milkbone81
Member
Hi all, just to check with girls. My dialect is Hokkien. Is it compulsory to buy 四点金？and is it the in-laws or my htb to buy for me? Thanks in advance =)
四点金 for 过大礼？
- Thread starter milkbone81
- Start date
naiyoucreamy
Active Member
I dun tink its a must. Depends whether your parents ask for it?
milkbone81
Member
Ok... Thanks...
Terence Yong
Member
For my case, the 四点金 is a gift from my in-laws. Personally feel its not a must.
naiyoucreamy
Active Member
My 四点钻 was paid solely by my bf even thou i did not want o.o
Actually si dian jin is for teochew. But in sg, most of them will ask for it depends on oneself too. Whether do you really need it to make it looks better? For me, i chose a long feng bangle over that. Usually is htb side pay for it...
xhenrietta
Member
in law getting si dian jin for me.
And parents getting dowry for me which is gold too.
And parents getting dowry for me which is gold too.
milkbone81
Member
Ok... Thanks... We had a horrible quarrel over this. Though I don't need the si Dian Jin but I thought is a traditional to follow...so I told my htb that is the in laws to buy. He asked his mum but his mum said not her to buy for me...should be my htb... My htb blamed me for giving him wrong info think the mum said something? I do not know.
OYHZ
Member
In the modern era, nothing is compulsory exactly I would say. If he doesn't know the traditions himself, how can he blame you for not knowing too, and gave the 'wrong info'?
Anyway, both sides' parents told us that if buying any si dian jin or similar (diamonds), it will be from the parents..
Terence Yong
Member
Its good to get clarification. No harsh rules over should have 四点金or must come in-laws. If in-laws are to provide will be a bonus. If not, if bride insisted to have, then HTB pays for it provided your HTB is fibe with it.The 四点金 is from the groom's side, I guess the pay master is not so much an issue. For my case, my future in-laws just tell me whats their budget & they approve me to select & buy on my own. My HTB will pay 1st & them claim fr his own parents. They dun restrict yellow gold or white gold or any type of 四点金 cos they said its me who will own it so i must like design & its best i select my own design. I appreciate their openess & flexibility.
miuratohko
Member
Yah hokkien is only 2 bangles. My in laws gave me 四点金 because im their only daugjter in law. They dont mind
Terence Yong
Member
Hey babes, what type of gold you getting?
916, 999 or 999.9?
Or a combination of white with yellow gold?
I went to Poh Heng, Heng Heng, SK & 周大副. Different shops selling different type of gold.
916, 999 or 999.9?
Or a combination of white with yellow gold?
I went to Poh Heng, Heng Heng, SK & 周大副. Different shops selling different type of gold.
cherrieseason
Member
Si dian Jin is usually from the guys side regardless of dialect.. The girls side will give is in order not to let the bride被看不起 when marry over or the bride family dote on their daughter..
My mil only ask me what type of gold I prefer modern or traditional (all gold color, or gold mix with silver)..
My mil only ask me what type of gold I prefer modern or traditional (all gold color, or gold mix with silver)..
penguinmummy
New Member
Si Dian Jin is only compulsory from the Groom side based on the old traditions to the Teochew bride. But modern days, many families practice giving Si Dian Jin as well. Dragon Phoenix bangle is for Cantonese.
End of the day, I feel that consensus decision making of the two families is far more important than being calculative and overly superstitious of certain wedding procedure or customs not being practiced. Getting married is a joyous event, there is no need to fight over anything.
End of the day, I feel that consensus decision making of the two families is far more important than being calculative and overly superstitious of certain wedding procedure or customs not being practiced. Getting married is a joyous event, there is no need to fight over anything.
Hi, dowry is from bride side to bring over to groom side.
This website might help a little? http://www.thechineseweddingshop.com.sg/process_dowry.html
T
Thanks for the reply! Hmm but I think other than returning the GDL things the other part - dowry is usually done away with unless it is more traditional?
Hmmm... from what I understand from my HTB - I think the following items are quite important as part of the dowry so it should be bought by bride's parents.
Wedding Ceremony Tea Set 孝心茶具
Wedding Ceremony Bowl Set 衣食碗
A Pair of Prosperity Lamps 添丁床头灯
Tea set is for us to use when serving them tea, ceremony bowl is for us to feed each other when we are at groom's place (usually eating tang yuan) and prosperity lamp must be lit throughout our AD.
This was my understanding.
OYHZ
Member
Per the geomancer we went to (Master Long), he mentioned that different couples and different dates will may require different 'auspicious' items. As for the traditional wedding customs / items such as having kids rolling on the bed.. dowry or si dian zhuan etc.. it doesn't matter in fact. But couples can still do it to make the elders happy
penguinmummy
New Member
Check out this website. I think they are quite detailed and they provide free step by step guide when you purchase from them.
http://mychineseweddingshop.wix.com/chineseweddingshopsg#!/c1xkc
http://mychineseweddingshop.wix.com/chineseweddingshopsg#!/c1xkc
Wow, this is the first time I heard family not being traditional to this extend. But don't worry, I think as long as both of you love each other, nothing else matters.