A disturbing problem...

kuehdardar

New Member
My sister and I shared a room and I have got this disturbing problem with my sis. She has the habit of asking her friends to stay over our house. Last night, her good friend (a lady) and even her bf cramped and slept over the room we shared. I felt my privacy is sort of intruded cos I can't change in my room or wrap myself in a towel after showering cos it inappropriate to do that in front of her friends.

I dunno why was our room locked last nite? My sister and I don't lock our room door normally cos our Mum would pop by our room every morning, before she leave for work. I find this disturbing but dun dare to talk to my sister about this.

I told her gently that I somehow 'lost my privacy and maybe she should have her own room so that she can invite whoever she likes' but she just dismissed it with, 'its a once a while thingy mah, not everyday'. I really hate it when her bf would pop by our hse over the weekend and stay over the night. Usually, both of them would get up early and go to temple and pray the next day. I am worried that I would 'walk light' when sleeping and her bf may see it, cos they woke up earlier than me.

I don't ask my bf or my good friends to stay over. She said she wouldn't mind if any of my friends is sleeping over.
Is she being inconsiderate or am I being oversensitive? What should I do?
 


tamarind

New Member
Hi kueh DarDar,
I am surprised that your mother allows this ! A man sleeping in the same room with her 2 daughters ! Have you talk to your mother about this ?
 

stupeed

New Member
hi kueh, please tell your sister your privacy has been invaded and not to ask her friends over to sleep in the room with you as well. Perhaps they might like to sleep in the living room. Yes, half of it is your room as well...
 

kuehdardar

New Member
Errmm, they are not doing anything lah but I am not sure if my mom know about him staying over? Cos my sister is always so discretive about her bf sleeping over such as closing our room door before they turned in, even my sister bf's slippers are kept away in the nite, instead of lying at the corridor. Not sure if they are trying to cover up the signs that her bf is sleeping over? Maybe fear that my mom will see discover him early morning? I just wonder why can't my sister bf sleep in my bro's room, my bro is often overseas due to work posting. My sister just said, " He is not used to sleeping in his room". Abit pissed off loh, but what can I do??
 

kuehdardar

New Member
Ya man, this is my room too. My privacy has been intruded, grumbled to my bf about this but he said that just monitor the situation loh...I got a evil thought is that purposely do something such as opening our room door in the middle of the night, then my mom will 'discover' him in the morning...heh heh
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Then I will leave my mom to tell my sister off
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. Mean huh?
 

yule

New Member
Kuehdardar

Your sis is absurd! it could be her intention to drive u to your brother's room.

someone i know got molested by her sis' bf at nite, due to the frequent overnight stays!

request to change to your bro's room.
 

bluebells

New Member
I really suspect your mum doesn't know that your sis' bf is staying over. why don't your sound out your mum if she's aware that your sis' friends are staying over? If mum's aware, then maybe ask mum to tell sis that the friends can stay in your bro's room?
 

kuehdardar

New Member
uhoh.gif
I don't think so that he will attempt to molest me? My sister will sure beat the hell out of him.
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But I am just not comfortable that he is sleeping in the same room as me. Wondering if I should change to my bro's room. But what if my bro is back from overseas? Where can I sleep? Toilet? Heh heh...Kidding...

If I were to sleep in the living room or my bro's room, my sister will sure ask me, "what's wrong with you? Cos this is not the first time that my bf is slping over our hse mah." Maybe also good to let her know that I am 'protesting' about it liao...
 

kuehdardar

New Member
Ya man, I just wait for this weekend, if her bf is sleeping over again, I make sure that my mom knows about it, e.g. quietly open our room door in the middle of the night, throw out my sister's bf slippers into the corridor, then go back to sleep. So my mom will discover he is staying over...Then later hide his slippers(like what my sister did) before both of them wake up in the morning...But my mom not the vocal type, not sure if she will talk to my sister about it? If not, I gota endure this nonsense until I get my own flat.
sad.gif
 

yule

New Member
No, I mean "accidentally" molested you in the dark? Or peep at you in your pyjamas, how your legs open big big?

