Hi all BTBs, i needed some advice on my current situation. As you all know, we're all gonna be wed in 2018, but for my case, i will be praying to gods and offering tea only to parents early this Oct first as its the auspicious date calculated by our shifu. We'll only offer tea to elders and relatives in 2018 on the banquet day. So technically speaking, my wedding day is actually Oct this year as i am married to my husband in the eyes of gods though we hold the banquet only next year. Here comes the problem. My brother so coincidentally has to be enlisted on the same date on my wedding day, and my mum finds it hard not to send my brother off and be there for him on his enlistment day. Hence, my parents actually decided that they will split, my dad will accompany me on my wedding day while my mum will be accompanying my brother. If thats the case, my mum will miss the tea ceremony and the praying procedure. We'll re offer the tea to her when she is back from camp. We did checked with the shifu and he said that both parents must be around for the tea ceremony. However, my mum told me that we can be "flexible" for the tradition. Deep down in my heart i find it totally hard and inauspicious to only offer tea to 1 parent during the actual tea ceremony, and re offer it to my mum at a later timing. But what else can i do? My mum is adamant to sending my brother off and told me that this is the best "win-win solution for all". Please advise. Sighs.