Hi Elen,
Our GDL is based on the auspicious date provided by our geomancer. I think no fixed date on 1week before or so, but usually GDL is around the period 1month before the actual day. Mine is around 2weeks+ before the wedding date.
For our GDL, my mum (bride side) gave 4 towels + 4 ang bao to the groom side. These are for the elders in the groom family. We gave four because there are only meant for his grandfather, grandmother, mother, father. From what we understand, only for those more 'senior' than my hb. Meaning, if my hb have elder brother, we also need to give.
The angpao that comes with the towel is to replace the shoes. We are using angbao to replace the shoes as its difficult to help people to buy shoes. My mum also bought a pants and a pair of shoes for hb.
Besides that, according to tradition, the brides side also will have to provide for all the bedding accessories, e.g. bedsheet cover, mattress, pillows, blankets. My mum gave an angbao to replace that as well. Did they also ask for this?
My mum also used an angbao to replace those face basin, baby shower tub etc because these are supposed to be provided/buy by the brides side and give to the groom side. Did your in-laws ask for this as well?
Actually there are still many others, such as sewing kits/machines, home slippers, mirror, comb, spittoon, ruler etc etc, to be provided by the bride side. But we kinda skipped them. So I think it really depends on the families' request.
I am not sure how much my parents put into each angbao, my hb handles the finances for us. I also didnt ask him. Maybe I should ask him. heehee..
For us, our GDL is quite smooth, because we didnt really expect both sides of the parents to prepare those items on their own. Our plan was to get the list from both sides, buy them all and give to the respectively sides their requested items. But my mum who is more enthusatic went to prepare everything and is more than happy to go source for items herself.
My in-laws doesn't even know what's the items that my mum requested. hee.. likewise, my inlaws didnt really request for any item, we just coordinate the items with my mum on those common stuff.
If your mum side doesn't want to give angbao, she can buy the 'real' stuff for the GDL. Angbao is commonly used nowsaday to avoid the hassle of getting the real thing and 'avoid the wastage' because after the GDL, usually no one use them. Hee.. but if your relatives feel funny to use angbao, just buy the real thing. Hee.. then that's going through the real chinese custom.
Every dialect have their different practises, so got to depend on your hb's dialect group as well.
When's your wedding? Don't worry too much, everything will work well.
Havent pack.