So what if u request a move now? u can say u hv met your limits at last!
 

rains

New Member
I find it weird that you don't tell your mother abt this. I think it's preposterous! She really should know abt this. Why should you suffer in silence? I think your sister is really selfish and inconsiderate and not knowing it.
 

tamarind

New Member
Aiyoh kueh DarDar, why don't you just tell your Mom or Dad about it ?

I remember my mother scolded me big time, and threaten to disown me, when she found me and my boyfriend (now hubby) in a room with the door and window closed. That was 16 years ago. I can't believe things have changed so much now.
 

september

New Member
kueh, i tink u shld tok to ur sis seriously and tell her tat u dun like to share the room wif stranger....and if her so call bf nt use to sleeping in ur bro room alone ask her to go sleep there wif him...tell her tat no guys are allow to sleep in the room especially her gf bf...so gou fen....ur room is nt a hotel room for all her frenz to cum and stay....if like tat then y nt she ask the whole family of her gf or bf to cum over to stay....
worse cum to worse....if her frenz cum over again...show ur black face to them as a form of 'u r nt welcome here'...btw, ur so call sis is older or younger than u?
 

jasiomne

New Member
I think you should talk to your sister you are not comfortable with stranger sleeping in your room. If your sis still cannot compromise, tell her you 2 will settle this issue through your parent. I am she will give in.
 

susanfoo

New Member
It is part of your room and i think you should have your rights lor.

Sometimes it is not a matter of afraid that it will affect your relationship with your sister. You should learn how to protect yourself and not being bully.
 

kuehdardar

New Member
Hmmm, its been a year...The situation more or less has improved but I do get ocassionally last minute "warning" from my sister that her gf is sleeping over or her bf is sleeping over in our room...

Just like last weekend, her bf was exhausted from long hour driving from JB early morning, my sister asked him to sleep on her bed (we shared a queen size bed), thought her bf nv slpt on the bed itself, he slpt on the corner of the bed using it as a pillow. When it was time for me to turn in, I told her that I can't sleep with her bf sleeping at the edge of the bed. She said it was all right. Think either she trust that her bf will completely not lay his hands on me, or the distance is too far away? Quite disturbing to sleep "together", in the end, I have to use my soft toys to pile it up high, in case that her bf accidentally stretch and touch me in the night...

Although it didn't happened before, I am scared that it will happen again. I get upset when I have to accomodate to these 2 inconsiderate idiots. I can't even sleep soundly because of his "presence". Thought of getting individual bed, but because I am due to get married in 1~2 years time, stopped me from getting individual bed.
 

d1amonds

New Member
OMG kueh, pls just tell your sis you DON'T want her bf to sleep in the room. It is also your room, you have the right to voice out. It is very very inappropriate that her bf slept in the same room with you two, and such close proximity.
I can't take it if my room is 'invaded' like that.
Can't you talk to your parents about this?
 

chipndale

New Member
hi mulberry u are here kpoing too!!

kuehdardar, this is the most ridiculous thing i have heard of!!! PLease tell ur sister to respect ur privacy!! how u put up with this for 1 whole yr is really admirable!

frankly, think you shld get one of those cheap beds foldable beds from ikea.. if ur sis refuses to spare a thot for u, and springs these kind of "surprise visit" on you again, at least u can just take ur pillow, blanket and go and sleep on the foldable bed in ur brother's room - i mean, its better to share with ur brother instead of some weird guy right??

have u told ur parents that u are uncomfortable with this sleeping arrangement thot up by ur sis? if they know, maybe they can tell ur sis bf to sleep on the sofa instead!! xiao lor!!
 

jgal

New Member
kueh dardar.. your bf never suggest any solutions?

hmm.. i guess it's time for you to do something instead of suffering in silence unless you have ba beng at your sister's hand. I dun see what is keeping you from telling your parents. Be mindful that this guy is just your sis's bf. Anytime the situation may change, and he may turn against your sis as well as you. *never know*
 

stormrider

New Member
Wah lau...some people just like to talk and talk but do nothing.

