Search results

  1. H

    Need advices for marriage problems faced

    This is a communication issue and communication breakdown is one of the key issues in a marriage. When one partner brings up a concern, the other partner should not dismiss it. We all see things differently and we cannot deny our feelings. Having a child will not solve the issue but may even...
  2. H

    Mother-in-law hates me!!

    Why do you think she dislikes you so much? Did something happened in the past? Is your perception of her clouded by some past events that were not resolved?
  3. H

    In Laws, In Laws.... Different Perspective? Or just simply Bias?

    If your mum-in-law is causing so much stress in your marriage, rent a place somewhere until your flat is ready. The money saved from staying with your mum-in-law is not worth the stress and it may even strain your relationship with your spouse. When you are newly weds, you have to adjust to...
  4. H

    Unreasonable behaviour from wife

    Your wife sounds like the young toddlers I used to work with. At this age, they lack self help skills and social skills to get along with others but it is acceptable as their behavior is normal for their age. We call it developmentally appropriate. This same behavior at age 30 plus would be...
  5. H

    Unreasonable behaviour from wife

    Verysadguy, no use reasoning with control freaks because they will not listen to any reasons. Best to cut your losses and move on. Interestingly, a few of my nieces and nephews who are in their 30s , have also sworn off marriage as they have a pretty negative view of marriage, especially my...
  6. H

    Unreasonable behaviour from wife

    I think I am different from my parents' generation where the woman will remain in a toxic marriage no matter what. They would also defer to their in laws even if the inlaws are unreasonable. Not for me. I will tell my ML how I feel if her behavior upsets me ( usually over cleanliness and hygiene...
  7. H

    Unreasonable behaviour from wife

    My heart breaks to read all the sad stories here about psychopathic spouses ( wives, in particular) and in laws. I hope what I have read is not one sided. However, if what you all had written were true, I am all for you guys getting out of such a toxic relationship. Lest you guys think women...
  8. H

    Disinterested/chronically distant other half?

    This is what marriage is like in the years to come, from my experience. It is a lot of hard work. Are both of you ready to stand by each other, 'in sickness and in health, till death do us part": When health problems come, is your spouse ready to stand by you? I have early menopause and...
  9. H

    Disinterested/chronically distant other half?

    Meimei, it looks like your guy is not ready for marriage. The wedding preparation stuff is just an excuse. In a way, it is better to break off now then make things more complicated when children and assets are involved. Thinking about my own marriage 21 years ago (yes, my spouse and I will be...
  10. H

    Perspective Required..

    Just let go, cut off all ties and get a life of your own. Indulge in a new sports or hobby, take up an overseas posting or volunteer your time with the needy; who knows, you may find someone more worthy of your affection.
  11. H

    Household expense distribution in your family

    Yes, if you can't trust your spouse-to-be with your finances, please do not get married. All the couples I know who have issues with trust in their marriage do not last long in the marriage.
  12. H

    Household expense distribution in your family

    This year will be our 21st wedding anniversary. This is how we take care of the finances in our marriage. As my spouse earns more, he pays a higher portion of all our major expenses e.g. mortgage loans and holidays. I pay for most of the marketing & groceries as I am the one doing it...
  13. H

    Need advice

    Hi, Have you told your wife how you feel when she leaves you out in major decisions concerning the child? If you have not, I think you should. It is also important the way in which you tell her. Do it tactfully without blaming her or her family. It is not normal for a family where spouses...
  14. H

    Desperation. Need advice on marriage

    Hi, Looks like both of you have a lot of issues to iron out and are not ready for marriage. Getting married for the sake of the child is not a very wise move. The child is going to grow up in an unstable environment. Praying every day that things will get better is not going to make things...
  15. H

    Household expense distribution in your family

    It is not quite right for a couple to split cost right down to the last cent in a marriage. Do talk to your spouse and find out where the issue lies. You have to be very honest and tell your spouse how you feel; keep the communication channel open without accusing each other. If all else...