3 Most Common Reasons Couples Fight?

denise80

Active Member
Stumbled upon this website: http://sg.shoppinglifestyle.com/love/3-most-common-reasons-couples-fight/1989/1/

Interesting that the 3 most common reasons are:
1. $$$
2. Housework
3. In-laws

I think if most of the above don't work out, men/women will then start looking elsewhere?

My problem with my hubby used to be $ it's solved since then. As for housework and in-laws, we never had problems. I'm blessed with great in-laws (plus the fact that both my hubby and I value family time with both our families) and housework is shared amicably without the need to create any sort of silly system or duty roster.

What else do you married couples fight over? The other woman? Before 'the other woman' appears, do you all have communication problems on the above?
 


cococherry

New Member
Denise,

We have no $, housework and in law issues. Both of us have similar flaws and we couldn't tolerate each other's fiery temper. Haha
 

denise80

Active Member
chocolate,

yeah I can understand. Another common reason could be personality clash but usually that's not that common after marriage because I would think that we would usually marry someone whose personality doesn't clash with our own hehe...but guess sometimes that happens and some couples in fact thrive on such bickerings

For me, my hubby and I are quite different...oh yes, the only thing I couldn't stand him is his impatience in driving..other than that, he's surprisingly a more patient person than I am..funny.
 

cococherry

New Member
Theres a soft side of him hidden beneath his bad temper. I will keep quiet whenever he berated at me, after which he will apologize for his behavior. He was my good friend before we became a couple and I know him too well. I used to play mind games with him when we were friends and this still work.
I do not know why but find him funny when he gt angry with me over some silly matters.
Of course, there were twice I couldn't hold back my anger and I counter back with vulgarities and I nearly wanted to smash his head with something
happy.gif

There was this incident that my mom maligned me abt something and she continue to scold me though I had told her the culprit wasn't me. I took a pail of water and splash at her, she nearly kick me out of the house but she took initiative to talk to me few days later. Think there's a limit to how one can endure certain nonsense. Our tolerance towards each others nonsense are low but we are rationale enough to talk things out shortly after arguments.
 

denise80

Active Member
Wow..looks like you have anger management issues hehe...I at most slam my door and spew vulgarities at my mum when I was young. Usually when I'm angry, I'll kick the door, slam the door or punch the wall but I seldom take it out on people next to me hehe..
Hence I cannot find someone like me...it'll spell trouble with a capital T. With my hubby, we have an amicable relationship 90% of the time - phew. think it takes two hands to clap..i also had been with men who'll never make me angry no matter what lol - maybe they are boring people!
 

scopefun

New Member
"Fock you!"
"Fock you back!"
"Fock you front!"
"Fock you hard!"
"Fock you sore!"

"Can we stop fighting?"

"I was suggesting sex."
"I was the one!"
"Fock you! I was the one suggesting!"
"Fock you back!"
"Fock you front!"
"Fock you hard!"
"Fock you sore!"

In every fight... ... the cycle goes nowhere. LOL~
 

cococherry

New Member
Im probably dead if I slam door or cuss at my mom when im young. That was the only one time I had done it and I was 18yrs old. Reached my tolerance max limit and lost control. I was so worried n dare not go home early for few days. Hehe. My mom is fierce!!!
 

redsky

New Member
In-law and I quarreled. In anger, she shoved my kid to me and said, take yr kid back and I don't want to look after him anymore. (in-law looks after the kid once a week). I thought to myself, isn't he your grandson? And you dragged him in and insulted him like a burden?
So I decided not to visit her anymore, as I don't allow my kid to be insulted like that. Hubby disagreed, saying that it was just her angry words. My view is that in-law must know that it's wrong of her to say those words. Else, she might say the same thing again when she's angry. Hubby should relay this understanding to her, however there was no response fr hubby. And he wouldnt talk to me unless I allow the kid to visit the inlaw.
What would you do?
 

the_giving_tree

New Member
Redsky, I said, 'Live and let live'. Don't bear grudges. It worsens your health (physically and mentally) and set a bad example to your child. It takes a lot of courage to be the forgiving one.

I used to have conflicts with MIL for close to 2 decades because we lived together. But I had never once refused to talk to her, prevent my hubby from talking to her etc. I tell myself it's an inevitable part of living together and not to take things personal.
 

simpleman

Active Member
redsky,

Your in-law is childish to use the child and shove it back at you. But you are equally childish to play this game with them.

Yes, they are a right not to "look after" your kid and at the same time they have the right "to see" your kid.

And you can't say if they don't look after your kid they can't see them. Your hubby wouldn't agree.

taking care of your kid is you and your hb responsibility. If other people, in-laws included do not want to look after them - you should not have any complain.

See a grand child can still go on even if the grand parents are not looking after them. You can't set pre-conditions like this.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Other reasons include: Sex (too much, too little or weird sex habits, infidelity), abuse (physical and/or mental), addiction (gambling, drugs) , personality, communication and time (spouse in jail or works overseas).

People don't think much when they are getting married but think too much when they are getting a divorce.
 

redsky

New Member
Thanks faith and sm.

Inlaw is the emotional type, and we won't be meeting any time soon. As for the kid, hubby hasn't said a word. He's vexed. Seeing him like that upset me too. Anything i could do?

Others always say humor yr inlaw even if you disagree with them but isnt that pretentious, and as gd as disrespect? The reason for doing so is probably not to put the hubby in a difficult position.
 

the_giving_tree

New Member
Redsky, nobody is asking you to be pretentious, the key point here is not to bear grudges. I don't know what issue/quarrel you have with your in-law but whatever it is, to keep this in your heart and not to ever visit them or allow your child to see them is not going to do anybody any good, including your own physical and mental health. Not asking you to see your in-law 24/7 or to treat them like your best pals. But to accord them basic courtesy and maintain a cordial relationship, I think this should be achievable.
 

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