A difficult marriage

[creditz]

Hi, I am just 23, got married to last year and desperately need advices from fellow forum members about problems with my current wife.

Please share your thoughts whether I should exit my current marriage or it's just normal to face these in a marriage.
- She controls what clothes to wear, food to eat, places to go. Other than that, she also limits me on hobbies that I would like to enjoy like she will always say no when I start doing my hobbies, telling that I 'don't care' about her.
- She pushes all the housework to me. I do all cleaning, washing and ironing and simply say 'because you are my man' or.. 'you love me, right?' We both work with similar pay but why must I do everything? I don't think she has the right to treat me like a servant?
- She got worked up with simplest thing. My parents had warned me that she is short tempered.
- Too often she comes up with 'jokes' and comments that really irritate me. It can be something like 'Can I sleep with this guy?' or 'can I marry that guy?'.
- She is rather manipulative, knowing that she is good in talking. Too bad most arguments I always lost so I just give in to her even though I don't think her opinions are incorrect...

 

[misericordia]

Hi Teng Choon,

Wow. scary isn't it. Did she show any slightest sign that she is manipulative during the courtship days?

I'm getting married in November and I don't wanna faced this only after marriage. Anyway, both of us have the same hobby. My fiancee and I have ironed out issues in life and family and resolving difference too but we have never once shouted or quarrel with each other after one year of R/S. We have discussed about house work or maintenance of a house in a marriage preparation course and we are prepared for our future.

Well, besides having your own hobby, do you take part in hers too? May not necessarily be "hobby" but can be the simplest thing like shopping endlessly with her. From here, I guess she needs your attention and I think woman wants man attention too.

I think you shouldn't exit marriage just because of all these she's been doing to you. You should talk to her about house work sharing. Having a family entails house keeping too and not just relationship matters. Communication is the best tool. Sharing is part of compromise too. Never assumed what she is thinking. Talk it out and never afraid what she may think. She would just clarify with you or you could too. In the army there's a saying, "Assumption is mother of all f**K-ups!".

If you truly love her, you will want to discuss issues with her and keep this marriage as long as possible.
All the best.

 

[delin88]

Hi Tan,

In the first place you have already chose her as your wife who you really want to live with for the rest of your life.
Sumtimes in marriage, wife or either hushband intends to Rules the house and it happen all the time.

Standard of living, habit, behaviour, character,
of a person whether bad or good will know best when you live 24 hrs with that person.

i suggest you let out the unhappiness in you to her and empty your sorrows quickly before any bad can happen which all thinking is "divorce".
Please dun do that try salvage the marriage and dun ever regret with the women you chose your wife.

 

[violac]

creditz... it's NOT normal and it's definitely not healthy for a marriage. BUT, exit is not necessarily the best solution.

my guess is you hadn't attended marriage prep course before you got hitched? if she recognises that both of you are in an unhappy marriage, it'd be good if you could go for such courses/counselling.

both of you need to learn that marriage is not about one giving, and the other receiving. giving in all the time probably would just lead to an explosive reaction from you at the end.

she needs to find her romantic securities in more stable factors e.g. hardworking husband with a career, rather than based on types of activities/clothes/food that is to her wants.

i won't really think she's a harmful/poisonous kind of wife... just wilful (i'm assuming she's young as you are or younger?)

if a frustrated respond/threat comes from you, think she'd be scared and drop her attitude?

but seriously... do find a model couple who has been working at their marriage for many years (parents??) or even younger but steady married couple whom you both respect to be your mentors along the way.

 

[skylar]

Wahhh piang eh..

Did u just married a TERRORIST??

Like wat stickymouse said.. this is NOT NORMAL!!
For god sake! Do u think u even need to ask about this??

but funny thing is dun u already know her during ur courtship days?? Or are u trying to say that she has just changed overnight?

I think besides her being the problem! You are als A PROB! coz u shd not let her have her way! for ex for hsework - let her do the lighter & more girlie ones & u do the more tough & manly one lah.. (u can also use back that tactic on her.. Say.. U my wife rite? u r supposed to help also mah.. u love me??)

As for hobbies, I see no reasons why she shd stop urs unless ur hobbies are those bad kinds.. talk to her abt it..

As for controlling wat u wear.. that is TOTAL bullshit lah.. plss!! How old are u already?? U r the MAN rmb?? How can u even allow it to happened??

As for short tempered then bor bian liao. its how u tackler her patience then..

