{"id":6849,"date":"2013-07-25T09:05:46","date_gmt":"2013-07-25T01:05:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?p=6849"},"modified":"2021-05-06T16:15:54","modified_gmt":"2021-05-06T08:15:54","slug":"beware-the-groomzilla","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/","title":{"rendered":"Beware The Groomzilla"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>Wedding planning has long been the domain of the bride-to-be. But these days, a new breed of men is threatening to take over. Fu Jinming dissects the Groomzilla, and shows how not to turn into one.<\/i><\/p><p><b class=\"special\">T<\/b>he wedding. It used to be every girl\u2019s dream. Now, it\u2019s most boys\u2019 too. That is, judging by how involved men have become in the planning of their weddings.<\/p><div class=\"banner\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\">OA_show(5);<\/script><\/div><p>According to a recent survey in the UK*, 60% of couples say grooms are more hands-on in wedding planning than years before. Over 50% of grooms say they decided on the final date and venue of the wedding. 42% think they are as competent as the fairer sex when it comes to organising their big day. And one in 20 had a say in the floral arrangements.<\/p><p>Hardly surprising. The stereotype of the man who only wants to be there for his suit fitting is about as dated as Hokkien wedding singers. These days, it is the grooms who aren\u2019t afraid to get their hands dirty in marital matters.<\/p><p>After all, why should women get all the fun? We\u2019re calm in the face of danger. We\u2019re decisive. And we have an innate ability to leave our emotions at the door, and give clear-cut directions to vendors.<\/p><p>Besides, the sheer scale of a modern-day wedding requires more than a one-woman show. There are meetings to be had. Arrangements to be made. And tasks to be shared. Weddings are not for the faint-hearted, but two heads are better than one. Two pairs of hands too.<\/p><p>And since it\u2019s our special day too, chivalry dictates that we help the one we love get through the event of our lives. It\u2019s an opportunity to be at our gallantry best.<\/p><p>All well and good. Until a few of us carry the obsession a little too far.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"399\" loading=\"lazy\"  class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6871\" alt=\"Beware The Groomzilla\" src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-1.jpg\" \/><p>Where the bridezilla is a control freak, the groomzilla is an annoying, micro-managing man-diva who wants the final say in everything \u2013 including what his bride will be wearing to the altar.<\/p><p>You know the type. You might even have seen him before. He\u2019s the one interrogating the bridal designer on the hemline of the bridal gown. The one terrorising the venue coordinator for chair options. The amateur auteur who insists on doing his own wedding montage \u2013 badly.<\/p><p>What you don\u2019t see is the bride turning every shade of red when he raises his voice at a bridal fair. Or her parents smiling awkwardly as he questions the florist on the freshness of his boutonniere. Or his own folks as he attempts to art-direct the wedding photographer.<\/p><p>The fact is, nobody likes a diva. Much less one in a tuxedo suit fussing over the fabric of the dinner napkins.<\/p><p>How do you stop yourself from turning into an incredible hulk of a groomzilla, so your wife-to-be stays sane enough to walk down the aisle with you \u2013 without punching you in the face?<\/p><p>Let us count thy ways.<\/p><p><b><b>1. Play as a Team<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>It takes two to tango. Being actively involved in the wedding planning means your bride doesn\u2019t have to do everything herself. She\u2019ll appreciate the extra help, while you\u2019ll earn precious brownie points down the road.<\/p><p>Just remember to complement each other. For example, she might be good with colours, while you\u2019re better with people. So let her make the call on the aesthetics of the wedding, while you focus on liaising with the venue staff. If she\u2019s into party planning and you\u2019re into finances, let her organise the banquet entertainment while you sort out the budget.<\/p><p>That way, you play to each other\u2019s strengths. And every one is clear on his or her responsibility.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"399\" loading=\"lazy\"  class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6873\" alt=\"Beware The Groomzilla\" src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-3.jpg\"  \/><p><b><b>2. Trust Her<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Once you\u2019ve decided on the duties you shall each perform, give her your complete trust. That means not calling her incessantly about the venue, the food, or \u2013 heaven forbid \u2013 the cupcakes for the reception. If you don\u2019t want her to nag at you for the rest of your wedded life, extend the same courtesy to her now.<\/p><p>An important part of that trust will come from how you conduct your meetings together. Always come away knowing what needs to be done next, and who will be doing it. Then set deadlines.<\/p><p>If your lady can be a scatterbrain at times, politely ask if she needs a reminder. Otherwise, give her the chance to be a responsible adult. If she does forget something, she\u2019ll feel lousy about it even without your nagging.<\/p><p><b><b>3. Keep Calm and Marry On<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Whatever you do \u2013 or she doesn\u2019t \u2013 don\u2019t lose your cool. Blowing your top rarely solves anything.<\/p><p>If a problem arises, or if something doesn\u2019t go to plan, stop. Take a deep breath, and calmly think about what you can do to resolve it.