flyingpig, you can request for White gold =) nowadays a lot of ppl take white gold instead.
ohhh i think i am the oldest now vallous... i am 28!!
Hui, my parents at the start ask us to go for honeymoon wedding but then at the end also didn't. Seriously it isn't so "easy" for a honeymoon wedding because a Honeymoon is a Honeymoon. a wedding is a wedding. We are asian, not caucasian. They can just get married in Bali or in LA with just the couple. =) Nothing wrong to have a dinner. a good number of guest of 20 ppl also considered a wedding dinner. so don't feel so discourage of doing what you want.
As for Pin Jin, it is a custom of chinese. Western also have their own. Malay indian all have. And ask your hubby for it. If your hubby parents are really not from average family, then you may consider to request a lower amount. But if your in law drive mercedes, bmw then i see no reason why they can't.
If you want to fork out yourself also can but you won't feel nice at all then it is hard on you too. My piece of advice, do something that you at the start feel to do so or willngly to do so. Or else in time when you think about it, you feel "sad"
i think the "grace"s here are more straight upfront type. haha Some guy don't understand and sometimes you just need to tell them: Fine, you don't understand traditional custom etc etc but we are asian and custom is part of culture. if you don't care about custom then when we have children, the children follow guy surname! You ask him to explain to you why? haha
HUI, your hubby don't understand doesn't mean his mom won't. You just tell your mIL that this is culture. Print out a list from internet and say Pin JIn is part of the item. If they dn't want to be so troublesome, you can go buy everything and u give a bill to them and they pay you back (thats what i did - but due to logistic issues)
Like for me, my hubby have NO INVOLVEMENT in Ti Jin, Guo Da li, An Chaung ...nothing. All i do directly with my FIL and my mom. Worse right? hehe so don't be sad hui !
Mrs Ang - don't tell your hubby that your parents are gving you back. Why? simple. The reason why you dad gave it back to you is the pureest reason of all. If you feel bad, then tell your dad on that day you would pass the money back to your dad (act must act finish ma). After the wedding day then only your dad pass back to you.
BTW any girls here are chirstian and catholic brides too?