As for her airheaded jokes & comments, its either u feed her the same like (asking her how she will like it if u bed that babe or that babe damn chio, big boobs etc) or just crudely tell her off, I dun think this is funny and its worth talking about. (in another words - a FIRM SHUDDUP!)

Hope these helps..

 

[creditz]

To formes peccati, thanks for your advice.. Yes, it is scary for me. Actually I can see her being rather manipulative since before we got married, but I was being too naive to think that I can be patient and got over it... after being some time with her, it really boils me to ask myself 'gosh.. how long I have to do this?!'

Anyway congrats for ur marriage in November, wish u all the best.. well.. talking about hobbies, ours are never the same. I would not blame her or anything, but if she does not have any hobbies or interests other than shop, at least let me enjoy mine... I talked about this before but always ended up to arguments so I just forget about it. I don't do any activities anymore nowadays, no gym, no sports...

I talked about marriage preparation course with her, and she just reply me 'It's useless and boring'. Anyway, I will try harder to discuss the problems, maybe getting a maid instead to resolve the housework issues. Thanks

 

[leftbehind]

Hi Teng Choon..

Hm.. sounds like there are some serious character traits in your partner that you are very concerned about. In fact if you dun mind I would boldy say that in due time, if these remains unresolved, divorce may seems inevitable.

But as for now. Give it your best shot before thinking of exiting.

Once u start thinking of exiting, you will begin to feel more and more trap in the marriage, and soon enough You will exit.

Do your best to let her know how her behaviour has been causing u some heartache and turmoil and let her know that u treasure her that's why u are telling her. If talking to her will go to possible confrontation mode, talk to her in the presence of a third party.. (someone whom she knows) so that she will not feel threatened.

With a third party, it highlights the seriousness of the matter.. and your wife, will often start to be awakened and alert.

Many times, unreasonable or violence behaviour persist, because family members choose to help them keep under wraps. Not knowing that by doing so, they are condoning their behaviour.

Above all, know that, you are an active agent of your life. Try not to take on a passive role. but be actively involved in the change process of your marriage as well.

take care.

 

[green_tranquility]

TTC,
You need to have a talk with your "mentally-abusive" wife. If I'm u, I would have gone nuts after some time.

For housechores, you can consider get part-time cleaner to pop by once a week. It's cheaper.

 

[pinkhippo2002]

if you just kept quiet, she wouldn't have a clue you are so unhappy

Tell her (nicely) or drop her an email if writing is easier for you

Give her some time to digest, don't expect an overnight change

 

[creditz]

Hi delinbb, thanks for your comments..

Sigh, well maybe it's true that in any marriage sometimes it's the husband who rules the house while some others it's the wife who does.. About housework, maybe what I can do is that I just continuously look at the situations and get her to be involved in housework when the timing is correct or she is in better mood. Maybe we can hire a maid in the future instead, even though it's sure rather costly for us...

My suggestions for all of you who are not yet married... if your future husband or future wife tells you that he/she wants you to do something, or seemed to starting pushing responsibilities to you... always take the matters seriously, always negotiate before agreed. If you think you can just say 'yes' just to avoid arguments, you are bringing yourself into deeper trouble in the future when you stay together...It's better to argue about the matter at that moment and get yourself satisfied the agreements rather than dealing with politics in your marriage as in a workplace. Trust me, that's what I did not see last time and it really took me a hard time to deal with her everytime she brings out "Oh! but you said before, that you would....".

 

[violac]

but is your housework problem merely a matter of "who's doing what"??

or does it go deeper that the wife is only demanding but never offering out of love? in this case... part-timers or maid is not going to solve your problem

even if this character trait does not surface in household chores aspect, it will still arise in other areas.... (perfect example, restricting your hobby)

 

[violac]

question... what does your wife do to show her love for you?

 

[creditz]

Hi stickymouse, my wife is at the same age as me. Well, the sad things is that what you have said were true... Sometimes I explode when things are getting too irritating to me. I work as hard as her but once we come home from work,she can rest while I still have to do the housework. Otherwise our house would left unmaintained and we would not even have any clothes to wear. Other than marriage prep course that we did not attend, do you know any kind of counselling or strong article for her to read and evaluate, to widen her views about marriage?

