A Place for the Already Married, who still lingers here in this forum

listan

New Member
I am newly officially customary married bride, considered 'graduate' of SingaporeBrides? Somewhat though, my addiction to come back here is still as strong, if not stronger than before I was married.

This forum becomes a part of my daily dose of perks? How many similar species out there like me? Or better, married, have first, second babies, but still here?!!?

Come in here!
 


dabee

New Member
hi hi

i m the Sept 04 brides. now with a 5mth bb boy i still visit this forum.
happy.gif
 

listan

New Member
hi DaBee! Wow, 04 is a quite some time back! Congrats on the baby, first baby?

I am still trying to get used to the double parents thing. It is pretty difficult to call another lady besides my own mother, as mother, eh?

My husband still 'accidentally' call out 'uncle' or 'auntie' at times...haha
 

sharon__joseph

New Member
this forum is so useful! i cant help coming back for advices! like that time i wana checkout the best cheap and good smudge-proof mascara and someone advice ZA and its really fantastic! better than the Dior i was using! i also came back for recommendations on travel and hotels...
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damsel

New Member
Hi Gals, Happy New Year!

I was a Feb 05 bride, two years on and I'm still here in fact have a little girl who is one already. This is a great place to meet people and exchange info.
 

listan

New Member
Happy New Year!!!!

Hi sharon, you are right there, I actually got my wedding venue from the recommendation of another bride. Thank goodness, it was very short time frame I was left with, and that helped so much!!!

damsel, I am now more convinced that 2 years later, I probably will still be sticking around here. Just can't quite get around without checking on here.

Husband noticed this new addiction though, each time I am typing away, he would say 'ahh.. forum?'..haha
 

damsel

New Member
Lissy, you hit the nail right on the spot, it's called addiction but a healthy one. So care to intro, like what you do in terms of a job? How has married life been so far? Is it what you expect?
 

listan

New Member
Damsel..

I work from home (lucky girl eh?), a super fun thing to do, as I work my passion in counselling (I am trained in counselling, but not attach to any org, still has things I want to do), and also working my hobby in crafts. As for the online business, I will not disclose here, too much risk to take in the price having my account suspended.

Married life has been.. errrrr.. Well, I got married on 01 Feb, so I am a pretty freshie, newbie, greenie wife. We left for honeymoon at BKK right after the wedding lunch reception (wacky eh??) returned 6 days after. Then, I was super duper busy with post wedding stuff like wedding photos arrangement, uploading to the wedding web (yeah, I've got one up) and then mass email to friends and relatives to invite them to view online.

Then, came the LNY. Difference.. I now have 2 reunion dinners to go to (no wonder married women tend to put on weight more easily eh?), then no more ang pao collection, and have to distribute!!

But all in all, married life has been quite the same, the main discomfort, I admit, is having to call another lady and gentleman besides my own, 'Mother'.. LOL It takes a bit of getting used to.

How about yourself, share share with the newbie..
 

listan

New Member
And.. don't worry, I won't conduct counselling on Forum Addiction here...LOL

In case anyone has a stereotype of counsellors.. I am the F&E type, won't go around grabbing anyone to be counselled, so don't worry..hee
 

damsel

New Member
<font color="0000ff">Lissy</font> We've got a few similarities, I got married in Feb as well but on 26. I pretty much work from home as well and run my own business which I would not mention here as well for fear of being kicked out. Hee hee mind sharing your wedding website with me.

After being married for 2 years I've learn that communication is the key and also being attentive to each others needs, especially after a kid. So it's up to the couple to spice up the marriage every now and then if not the marriage becomes pretty stagnant and dull. For me and hubby we make it a point to have a short weeekend getaway every few months leaving our baby with a nanny. This allows us to spend quality time together and ignites the romance when we were dating.
 

listan

New Member
damsel.. yes yes yes... Communication is the key, be it in marriage, in biz, in any form of human relationships (err, I've not kept a pet, so I can't comment much on communication with pets, but I reckon it's very much alike too, especially some animals are very sensitive).

my wedding webby is http://mikeliswedding.simpleartsplanet.com/. The photos are wackily hilarious (so as the feedback returned to me said). I believe in extracting some joy out of everything we do, even the least preferred tasks etc. Haiya, must have fun in everything we do, eh?

