3rd party


New Member
Hi all,

Me and my fiancé are getting married in November this year. Just today, he told me he met a new girl and is having second thoughts about our relationship. He says he still have feelings for me but it is slowly turning into responsibility more. I asked him whether it is because of pre wedding jitters thus having this urge to find a new girl but he went on explaining about how comfortable he is with the girl and how similar they are. Now, everything has been booked like the hotel, videographer, photography, wedding planner and even honeymoon. Thus, I am really lost as to what has to be done to salvage this relationship. I am not ready to give this up and I'm willing to give him another chance if he decides that he wants to go on with the wedding. But what if worst case scenario is that he decided to call off the wedding. What should I do?


New Member
hey if you really love him i suggest you dont give up.
it happened to me a year ago.. i fought really really hard even thou he said so much nasty things to me everyday wanting to divorce wanting me to give up..

but after awhile he realized he was wrong, i forgived him and we are happy together now..


New Member
If u think the love is worth while, i think you should go the mile and salvage this.
It's common to have second thoughts.. and the temptation to try sth new bcos we will always wonder if it might be the better option.
But if u've put in a commitment to forgive, u should never raise this issue again in your relationship.. not even as a 'trump card'..


New Member
Remind him of why you 2 got together in the first place and how it got to being where you both are today. Maintaining a relationship is never easy and when it gets mundane or tiresome, we often tend to seek new thrills. Every new relationship starts out exciting, fun and it is easy to assume that he might prefer her more. Ask him, once the novelty with the other girl wears off and he meets someone new, is he going to repeat this process again? You can salvage this relationship because of love but can you accept it if there comes girl 2 or 3 along the way?

This is just my opinion, I can't psych you into doing something you don't want to. So the ultimate decision lies in you. But I say that if he is determined that he prefers to be with that new girl, then let him go because his heart is no longer with you.


Active Member
Sorry to be very brunt.
He could hv start something aldy with this ger. (just sugarcoat it to blame on "responsibility")
No guy in the right mind will jeopardise a marriage over a "nice new ger " who he just met, unless something happened. Alot to give up, financially, explaination to family etc etc.
The fact he telling u all these, bcos he is almost certain he is into this new ger than u..

Will u ok to salvage if he slpt with her aldy.
Are u ok if he marry you and he continue to date that ger out?
He might try to keep the best of both world, if u continue to salvage this rs.

lastly, if he is gettin marry, how the hell he meet a new ger? obviously he has been meeting new gers behind your back.
This will continue after your marriage.. u sure u ok?



I have not posted for a while. Just hope to leave my 2 cents worth. Being a 'recovering' wife of an affair, this road of bearing with a 3rd party in a relationship is indeed not easy. Despite it may seems the man is back by your side, told you frankly instead of just finding excuses to call off the wedding, he has indeed been tempted. He might as mentioned by others earlier, already started a relationship with her and is just trying to neutralise things. It's up to you, do you want to probe and find out how deep thier relationship went? Talking it out with your fiance might be the best way now. However, you might need to first ask yourself how prepared are you to deal with details and be clear of your options.

I regret in a way, probing too much about my husband's affair. He told me everything including those disgusting things that woman offered and how many times he went hotel rooms with her and stuff she said. His intention then according to him, was that he wants to be truthful in everything from that point on, so if we decide to get back tog, he had nothing to hide. Not sure if that's how guys handle things. Frankly, i was devastated then but almost a year on now, i despise him more. That woman obviously was playing mind games with him, more pro than those on tv serials ..yet he fell for it! Lust! Hai.. Almost a year on, though we got back together and things seems to be back to normal, i m still tormented by those details. Stupid me too.

Well, my point is, do consider the repercussions of dealing with 3rd party or imminent 3rd party. If this relationship is worth a lot to you, look beyond all those banquet n honeymoon plans, ask yourself if you still want this man, at this stage where he wavers in his feelings for you and his lack of committment. All the best! Hope you will find the best for yourself soon.