still choose to move out. But i'm stuck. This is already my house and am still paying for and i still have to wei qu myself so much. It makes no sense. Doesn't all of us want to feel good at our own home? Aiy. Sorry for blurting so much.. need to vent my frustrations.

Tat y i dun encourage staying together. Mil is still mil, onli have her family in mind.. unless ur mil is those real good ones.

 

[greyarea]

2btree,
seriously speaking, your PIL problem is not so bad lah.. like green said, favourism is everywhere...what happen is you have a set of expectation on them and when they're behaviour doesn't fall into your category, you're disappointed. sometimes, you just need to "kan kai" a bit and you don't feel so fustrated and angry anymore.

i'm staying with my inlaws too and i'm paying for the flat too..how i wish my FIL doesn't dig out topic to talk to me and gossips things which he read from newspaper. and how i wish that he's not so particular abt me mixing my underwear with my husband clothes..afterall, we're husband and wife, so what's so dirty abt that? so, i usually ignore lah and do my own laundry with my hubby's clothes occasionally...i prefer to do my laundry cos he anyhow dump all clothes together.. i prefer to wash white with white only and color with color..and working clothes i will put into the laundry bag..

and yes, my PIL also brew liang teh for my hubby when he's sick and heaty but never really for me. i take it that it's a good thing they're helping me to take care of their son and no need for me to "chao xin"..hahaha.....imagine, some PIL expect the DIL to take care of husband all needs..for me, i'm not so particular if they brew me herbal soup or not cos i can take care of myself mah..sometimes, i will tell my husband to tell my PIL to make for me..hahah...or sometimes i directly asked them if there's any liang teh left cos i'm a bit heaty and want to brew myself..no need to be so "ji jio" lor..

 

[green_tranquility]

2befree,
Please feel free to vent your fustrations. It's what we come here for right! Now I see that the way your MIL talks will add on more fire to one's fury. Yap, it's safer not to stay with in-laws under same roof. But sometimes we do not have a choice if our hubbies are the only son in family.

I suffered depression for past 2 years due to emotional abuse from family. Recently, I learned to 'kan kai', give up all expectations, stop paying attention to how they treat me and other siblings etc. These save me from going nuts and make me a happier person. Haha I'm indeed my parents' REAL daughter. Same as your situation... If my sis and brother cough a bit, then my mum will brew herbal tea for them the very next day. Even when I coughed badly and suffered asthma attack, they neither brew herbal tea for me nor ask me see doctor!

Even my real parents can't show me concern, do you think I'll expect my in-laws to treat me as good as my BF? I try not to, as expectations breed disappointment and anger.

It helps to think positively like Grey Area. If I see my MIL caring 'too much' for my BF, I'll probably tease/suan them jokingly: 'Auntie, BF is so lucky hor. He's so old 30+ liao and he still have you around to care for him like a baby. Auntie, I'm so jealous.' I'll then pack my own food in future.

I'll move in with in-laws next year. If I get very angry with them, I prepare to 'cyco' myself this "How many years remaining do they get to see their son?" This thought is bad but it'll help to control my anger in case hehe.

We have no choice but to change our mindsets if we want to survive more years staying with in-law sigh... When you are fustrated, try doing things to cheer yourself up.

Grey,
Hey I like your positive thinking. Hope I can handle as well as you when I move in with in-laws next year. True, having MIL around means we can be more bochap about hubbies!

If my BF tells me 'I'm tired from work, please give me a massage leh.', I'll reply 'Go look for your Mummy'

 

[iwanfree]

grey
I have tried to be not so 'ji jiao'lor, and i never blame them. But cannot help feeling helpless and depressed most of the times. There is many more things that contribute to this.

Contrary to u, i wish my fil would talk to me from his readings from the papers. Thats what my own family is. We talks. There is more warmth in my family. Your fil talks to you cos he is comfortable with you. That is good thing. Jus ignore if it frustrates you sometimes. Here i feel no warmth. My hb works irregular hrs and almost 7 days a week. I have very little time with him. I have to face my pils most of the time. They always up the TV vol till i cannot tahan, cannot rest. Whenever i go back my mum place, i would sleep like log even when sitting on the chair. Can feel my mum so 'sim tia'. It's not me to be able to sleep so easily and deeply. Now my fil has mild dementia. No point telling him to keep vol down cos next moment he forgets liao. My mil also dun bother to turn it down. The laundry thing is past. Jus to give eg. how i used to feel. He does not do anything now. My fil used to be damn good at washing and ironing. So let him do lor. If i mix my underwear with my hubby, pil sure jump too. My mil cannot tahan standing below my washed and clean undies when it is hang on the hanging racks on top of her for dry during raining days. When i hanging my undies to dry, she would not even step near. Maybe i should use this to keep her away ah.. ha ha.

green
Is there any misunderstanding between you and your parents. It's not usual for parents to treat their own children badly. But anyway. I feel you have done a great job getting over your problems. Thumbs up for you. Since you have gone through such a bad patch, you will be stronger for pil problems. For all you know, your in laws may love you more than your hb.

ya agree that we can be more bo chap abt hb. For me, even if i want to chap, he is always busy working.

 

[greyarea]

2btree,
yeah, hopefully it's just a phase for you as it is for me..once i also like you feel that my house is not really my house actually and the only place that i will feel comfortable is my own room. so, most of the time, i will stay in my room and watch TV..hehe...i will close both eyes when it comes to my living room and kitchen..haha..

abt underwear, my FIL will be like your MIL i think. i think they think it's bad luck to stand below underwear. for me, i will not hang high up lor or just hand in my toilet..it's also not very nice to hang it high up mah..hehe..

i see, your hubby work long hours. that's why you feel so lonely...and that's why you've feeling all the fustration also...