We live with my parents, but the good news is that my parents work night shift in the same premise, so we do have some private time in the evening. I firmly believe that we need to keep watch of the fire in the lamp of marriage, be watchful to add oil when it runs low, shield it with a lamp shield to prevent the flame from going off, watch out for the fire wig and replace a new one before it got burnt out.

Basically, we need to remember not to take others for granted. No one is obliged to do anything for us, vice versa..hee.. Always remember to say thank you.

Great management so far for you, that's the way to go, girl! Although I am newly married, I did cases of marriage crisis, so that helps me in understanding the dynamics of marriage behaviors.

One very super duper important thing to share with you eh. Since you have a baby now, remember DO NOT switch the way you address your husband, to papa, daddy, father etc, according to your child. Cos that affects the family sub-systems. Spare you from my super theory on family systems, but how we address our partner affects the behaviors.

My biz super mini scale though..hee..

You may share with me your biz site via PM.
 

damsel

New Member
<font color="ff0000">Lis</font> Thanks for sharing your website with me. You and your hubby look like a very fun loving pair. By the way congrats on being newly wed. The webpage was very well done, it make me feel as if I was there especially with the help of the comments.

I really like you illustration abt the fire in the lamp, that is so true is'nt it that we need to keep the fire burning all the time and to add oil when it starts to burn out.

Oh my god I'll never address my hubby as Daddy or papa, in fact I get the goose bumps when I hear wives call their husbands as such. It just confuses the role of the man between his wife and kid. I rather stick to hunny, dear or something mushy
lol.gif
 

listan

New Member
Clever Damsel!!!! Yes, it confuses the roles of husband, wife, and children. That is the beginning of behaviors modification.

I have no qualms of calling my husband, dear dear, in front of friends or family, I mean, there is no shame what.
 

damsel

New Member
Hee hee <font color="ff0000">Lis</font> let's just say I know a thing or two abt counselling, but not a expert like you lah and moreover dun want to steal your rice bowl from you
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listan

New Member
wahaha.. for helping industry.. the more the merrier..hee.. We sure need all the help we need here in this super fast paced city. So far, I have not collected any fee for counselling sessions... hahaha.. so it's alright to have more people helping.

When I was abroad, I actually checked my emails, and still loggin into this forum to reply on some threads..haha.. Really, this is the kind of connections this forum threads us all on.
 

damsel

New Member
I did my certificate course in counselling with the Australian Institute of Management and during that time I was thinking of going into it full time but I could not practice unless I went on to the Diploma and later on to the Degree course. And on top of that you need to be attached to an institution for job experience. It just seems too much to handle with a young kid so I'm putting that on hold for now even though it's very much at the back of my head and would love to pursue it sometime in the future.
 

listan

New Member
damsel, the reason I am only doing free-lance for counselling is simply that I can't commit 100% time for it now.

Guess though, it's still a good starter to get myself into the shallow water first, and when time is good, I can then dive deeper.

The certificate program is good to handle day-to-day issues, maybe some distressing neighbours need a listening hear?

Have fun with your little one eh!!!
 

damsel

New Member
Morning Lissy, counselling do take a lot of time and energy. And it's also emotionally stressful on the counsellors part since they take on the problem of the other party. So in order to stay sane counsellors need to detach themselves from the problems of the person once the counselling session is over. Yeah the cert course do give you a brief inside of what to expect of a counselling session and it's good to practice on your family and friends and the occasional neighbour who needs a listening ear.
 

sandsand

New Member
hi there... can i join in? I got married on 30th dec, but i still find myself coming back here... heee....

i also still have the problem of calling my ILs mum and dad... can call lah, but not very smooth lor.. heee.. if i stagger annymore it will be a very forced "mum, dad"...

and CNY was a crazy period man.. b4 marriage already have so much to eat, after amrriage got even more to eat! and everyone now has moved on from "so when are u getting married" to "so when are u going to have a kid"..... haiyo... so tired of answering all these.. haha..

so who is in the helping profession here? =) i am...
 

damsel

New Member
Hi Ribbons, welcome to the thread. So you are a newly wed as well. Not an old bird like me. Hee hee that's usually the case with ppl, before you are married they will ask when's the big day? After that when going to have a baby? And if you think it stops there think again. They will drop the bombshell and ask when is the 2nd one coming? Hmmm I'm at that stage now unfortunately.
 

listan

New Member
hi ribbons.. welcome here!

