{"id":6933,"date":"2013-08-14T09:05:11","date_gmt":"2013-08-14T01:05:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?p=6933"},"modified":"2016-02-19T11:57:09","modified_gmt":"2016-02-19T03:57:09","slug":"surviving-her-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/08\/surviving-her-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving Her Family"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>Being part of a new family is just as daunting to the groom-to-be as it is to his bride. Fu Jinming shows you how to handle her parents and siblings. And make her family yours.<\/i><\/p><p><b class=\"special\">S<\/b>o, you\u2019ve got the girl. You\u2019ve got the flat. And you\u2019re all ready for a life made for two. That is, if you discount her parents, who\u2019d like you both to come home every now and then for dinner. Her aunt who thinks you can fix anything, including her toilet. Her younger brother who\u2019ll always need help at Math. Or her cousin who thinks you guys should hang out together with her and her hubby more often.<\/p><div class=\"banner\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\">OA_show(5);<\/script><\/div><p>Before long, you realise that your married life now resembles less of a Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan rom-com, and more of a Star Trek episode with an ensemble cast \u2013 of Starship-Enterprise proportions.<\/p><p>Like it or not, unless you\u2019re planning on living like a hermit couple, your marriage will always be filled with characters that come with that ring on your finger. Because the truth is, when you marry the girl of your dreams, you marry her whole family.<\/p><p>It might have been the fact that women are generally more sociable than men. They are also more nurturing; they like the people closest to their hearts to get along with one another. Especially if it involves the man she loves. Which is why she\u2019s always looking for you \u2013 the man in her life \u2013 to take initiative, and play an active role in her extended family life.<\/p><p>Likewise, she\u2019d like her loved ones to enjoy your company \u2013 and you, theirs \u2013 so she can cement your place in her family circle.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Surviving-her-family-1.jpg\" alt=\"Surviving her family\" \/><p>Which is a good thing.<\/p><p>According to a new research in the US, a couple\u2019s risk of divorce decreases by as much as 20% when the husband has had a close relationship with his wife\u2019s parents.<\/p><p>The math adds up: having close ties with your in-laws says a lot about how important your wife is to you. It tells her that you care about her parents, because you care a lot about her.<\/p><p>This bodes well for a long and healthy marriage. And may get you out of the doghouse more times than you\u2019d care to imagine.<\/p><p>The great thing is, it\u2019s generally easier for men to get along with their wives\u2019 families, than it is for women to get along with their husbands\u2019. After all, surveys have shown that men are less likely to worry that their in-laws are interfering too much into their romantic relationship.<\/p><p>So go on, make yourself comfortable around your wife\u2019s parents, their parents, her siblings, her uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and so on.<\/p><p>Often, that involves letting them get comfortable with you first. But once they do, you\u2019ll find them to be an unexpected \u2013 and frequently rewarding \u2013 source of support for your marriage.<\/p><p>Here\u2019s what you can do to ease into the family.<\/p><p><b><b>Take Them Out<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>If you think getting to know your new family involves just turning up during Chinese New Year or Christmas parties, think again. To truly get acquainted with your in-laws, make an effort to spend time with them socially. That means taking the initiative to plan outings and get-togethers, so you get ample face time with them.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Surviving-her-family-3.jpg\" alt=\"Surviving her family\" \/><p>The good news is, it doesn\u2019t have to be anything elaborate. A simple lunch date would suffice. Or dinner at a restaurant you\u2019ve been meaning to check out. It could even be leisure activities you know your wife\u2019s family would enjoy. Like an afternoon walk in the park. Or an evening at the movies.<\/p><p><b><b>Get to Know Them Better<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Once you\u2019re spending time with them, try to make conversation. Ask them about their jobs. Discuss the latest current affairs. Heck, you can even talk about the weather. The key here is to take an interest in their lives and the things that affect them.<\/p><p>You can also talk a little about your family or your work. Opening up about your life gives them a better insight into your upbringing, personality, and belief system. More importantly, the more they know about you, the more they\u2019ll feel relaxed around you.<\/p><p><b><b>Stay Neutral<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Never, ever insult your wife\u2019s family members \u2013 behind their backs or otherwise. Even when your wife\u2019s complaining about them. She may be displeased with some of them, and she may even have a good reason to, but nobody likes to have their parents talked about in less-than-pleasing terms. Least of all by the man she trusts most.<\/p><p>If your missus has a problem with her folks, offer a listening ear, but try not to take sides. Suggest that she talk it out with them. If you\u2019re the one having an issue with her parents, talk to your wife about it. Calmly.<\/p><p><b><b>Treat Her Siblings Like Yours<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>If her brother is like the brother you\u2019ve never had, treat him like one. If he isn\u2019t, pretend he is anyway. Chances are, your wife will be pleased that you\u2019re making an effort to nurture a relationship with her siblings \u2013 even if she finds them annoying.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Surviving-her-family-2.jpg\" alt=\"Surviving her family\" \/><p>If it\u2019s her younger siblings you\u2019re dealing with, help them out with their homework. Or give career advice \u2013 but only if you know what you\u2019re talking about, and are sure that you\u2019re not being intrusive. A nosey brother-in-law is about as cool as a pair of Crocs sandals.<\/p><p>If she has older siblings, show an interest in what they do for a living. You can even ask for their advice in matters like car loans, housing, and even your career. They\u2019ll feel flattered that you hold their opinions in high regard.<\/p><p><b><b>Limit What You Share<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>While it\u2019s good to share interesting anecdotes about your married life, it is generally not advisable to talk about your spousal problems with her family. For one, they might take sides. After all, she\u2019s kin. You just came with the package.<\/p><p>Even if they do side with you, it\u2019s still not a good idea; your wife might take it as a betrayal \u2013 from both you and her family. Good rarely comes out of it. Instead, work out your issues privately. By leaving her family out of it, you leave them less reason to intrude into your lives.<\/p><p><b><b>Give Gifts<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Take the trouble to remember dates special to her family. Like her parents\u2019 birthdays and wedding anniversary. Or her siblings\u2019 birthdays. Then get them gifts together with your wife. She would know what they\u2019d like and what they wouldn\u2019t. And you\u2019ll get into their books as a sweet and thoughtful son- or brother-in-law.<\/p><p>Though the value of your gift shouldn\u2019t matter, don\u2019t go for the bottom of the barrel here. Besides making you look like a cheapskate, a generic &#8220;budget&#8221; gift \u2013 like an airport souvenir \u2013 also suggests that you\u2019re a thoughtless little man. Put a little heart into it. Find a present that\u2019ll mean something to the people who mean the world to your wife.<\/p><hr\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being part of a new family is just as daunting to the groom-to-be as it is to his bride. Fu Jinming shows you how to handle her parents and siblings&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":6958,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-groom-room","category-weddings-101"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Surviving Her Family - SingaporeBrides<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/08\/surviving-her-family\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Surviving Her Family - SingaporeBrides\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Being part of a new family is just as daunting to the groom-to-be as it is to his bride. 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