What do you really want, kuehDarDar?? Some cheap attention here in the internet? If so, then don't jump and complain about some non-existing 'attention' from your sis' bf, worrying he 'might stretch and touch you'...geez.

So far, there are more than three people here asking if you've told your parents, and you simply ignored their questions (and advices). So what you want really?

Tell your parents, make it a point to disallow any stranger to sleep in anymore. Mind you, it was you who complained that beside your sis' bf, her friends also dropped by for a good night sleep. So after one year, you're still here complaining about the same old problem?

Assuming you're fifteen last year, now you're already 16. Legal age for sex, and considered an adult for court trial. So how long more you wish to complain is entirely up to you. Take care and wish you the best.
 

mocha_lover

New Member
i seriously think you shld do something, and really make it a point to not have your sis's friends or even bf to sleep together on a same bed. I find it really disturbing,even ur bf doesnt do anything and just wait and see situation. I mean huh? Like that only, so see see and do nothing? Doesnt he feel unsafe/worried for you?

Even a outsider (ur sis bf), the courteous/polite way to sleep in is to get a foldable mattress! And he can sleep on the floor, or both ur sis and bf sleep on the floor. How can 3 person share a queen size bed?!! if worst come to worst, you can buy a small mattress and sleep on the floor when ur sis bf is coming over to sleep. But as a guest, he shld be the one sleeping on the mattress or somewhere else rather than with 2 girls on the same bed.
We can always dicuss of the possible solution or methods but will you put action to it?

I wish you all the best too.
 

sweetsirl

New Member
wah... ur sista reali don know how to write "die" haiz.. how old is she ar? its time for her to use more of her brain.. I fierce ma? ha.. but seriously lo.. i share room with my 2 sista(one elder and one younger) but we don have this problem only untidiness and some small fights.. thats all.. we are frank.. no means no.. all of us have bf but no this prob.. this is call respect.. haiz.. throw abit of tantrum.. let her know u are pissed.. is cannot tolerate anymore.. don be so scare of her confrontation.. be firm.. all the best..
 

descrt

New Member
You know how to solve the problem? Get your bf to sleepover also hahaha... see how your sister feels if he sleeps on the same bed... If she complains, you just say it is okay one lah... Then if she is in your shoes..maybe she will wisen up to the fact that your discomfort is a real problem...

If she has no problems with it.. and still ask her bf to stay over.. then good luck liaoz... Your bro doesn't oppose to such things meh..?
 

sher555

New Member
EXPOSE YOUR SISTER!!! SABO SABO!!! Lol. Worse come to worse keep pepper spray under your pillow lor. Heh XD
 

sharingtruth

New Member
Hey Kueh DarDar, wonder if your mum knows how you are feeling about that.

You said you mum would pops by in the morning to check you girls out,so the door is normally not lock. And it's not right and weird for your sis's friend to lock the door,like you had mentioned. I believe you should share this with your mum. And hopefully get things sorted out. You said you sis's friend will stayover during the weekends,if it's like every weekends, that's totally not 'once in a while thingy' so tell her that.

And tell her that you need your own privacy. Tell her to respect you for that.
 

lexiebaby

New Member
hey i really think its inapproriate for her bf to be in the same room with 2 girls. he may be a nice guy but its jus to avoid implications.
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carlislesg

New Member
it is really disturbing and what your sister did was not right. if she's okay being with anyone in her room, she should have at least respect your privacy in the first place.
 

lindamin80

New Member
This is BIG issue and should not wait anymore. Your action to tell them off would prevent and deter a lot of issue. A big saying, be safe than sorry. Pls act now
 

susy27

New Member
yes, you should make your sister understand how would she feel if she were you.
Maybe you are married already and have kids and we are still giving to your advices.
But the majority of the opinions were that your sister is wrong and she indeed broked your privacy and intimacy .
If i were in a similar situation I would not tolerate and would tell my mother about it...
 

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