Soon this thread may attract all brides who are trained in helping industry!! Wahhaha.. So to speak, yes, I am trained in that aspect too.

observing from my sister's situation, (she has 4 girls.. yes.. go ahead and wow!!) It goes like this:

1. No one ask her when she was getting married, since no one was expecting her to be married at 21.

2. People started to ask when was her labor date

3. Which gynae she saw, which hospital, natural birth or c-section

4. After the first baby, people want to know when was next

5. (the same routine follows)

6. starting from birth of 2nd/3rd/4th girls, people ask if she wants to try for boy (stress!!!)

7. When finally decided to have just 4 girls, people ask which school she is putting them into

Oh.. one more thing, after the birth of each girl, one of my relatives who was a principal in a well-known school, would always 'investigate' into the naming of the children. She once told my sister to 'change' the names of 2 girls of my sister. Saying that those are male names...hahaha

btw, I don't go visiting during LNY, part of the reason, is that I am not so into crowd and worst, uncalled for group discussion on me!
 

rizaclark

New Member
Hello everyone in this forum...

I'm Riza new in this site...

May I join in this group... though we are married in Singapore (Sept 2005) but still planning for our American wedding + recpetion JUNE 2008...

*blushes*
 

listan

New Member
kao_happy.gif
Welcome Riza!!!

oh my!!! that's so thrilling!!! You know, I really am not getting enough of my wedding, I would be excited if I were to hold another wedding!

Are you starting the preparation already? Do you mean you are holding another wedding in State?
 

rizaclark

New Member
Thanks for the warm welcome Lissy
happy.gif


Yup preparing for another wedding can be both thrilling and stressful.

Started slowly... in the midst of doing alot of research and resourcing...

We are having another wedding coz we are going to do this for Sean's family and friends who could not attend our Malay wedding back in Sept 2005.

Among other things, its also like a "reunion" for both families and friends to come together... to celebrate our love with them.

Still figuring out, how an Irish + French + American with Asian flair wedding will look like.. since that is the cultural background for the both of us...

What about you... care for an introduction?

Hopefully to receive a favorable reply from you real soon. Thank you.

yours truly,
Riza
 

damsel

New Member
Hi Riza, welcome to the club! Wow having a 2nd wedding, that's really cool. I should have pester my hubby to hold one in Aust as well, by the way that'a where I am located at the moment.
 

listan

New Member
hi riza, I had my wedding on 01 Feb. Super fun and exciting, you may view my wedding site at http://mikeliswedding.simpleartsplanet.com. You will then be able to put a pic on the name.

I work from home, and these days RARELY go out of the house. Just return from Plaza Singapura which is my first outing in 3-4weeks' time..hahahaha.. Then guess what, my ezlink card showed 'Bad Debt'!! Oh my! Then I struggled through figuring out how to buy the single trip card, with tremendous stress when I sensed some murderous glares behind me..hahaaaa

Usually my husband, Mike would fetch me to/fro, but he has an appointment after dropping me at PS, so I came back on my own.

I was the bridesmaid of my good friend who had 2 weddings, one locally, another in Perth, as her husband is from Australia. Coordination can be a problem. So she had the gown made here, and brought it over. The groom however, got his suit rented from Aust, as he returned home several times before the wedding.

Before the actual wedding, they went Perth together once, so that they can do all coordination there, and get contacts of the respective people, and communicate via emails.

I'm sure yours would be wonderfully fun, Irish, French, American, Asian.. wow!!!! That alone, sounds heaps of fun!!!!!

Damsel, how about vow renewal??hahhaa..