 

[creditz]

To Skylar, hahaha terrorist? I have told her that she is abusive. We got into a heavy argument because of that and broke up. Later, we got up together again after few months and she promised to change (eventhough not a lot, but there are tiny improvements). Hmm...I think I have some ideas in getting her to do more of the girlie work you mentioned, I'll see how will it be...
Using same tactics and responses like what you said? I tried before and she can just answered coldly 'Oh ok loh.. I don't love you' and buzz off or getting things messier.. sigh! She's so good with all these manipulation and reverse psychology.

 

[delin88]

a pity for you... Tan.
Try this time you act tough and show damn hot tempered to her just to scared her off this time.
(i hope she not read this)keke
Then next day, shower her with flowers and touchy notes. (saying i do that cos i love you)

 

[crazy_guy]

u both are too young to get married...dunno wat is called marriage...n if recent statistic is to go by, break up will be just a matter of time..

 

[creditz]

To Foreverleftbehind, thanks, I'll try to put that thinking for divorce away from this moment. About involving third party, I may have someone (her close friend that have already known about the actual situation between me and my wife) to help. I will consider your advice but I will put her the risk of losing the friendship with my wife. I will talk to her in case she would not mind to take that risk to help me. Thanks again for your advices

 

[creditz]

Anyway, I will not be online during holiday and weekend, but I will read and take into account any advices when I online.. Thanks again all... Take care.

 

[creditz]

To stickymouse, basically in general, other than housework and when we were not facing disagreements (which she will start showing me that I should alwyas 'listen to her'), she's quite loving towards me. So maybe the main problem is that she's rather a control freak and the other thing is that she has this mindset that once she got married, she has the priviledged to be treated like a queen (forgetting that we are both tired from working, got individual needs).

 

[leftbehind]

No worries..

You have been kind to her.. giving her chances doesn't mean condoing her. loving her means loving yourself.. Unless you can be true to yourself and love yourself, your love for her is not there yet.

There is a difference between being wanting to be a loving husband verses, loving her.

 

[violac]

hey Tan, i'll see what i can find on marriage articles/books to recommend. that can only come later...

in the meantime, long weekend is coming. how about negotiating for ONE day where you both will do what you like to do? Go take up an activity this weekend that you like, you plan the day and call all the shots. And see that she enjoys herself doing the things you do too

it might just turn out fun, and she'd appreciate the needs that you have

 

[powder]

yo Teng Choon,

1st mistake - Marrying her without more thought.

2nd mistake - Ongoing... not leaving her.

Exit your marriage as soon as u can, but in a calmly amicable manner... sort of like how u should leave a building on Fire.

3rd mistake - typing a Name as a nick (hopefully it's not your real name. and if It's not - u better hope u dun sabo some guy of the same name if his wife reads this forum!)

ok Lighter moments aside, this is a serious issue... serious becos u're on the way to having it escalate to a scale that will soon be beyond your control... in fact u might already be there...

let's face it - u're a pushover. and u married someone who pushes pple all the time... u call it a marriage, i call it a Master/Servant relationship complete with an ROM cert. In fact i DISAGREE with everyone here telling u to stay for some reason or another, i DISAGREE with marriage preparation course cos that course Doesn't turn abusive women into Angelic understanding housewives nor partners... it's meant to prepare u for marriage, It doesn't turn u into a marriage-able person.

Dude it's Her way or the Highway... do u actually have a say where it's a Say?

- She controls what clothes to wear, food to eat, places to go???!!! WTF? i think the Clothes-one is Absofcukinglutely-ridiculous. Are u a freakin Ken from ken&barbie? she CONTROLS???

- she also limits me on hobbies that I would like to enjoy like she will always say no when I start doing my hobbies, telling that I 'don't care' about her... - this is OK if u guys dun have enough time together as it is, But u have to watch for mentally-abusive methods.

- She pushes all the housework to me. I do all cleaning, washing and ironing and simply say 'because you are my man' or.. 'you love me, right?' - this one is definitely abusive and preying on your weak spot. she found your G-spot.. and it's not orgasm u're getting. Think abt how this will be 30yrs from now... i think u see those aunties forever screwing this uncle who simply keeps quiet... THAT'S the Picture.

- We both work with similar pay but why must I do everything? I don't think she has the right to treat me like a servant? - If u act as the servant and do what the servant does... then trust me - She is the Master... which makes u the.... ?

- She got worked up with simplest thing. My parents had warned me that she is short tempered. - Yup, that's part of the package... a little thing out of line, not perfect in her world and THAT'S IT!

