Hey, I don't really agree about the allowance part if she can earn her own keep. The fact is after you give $10 of allowance, she would want more after that.
For example, Initially, I gave my ex-wife $200 per month even though she is working and I am paying everything in the house. After that she wants $300. I am still ok if she looks after the house but no, she just save the money without contributing anything in the house.
After a few months, she becomes unhappy again and wants $400 per month. By the way, I don't earn much and I still have to give to my aging parents who are retired and who spend their lifetime caring for me. I still have to pay monthly mortgage, groceries, bills and cook for her everyday. She just sleep at home and wake up for food. If she don't like the food, she threw it on the ground and I have to clean up after her. If not, she would throw a tantrum and threw the phone at me. Then, I have to buy another new phone. I change the home phone 3 times per month.
Guess what? After a few months, she become unhappy and wants $1000 per month!!!
The fact is if wife wants allowance, contribute to the family and not just take and save it without contributing.
Ok, now that is PLAIN GREED.
I don't speak for every woman but unless i'm saving up for a particular reason, i would share my savings with my husband, especially if we've kids or if he's financially tight.
You never know when you might need money so it's good to save aside for a rainy day, no?
So you mentioned you kept having to increase your wife's allowance but you never asked her why? Why is that? YOU SHOULD!
Maybe i might be the only simple minded one here but whenever i request hubby for an increase in savings, i ALWAYS let him know why.
I don't see why i should hide why i'm saving up.
I know he has savings of his own & i NEVER touch nor request his, regardless the situation. (I don't even ask how much he earns as it's his privacy.)
Hence, my insistence that he gives me allowance, even if it is a small amount.
Eg, planning for a holiday.
Me : Dear, this month don't just save few hundred in our joint account. Bank in more ok? MUST.
Hubby : But why leh? Not enough ah?
Me : Enough... but i want to go holiday since we ONLY go ONCE yearly.
Hubby : Orh. Ok lor. After holiday cannot already hor.
Me : Yay! Of course!
I'm glad my hubby is unlike certain posters in this thread, where mine is mine & his is his. (allowance)
If he were to be so calculative, why even consider getting married in the first place? Doesn't make sense to complain after.
I'm also sorry to hear your wife doesn't contribute at all.. why doesn't she? Strange. SELFISH of her.
You says she just sleeps at home & wait to wake up for food?
She doesn't do housework at all? Wow. Surprising to know..
She sounds pretty lazy & useless if not for the fact that she's working too..
Glad she's your ex. I hope you don't go through it again.
My case in point; communicate. Don't just give give give.