Riza, keep us posted here, on your prep.. we would love to hear about it.. (Kay po arh?)
 

jasmine23

New Member
hi, mind if i join in.... i kind of addicted to dis website... i just married in jan dis yr...

wow riza... so envy u.... v doting hubby....
 

rizaclark

New Member
Thank you Damsel...

Lissy, I will view your wedding pics site soon.

Jaz, no need to envy lah...

Indeed I am blessed to have a wonderful hubby, family and friends...

Keep in touch, ladies...
 

jasmine23

New Member
hi anyone getting pregnant??? keke... i just miss my menses a few days... went to do the test... it looks positive.... any1 koe shld i go n c dr now o wait a few wks later to c again...
 

listan

New Member
Hi Jaz, hi tweetie!

jaz, excited for you! (I am trying to get pregnant, but not yet..hahha) Guess it's still early to consult a doc unless you feel unwell (touchwood), maybe you want to go get the preg test kit at pharmacy first?
 

jasmine23

New Member
hi lissy... just went to kkh yesterday... was informed by the dr dat m pregnant... haha... gg do a scan on thur....

oh, btw... anyone satying wif their in-laws after they married??? any problems??? do share... s i had been staying wif them since jan... still got a super long way to go...
 

listan

New Member
Congrats Jaz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband and I are staying with my parents, so I think that question has to be diverted to him to answer. I think it's easier for the guy (in general) to stay with the wife's family. Reason is that wife's parents tend to have lesser expectaion from the son-in-law.

Think partly it's the asian influence, that led to parents who have daughters to be lenient to the daughter's husband, in hope that this can help to ease any tension, and the son-in-law will treat their daughter better.

In addition, man seems to have lesser problem adjusting and blending into the new environment. Personally, I have my habits and preferences, and won't like the 'conventional' list of 'to dos' expect of daughter-in-law, so I am quite a difficult person to live with..haha.. so I will not live with my in-laws. It's not their problem, they are very nice folks, but I am difficult..heee

If you are accomodating person, think it should be fine living with in-laws.

p.s.. so excited for you!!!!! I mean the pregnancy
 

jasmine23

New Member
thanks lissy... just now got severe cramp... me v gan cheong... can't seem to bring forward my appt.... went tmc to chk it out... dr did a scan... say m 5 wks pregnant... he just ask me to rest @ hm... haha... so happy... at least is not ectopic pregancy... u planning yet???

s for staying wif in-laws... me 2 lahz... they r nice folks n m the 1 who is difficult to live wif.... haha... my clothes they r washing for me... though i ask them not 2... sme say i v pampered by them but from wad i c, i dink they pampered all lahz

but, still scare lol.... keke
 

listan

New Member
guess we are just those types who also super enjoy unduly worries..haha..

It's like trying not to impose others as much as we can, yet on the other hand, want to have our own privacy and ways of doing things. When we try too hard, we get stressed....LOL

I guess I hope to have a baby soon, but then eh, it's not really up to us, let nature takes it course eh.

Personally, it's ok to get pampered, if that is the method they shows they care and love. Asians are generally less verbal on things like that, their language is call 'action'..haha.. As long as no one is complaining, things are going well.

To keep yourself occupied and more mentally prepared, you may want to pick up some pregnancy books to read on. For me, it helps when I have info on hand, and in the 'know'..haha.. so you know that I am the type who stares at needle when given injection, I need to KNOW what is going on...more scared when I don't know when to expect the prick.
 

damsel

New Member
Hi Jaz &amp; Tweetie, welcome to the club.

Jaz congrats on your pregnancy. Dun worry about the cramps (unless its prolong) and if you find that there's a little bleeding, it's common since in the early stages of the pregnancy your body's hormone is adjusting to the fact that your period is stopping due to the presence of the foetus.
 

damsel

New Member
Hi Jaz &amp; Tweetie, welcome to the club.

Jaz congrats on your pregnancy. Dun worry about the cramps (unless its prolong) and if you find that there's a little bleeding, it's common since in the early stages of the pregnancy your body's hormone is adjusting to the fact that your period is stopping due to the presence of the foetus.
 

jsim

New Member
Hi all ladies,

glad to see this thread. I am a June 04 bride and currently has a 13mth old princess. It always fun to read the various thread.