- Too often she comes up with 'jokes' and comments that really irritate me. It can be something like 'Can I sleep with this guy?' or 'can I marry that guy?'. - it's not a joke leh, she testing How far is your threshold... when u show no tolerance, i'm pretty sure she'll be sleeping behind your back soon.

- She is rather manipulative, knowing that she is good in talking. Too bad most arguments I always lost so I just give in to her even though I don't think her opinions are incorrect...
- THERE U GO! THE SOURCE! THE ROOT! THE REASON! - u ARE a PUSHOVER. dude, being a nice guy and being a bully-victim are TWO entirely different things!!! u're a Bully Victim.


Marriage is TWO-WAY. do u think it'll ever be two-way? if u dun, and u're in it... then there's only One-way, isn't there?

if u love your wife, u've gotta Leave her. she will never learn unless she learns from society... it's gonna be hard to find men like u who are such wonderful prey to abusive women, so she can only get better. but with u, u're already such a comfortable punching bag that u can't suddenly punch back, can u?

if u dun leave her, i want u to Remember this... and u BETTER FCUKING REMEMBER THIS - Dun Have Kids. dun u ever have kids if things stay the same. your life as u know it will just be lived in hope for hope that has died... u will lose everything u ever believed in... before u even get a shot at making your Life fulfilling...

this is serious stuff... i dun recommend staying in denial and hoping things will change and be Nice and Dandy... cos it only has a 2% chance of that?

Oh 1 more thing - u dun seem very in love with her... neither does she treat u like she loves u... This marriage is as hollow as the scams involving foreign women marrying local men.

 

[inspectorate]

Tan Teng Choon,

I sympathise with you. Having a wife who operates on a different wavelength and does not behave as a "normal wife' can be a pain or rather a thorn in the flesh. Honestly, I do have my regret in marrying my wife but since I am already married, I have no choice but to come to terms with it. Knowing that I hate divorce, my wife will not hesitate to show me her prowess when she is pissed off. She told me numerous times that I should accept her the way she is but only she has the legitimate right to be pissed off with me. One night, we had a big argument and she even ran away from home and start condemning me like nobody business. she will NEVER admit she is in the wrong whereas i am always expected to take the initiative and make up with her regardless of who is at fault. I can only say that we have one thing in common, we are damn unlucky to marry the wrong person. Honestly,we are not legally married, i would have take a rocket and flee towards another planent already.

 

[powder]

Inspectorate...

u're one sad soul... i will pray for u becos if u had it in u, u would have left.

 

[danieltiger]

hi tan,

then how's your sex life? is it normal

 

[green_tranquility]

TTC,
I know you are trying to be a nice hubby. However, you probably contributed to your wife's abusive and manipulative behaviours by spoiling her too much.

Example to illustrate some human nature:
When the kid cries, her mum gives in to all ridiculous requests. Of course, the kid will continue to use crying as an emotional blackmail to get her way in future.

 

[leftbehind]

I wonder what will happen if the mum also cries together with the kid.. and say something like.. I wanna give it to you.. but cannot and it hurts me that I can't give u wat u want..

Wat u think the kid will say?

or how will TTC's wife respond?

hehe

 

[powderful07]

TTC,

Sorry, young man, no lovey dovey comments from me as well.
Think powder have already pretty much said it all...

I'm usually the one with the strong language and harsh words for weak-minded fools or idiots...
And powder's usually the one with the more serene and sensible approach...

For powder to be so worked up, it does takes quite a considerable effort...

In all honesty, your first post and subsequent posts have revealed to us what sort of person that you are...a PUSHOVER...
Combining a person like you with a woman who is as manipulative and childishly-irresponsible like your wife is a recipe for YOUR LIFE being a complete disaster from now on...so wake up now and freaking do something about it...Hiring a maid IS NOT GOING TO FREAKING MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY!!! Geez!!!

Take a step back and think about it...
- Her seemingly "jokes" and comments shows a distinct lack of respect for you as her husband. Is that what you said to someone you loved and is already married to?

- Her comments when manipulating you to do housework is also another classic example. WTF have doing housework got to do with proving one's love? In the old days, does a slave work for his master cos he loves her?

- And so what if she had a short temper? You should have done the correct thing RIGHT from the beginning and sorted it out there and then.
Let her throw her hissy fits for all she can, just stand firm if you think that you're in the right. AND NOT avoid confronting the situation. You dont let a spoilt kid have her way all the time. That will only encourage her.

