Hi Summer
If u don't mind, can u tell me what ur mum tells u the things to do. I can try my best to help u if u don't mind. Cause u can check with them my mum and mil both are very traditional woman, but my mil is even terrible than my mum. everything must do her own way. So me and hubby are stuck in between.
The best way is to listen half of the negative comments only, don't listen to all the negative comments into ur ear totally. Tell ur mum, even if fellow all the customs got no proof that the marriage will be good in future. Best thing is after marriage, hubby and wife must have open communication and always find ways to keep the loving flame alive. Always understand each other needs and wants. And each other bad mood actions and body language too. This is what I learn from my hubby after following him for 4 years. I am sure your mum will agree with what I said. And won't ask u to fellow so many customs thingy, just relax. Don't be too stress. ok?
As for the fresh pork leg, is actual day, the groom must carry 1 fresh pork leg for hokkien ( I don't know about other religion)to the bride's house, for gdl is pork leg cans depend on the qty that ur mum requested.
For my case, my mil is vegetarian, so she don't allow my hubby to carry the fresh pork leg to my mum's place. She discussed with my mum, and they both agreed that my hubby will bring a small ang bow and some oranges to my mum on that day instead. Sounds like chinese new year. Hee Hee
For the gdl, my mum is asking for 12 cans of pork rib cans instead, less oliy. But when mil went home a few months later, now she said must change back to 12 can of pork leg cans. Got meaning but cannot say what meaning is it. So now asked my mum whether she can take 12 can of pork leg cans on the gdl day. And my mum agree too.
For the fresh pork leg, my mum also like that. When my mil went back home, she become upset. Asked me why no fresh pork leg to pray to shen and for her and my dad to eat after that??? I told her just now she said ok to my mil. Now not ok, she better think properly, before I called my mil and asked for it. Then she called my grandma who is a vegetarian and buddhist, asked my mum don't be too fussy. And to get the ang bow and oranges from them is ok. Later my mum can use the money from the hong bow to buy on her own. Since my mil don't want my hubby to touch the fresh pork leg, my grandma asked us to listen to my mil lor.
Up till now, I also can't understand, why my hubby can't touch the fresh pork leg. We both are non vegetarians and the fresh pork leg is to carry to my mum's place not to my mil's place. But me and hubby both keep quiet.
Now we both fellow this method, things we can do. We do. Things we can't do, we will do our method. My mil nag at us or give us black face to see. We both also no response. End up, now she also gives up too . I think she also know it is our marriage , not her marriage after all. Ha Ha Ha.
If u don't understand anything, u can post ur qus in this thread to ask me or other brides in here also can, or send me an email to
[email protected].
We will try our best to help u. Don't worry. And sorry, if I offended u when I ask u about the pork leg thingy. Hope u don't mind. I am not blaming u. Just type too fast. I am a very simple and easy going person. So never consider so much. Just type out how I feel only. Hope u don't blame me. Hee Hee
Hi Diana
You sure understand me, I always type very fast in the msn. Maybe i sound a bit rude about the pork leg cans thingy. So sorry if I offended Summer, I will try to rephrase my sentences in a nicer way. But to tell u the truth, my english is private limited. I just try my best . ok? Hee Hee
Hi Ladies
Yeap up till now, I am still very free, preparing my online website and preparing for my wedding at the same time too. So everyday u all can still see my long-winded post. Hee Hee

But I treat u all as my good friends, so I tell u all all this.
If u all find me naggy, then I don't tell u all how I feel lor. I keep quiet. Shut up my big mouth. Hee Hee

I am just joking. I am sure u all don't mind my long post.
We all learn and share with one another the funny things that happen during the wedding preparation. And we are also making new friends at the same time. This is how I feel in my heart. I feel the warmth and joy, whether I post my comments in this thread. This thread makes me so at home. Hee Hee
Take Care Ladies and Gentlemen
Regards
Xiaobai1