Jaz

Congrats on your pregnancy. Make sure you have plently of rest and fluid. First trimester might be tiring and a little of getting used to. Just make sure that if you are tired do rest.
 

anemic

New Member
Hi,

Happen to bump in.

I used to frequent this link. Now I have just set up my eBay store, selling gemstones accessories. Opening today, just in time for Mother's Day.

Knowing the healing properties of real gemstones, we are specializing in gemstones accessories.

Click on the link below to find out the benefit of wearing gemstones.

E.g.
Amethyst as a healing stone contains sobering and calming qualities which allow this stone to be commonly associated with peace.

Please visit us.
http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQcatrefZC12QQfrtsZ25QQsassZhealingstoneaccessories
 

rizaclark

New Member
Hello ladies...

The thread here seems a little quiet...

Anyways, is it possible for us to keep in touch either thru MSN or YAHOO? I know some of you might have been busy with work and family.. but I do hope we can correspond despite the great distance. Coz I believe majority of you lovely ladies living in Singapore while I am living in the US. Sometimes need a friend to talk you know...

Lissy, you have email or not... you can kaypoh anytime one.. hehehe ;)

Want to post more in here... but shy leh.. *blushes*

Riza
 

listan

New Member
Hellow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been super busy lately, I rented a shop space in FE (just the shelf from the shop, not the entire shop, I am not so rich yet..haha) and hope to start my space rolling before May day, so super rushing to whip up inventory.

Riza very alone in foreign land arh? Which part of US arh? My friend just came back for good from 4 yrs stay in SF, I kind of miss catching her online during strange hours.haha.

My email is [email protected]. I will reply email of my msn address when you send me email eh.

I am the only one that is more flexi in time arh...hahaa
 

rabbitgal

New Member
Hello....

So glad got this thread. Got married in Dec 06. Kinda miss this forum. Got many info and help from here. Still trying very hard to get preggie. Always feel disappinted when my period comes.
 

listan

New Member
welcome Aurora.....

You were married 2 months before I. Let's wish all here who wants to get preggy wish comes true.

Hmm. then we will all consult the 'senior' such as Damsel for advices..heee
 

rabbitgal

New Member
Hi Lissy,

Ya lor. Getting preggie is not as easy as I thot.

Like Jaz, me living with PIL. They are not as lovable as I thot them to be. Got a lot of bad habits that I can't stand. But what to do... My hubby only son(he got 6 older sisters) and he super filial kind.
 

rabbitgal

New Member
Hi Cutie gal,

You got ppl to do your house yet? If not, can I can recommend my contractor? He's very good. I'm very happy with him. Will work within your budget. My frens saw my house and want him to do their house now.

Can PM me for contact if you need.
 

rabbitgal

New Member
Damsel - May I ask, the cramp you mention when in early pregnancy, is it like period cramp?

My period has always been very accurate until one month before my wedding(Dec06). It started to go haywire. We actually tried for baby one month b4 our wedding but never get. Now my period not accurate. Dun even know when i'm ovulating. How to get preggie? Sigh....

Now I'm quite anxious to get preggie b4 I become LKK (lao kok kok). Was hoping for a piglet but now cannot liao.
 

listan

New Member
ongfamy..welcome welcome!

rabbitgal arh... could it be stress that led to inaccurate period? My cousin used to purchase the ovulating kit from the pharmacy. Not sure if that helps. She had a baby boy soon after marriage, but then it seemed difficult to get pregnant, so she got this kit to help her gauge. She was then pregnant with twins, unidentical twins so to speak.

Riza, how have you been doing?

I have been super duper busy with the new retail spot which I rented from a shop (only a shelve space). Then my website has been down since I lost all the data on my HDD in March.. (sigh) The coding was all messed up, so I left the webiste 'under construction' hoping to 'migrate' teh web hosting service soon when I got money..hee.. spent quite a fair bit lately, so that has to wait.

Then, I started my arty crafty blog to showcase my creations so that visitor to my web can still click on the link to the blog to view what I am up to lately.

Feel free to help me review my blog at http://simpleartsplanet.blogspot.com.
 

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