I'm not going to encourage divorce YET at this stage. Do something about it. If you dont see any improvements in the near future, get outta this freaking master-slave relationship.

Seriously man, fcuking grow a set of balls, can?

PS : REALLY!...Dont even entertain any thoughts of having any kids now...

 

[bloodparrot]

yah powderful07

agreed u are one w a strong language & harsh words , but i guess u are just being expressive.. which i think really works for ppl who really are too depress to see they are in the midst of self-destruction..

 

[powder]

have seen such relationship escalate to a point of hopelessness...

pple tell u to work on the marriage becos it's the right thing to do... nothing wrong with that. But if 1 party is fundamentally Very Flwaed and basically not even a decent soul, then what's there to really hope for? an entire 180degrees change?

carry tat hope to your death and bring along with u a lifetime of regrets for staying in a bad marriage for too long til u're numb and no longer find meaning in life but just stay becos u think it's the right thing to do... another life fcuked.

actually it's the poor parents who will suffer... i seriously thing even fillial piety will have to take a back seat in time to come...

 

[taren]

u r soooo stupid to give in to her.
Be a man! do the right thing

 

[miloice]

there is no one formulae for every couple. BUT, ask yourself. What do you really need and want in your marriage and life partner?

Think over it. No one can go on denialing yourself.

 

[taren]

why u marry so early?
how old ur wife

 

[bloodparrot]

I think marriage is not solely what U want and need, but also what u can give him/her and how to ensure both of u can be happy with each other, seeing each other happy makes the other happy too

taren
he said his wife same age as him.. very young hor.. *sign* so fast tie themselves down

 

[goooogal]

TTC, save ur youth. Just admit ur mistake and move on. Dun be a sad uncle next time and then come back here to lament abt how ur wife has fcuked up ur life but u din have the balls to get out of the rut.
Save ur youth so u can find someone who will appreciate ur kind-hearted nature.
Save ur youth so u can make full use of it to grow into a person of success.
Save ur youth so u never look back w regret.

 

[margie]

taren,
err, what's wrong giving in to the wife? a doting hb usually gives in to the wife hor..

what's wrong with marrying young? I married at 19.. Am still married to the man i choose at 19. and we are celebrating our 9th anniversary soon!

 

[goooogal]

Lazylaydee, erm did u read from the top? Nothing wrong w giving into wife Provided wife is Deserving. Nothing wrong w marrying young Provided u pick the Right person. Both strikes are OUT for TTC... Congrats on ur upcoming 9th anniv tho..

 

[margie]

G-gal,

he has apparently choose to "spoil" his wife from the beginning.. So, y only complain now?

As a wife, i think we just deserve to be spoiled by our own lao gong loh.

There is not Right person.. It's how u make the person right for u since both have already choose to say "i do"..

TTC now has to manage his wife's expectations and not push the blame to being married at a young age or his wife for being in control of his life. Perhaps he was not in control of his own life to begin with that's his wife has to control him instead.

Of cos, i think the wife is also absolutely stupid to make some comments like sleeping with another man..

 

[leftbehind]

Wow.. TTC , must be an overwhelming chain of responses you've gotten so far.

All I wanna add is, when a marriage breaks down, its a 50-50 thingy. I like powerful's message , quote 'Do not avoid confrontation and stand firm', I think this is necessary.. To confront doesn't means to be aggressive. It means to be assertive. To assert your views and stick to your opinions.

If you decided you wanna go running tomrrow, inform her and do it irregardless of what she say, irregardless of the music you might face later.

In doing that, you are being truthful to yourself and you feel happier.

On a sidenote, you have been brave to still wanna stay on and give her and yourself a chance. I pray that this staying on would means, you doing something different in how you respond towards her. Because if no changes are introduced, I hate to say that it may be again another two broken hearted people that we might be seeing.

Take care and think through carefully. Powder gave many good pointers.. so yes, do think thru.

Have a good weekend.

 

[margie]

TTC, i think you also need to get this mentality out of ur brain! "We both work with similar pay but why must I do everything?" When u do something for your wife, it should be done out of love for her.. Because u don't want her to get tired etc. if you keep thinking negatively of your spouse, even if she's the best wife, she will also become the worse one for u..

 

[miloice]

"she will NEVER admit she is in the wrong whereas i am always expected to take the initiative and make up with her regardless of who is at fault."

Well... this isn't exactly very uncommon? But does it make life miserable? Not really.

