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  1. L

    to let go or not

    "Knowing and doing".... and "knowing and no doing" are two different things. The question that comes back is, whether we all know what we want. It is freedom of choice to decide to hang out. But, is it necessary? Or an appropriate use of time? Many do not realise that if a ship is sinking...
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    So what does that means?

    My in laws have been married for like decades. They see each other everyday, but they sleep in different rooms. When they talk, they always end up bickering... nearly. See each other everyday doesn't mean "must be good". Like what miloice pointed out, couples can be living together, but not...
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    Second Thoughts?

    "Bored and restless" like children. So apt and so true. Once a friend told me that he found the love of his life, I stared at him blankly and knocked hard at his head. Truth is, we (mere mortals) never really understand what we want or what the heart so yearns and desires. Not to forget, many...
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    Second Thoughts?

    To be honest, I had that feeling too. It felt like I wasn't ready to be part of the village. The expectations from my SO's village were great. Eg, must have a kid within one year after marriage, must attend etc-etc-etc gathering and show-show face, CNY gatherings are a must and so on. It may...
  5. L

    Sharing of couples first meet stories

    Not sure if it mattered still. Time flies. One evening, a friend messaged me if I wanted to know a girl over dinner the next day. I was quite hesitant. The old me was hardcore over work. I happened to have an appointment the next day after work, so I would not have had any time to meet. The...
  6. L

    Don't know what I'm thinking, please advise.

    TS, Everyone is right and also wrong at the same time. Sounds funny? In a relationship, there are no real rights or wrongs. End of the day, what does your heart desire? Put the right and wrong out of the window. Everyone would have a different view on what constitutes right and wrong. But...
  7. L

    Festive Season blues

    Hide in some cave like what buddha would do? Or go for a short staycation. What an age old topic. Never bothered me cos my relatives have more or less scattered. Even when meet, also talk more about how my folks are. Guess its the personalities that you have in your "village".
  8. L

    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    You have asked a very tough question. The hardest thing to do is changing a person. If he is used to coming back late, changing this will be an uphill task (or make it an up Everest mountain task). Thing really is, man married woman hoping she will not change, but she changes. While woman...
  9. L

    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    Reading your replies do (often) give this impression that you seen a lot and really a lot. Putting into effect what we believe in is tough. You are right about choice and that we do have a choice to change things. When young, I used to see mum and dad fight day and night. Since then, I told...
  10. L

    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    Sigh.... that sounds like me. I wanted to work hard also because I'm scared of being poor again. Anyone who went through those days will know how bad it is. Parents gotta work their butt out and then kids always at home alone.
  11. L

    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    This may not be the most appropriate statement. But a smart woman is one who knows how to overlook certain things. Honestly, then does it matter? Would you prefer to lose sleep over one episode or to sweat over him leaving? Men are just being men... So long as he is still bothered to come home...
  12. L

    help

    Harsh, but very true. Many men are quite predictable. If they have accumulated some wealth and achieved some success in career, they are less likely to want to find another person of equal achievement. Some may lament that older men look to have a young half and are therefore "lao niu chi nern...
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    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    Spot on. Marriage is only one aspect of human life. Same as having kids. Wife and husband also need to maintain their own respective social circles. From the man point of view, it would scary if the wife keep asking "where are you?" and "why so late?" Mental health comes from a balance of all...
  14. L

    No children = no future?

    Congrats! Finding that right fit is tougher than finding the right person. There can be many right persons, but the right fit is far more uncommon. Marrying for convenience.... is also lagi more common than the right fit or match.
  15. L

    No children = no future?

    You are really quick. You understand the issue. I was blind during the courtship. Same here, my parents fought a lot when I was small. There were things I saw in them which I didn't like. That was as you mentioned, "how childish and dumb it is to fight and not communicate". Strangely, to some...
  16. L

    No children = no future?

    I do not know if this rings a bell. Doesn't all these fighting resemble that personal bias which has developed since the days when we were born? And, that these bias are heavily influenced by our parents. Whether its true or otherwise, the same thing "pride" has been a star feature in the...
  17. L

    Second Thoughts?

    So, taking the wrong pill is irreversible after all
  18. L

    No children = no future?

    You are right. Making tough decisions isn't easy. And, the tougher part is most (or all) of life decisions are irreversible. I do find that many of us are victims of our own doing, which I am guilty of. Not thinking through about what I would want to achieve and failing to discuss the most...
  19. L

    Second Thoughts?

    The passage of time and the falls we have makes all these lessons just even more understandable. I finally understood what a friend used to say. He said that we all knew what we are doing, except that few of us have the courage to do what seems "right" at whichever point in time. Thinking back...
  20. L

    hubby is always working from 7am to till passed midnight

    I don't know if this will apply to you. May be just shut both eyes. If he bothered enough to cook for you, its still better than him doing nothing at all. Which is worse? Something or nothing? Your sis is very short sighted. If a man is a player, he can be in any trade and he still can play...

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