Look at the bigger picture. Her reactions sometimes is because how we 1st reacted too. I pamper my wife alot too. Mostly, I eat the humble pie. Sometimes, when too moody or tired to do that, I will just withdraw till a time I'm more ready to work things out.

Main thing is, stop the blaming game. There is no one way that a marriage must work. Don't burn your bridges over childish arguements. Face it, when you accuse your partner for being childish, why choose to be equally childish in your reactions? You can influence and guide a childish spouse to grow up too. Don't just expect your partner to be mature and everything when u just give in and shelter her.

 

[benji69]

TTC, although your wife is quite terrible from what you say, I think we may be hearing only one side of the story. There may be certain issues with you which result in your wife doing those things.

For example, you may be naive or simply stupid, like putting your real name on this forum! So, your wife being cleverer needs to tell you what to do.

I myself have a bad fashion sense and I eat all sorts of junk food. So, my wife controls everything I wear and decides where to go for meals, though she will usually let me eat what I want. My wife buys everything for me, from shirts to ties to underwear to socks. I am quite happy to let her do it! No big deal to me. I recognise my own weakness in this area.

Housework, we share. She does all the normal cleaning, washing, ironing etc. I do all the heavy stuff and/or dirty stuff like washing car. She nags at me to do more, but I guess that is normal. Yours is definitely not normal, if you have to do everything. And, getting a maid is not going to solve the problem. You need to get this right in the first place.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with her and tell you in no uncertain terms that this cannot go on. Quarrel and make up if you must.

 

[vios]

Creditz Tan

Your posts might implied that you are a Mr Nice Guy to your wife, but I feel that there is a major weakness to ponder over - your Problem Solving skills. I believe this is the root of your current problems, and maybe, in other aspects of your life.

Re. the above list of your grievances, you ALLOW her to control your life although you DISAGREE SILENTLY. How the heck would she not continue to do so considering your proclaimation of her control-freak behaviour? Yeah.... you might have had voiced out something (that prob has been on your mind for the longest time) during arguments/quarrels, but didn't you return to your comfy shell right after that?
Either way, your words are making no impact on her unreasonable behaviour, or you chose a wrong time to tell her your feelings (during quarrel?).

Believe me...... even you get out of this marriage, you are likely to find a similar predicament unless you are getting a Vietnamese gal who prob doesn't communicate/nag at all due to the language barrier anyway.

 

[vios]

Inspectorate

since you believe that luck has alot to do with your current situation (as implied in your post), no doubt in my mind you should trust 101% in Giggs Lim for an answer to your marriage woes.....

 

[vios]

lazylaydee, you wrote:

"what's wrong giving in to the wife? a doting hb usually gives in to the wife hor.... As a wife, i think we just deserve to be spoiled by our own lao gong loh."

- If it doesn't involve emotional/mental abuse, i think it's fine...
And the wife has to learnt to manage her own expectations as well.... not only the hubby.
-------------------------------------------------

""When u do something for your wife, it should be done out of love for her.. "

- Yes, but not BLINDLY. If you are encouraging Creditz Tan to do things(in his above list) for his wife out of love, then i think it is self-deluding.... in his case, obviously he is unhappy liao... how so could he do that??

 

[eunice82]

Hey Tan i envy your wife!!! if only my next half is like you... i guessed i am like you and i am going NUTS!

 

[blueberrytea]

i wonder how's TCC now (seeing no reply at all from him).

anyway, would like to share my view.

It could be, your little bride feels you are NOT being sensible or making sound decisions. That's why she's doing this.
Hobbies wise - maybe yours is more expensive than what she would agree to?
Why must go to gym to use those jogging track? Play basketball, go swimming etc cannot?
Still exercising what.

you didn't state the amount of money you spend on each piece of clothing, eateries etc. And her choice will cost how much.
Maybe she's just trying to save the $ ?

Doing housework - right. Both are tired, it's better to share.
it's either she's treating you as a slave, or she's training you to be better in doing housework.

jokes - is she trying to make you feel jealous? To make herself feel secure that you still love her despite all those things she's making you go through?

 

[its_fate]

Coz this thread is "DEAD" for more than 1yr old... Hiazzzzzzz...... Really wonder y ppl never read the date of posting b4 replying.....

 

[giantemu]

from what i see...its not simply he loves her hence giving in to her. there is no mutual respect in the marriage.

yah no reply from TCC - i hope he is not chained up in the bomb shelter or something like that.