<\/p><p>Ranting and raving at the people involved \u2013 the bridal designer, the tailor, the banquet vendor, your groomsmen, or (gasp) your bride \u2013 doesn\u2019t help anyone. It makes the situation tenser than it already is. Worse, it reflects badly on you, upsetting and demoralising every one \u2013 including your wife-to-be.<\/p><p><b><b>4. Don\u2019t Sweat the Small Stuff<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Nothing is perfect. Unfortunately, that goes for your wedding too. While you\u2019d want every little detail to be immaculately planned for, it\u2019s impossible to account for every button, petal, and canap\u00e9 crumb.<\/p><p>Accept that not all will go according to plan. The good news is, unlike heart surgery, a wrong move at a wedding won\u2019t kill anybody. And honestly, nobody\u2019s going to notice that little jump in the dinner muzak.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"399\" loading=\"lazy\"  class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6872\" alt=\"Beware The Groomzilla\" src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-2.jpg\" \/><p><b><b>5. Delegate<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Know that you can\u2019t do everything yourself. Involve your best man and groomsmen early in the planning if you can \u2013 with your fianc\u00e9e\u2019s blessings, of course.<\/p><p>You can appoint someone to be in charge of the alcohol. Another to take care of the wedding favours. And someone else to work out the day schedule. Just be sure to brief each appointment holder thoroughly on his role. Then let him fly like a peacock.<\/p><p><b><b>6. Be Realistic<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Sure, you deserve the wedding of your dreams too. But keep it within reason.<\/p><p>Pulling up at your bride\u2019s place in a flaming red Lamborghini reeks of showiness. Lining your big entrance at the venue with fireworks will invite the cops. And assembling 20 groomsmen on your big day takes bromance to a new, comical low.<\/p><p>So when in doubt, KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid).<\/p><p><b><b>7. Listen<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>You\u2019re not marrying yourself. So when your fianc\u00e9e has an opinion on the wedding plan, stop what you\u2019re doing and listen up. She may have noticed something you\u2019ve missed. Or she knows a way to organise the seating arrangements better. It may even be that she has an idea that will make your life much easier. All you have to do is put your ego aside, hold your tongue, and lend her your ears.<\/p><p>And while you can have an opinion on her bridal gown, accept that she\u2019s the one who\u2019s going to be wearing it. It\u2019s something she\u2019s dreamt of her whole life. So don\u2019t go dismissing her design ideas, or dictating what she should be wearing instead.<\/p><p>You may think you\u2019re wearing the pants in this marriage, but trust us \u2013 she\u2019ll be deciding which ones you\u2019ll wear.<\/p><hr \/><p><i>*UK study by Austin Reed<\/i><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wedding planning has long been the domain of the bride-to-be. But these days, a new breed of men is threatening to take over. Fu Jinming dissects the Groomzilla, and shows&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":6874,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2341,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-the-groom-room"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Wedding planning has long been the domain of the bride-to-be. But these days, a new breed of men is threatening to take over. Fu Jinming dissects the Groomzilla, and shows...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SingaporeBrides\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SingaporeBrides\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-07-25T01:05:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-06T08:15:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"633\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fu Jinming\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@singaporebrides\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@singaporebrides\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Fu Jinming\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/\",\"name\":\"Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-07-25T01:05:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-06T08:15:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/b8b0e5277f1e52a36444fb0afb15e0f0\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg\",\"width\":633,\"height\":300},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Beware The Groomzilla\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/\",\"name\":\"SingaporeBrides\",\"description\":\"Articles\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/b8b0e5277f1e52a36444fb0afb15e0f0\",\"name\":\"Fu Jinming\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f1c1862c818940ad45e1b6958022002?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f1c1862c818940ad45e1b6958022002?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Fu Jinming\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/author\/fu-jinming\/\"},false]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides","og_description":"Wedding planning has long been the domain of the bride-to-be. But these days, a new breed of men is threatening to take over. Fu Jinming dissects the Groomzilla, and shows...","og_url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/","og_site_name":"SingaporeBrides","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SingaporeBrides\/","article_published_time":"2013-07-25T01:05:46+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-06T08:15:54+00:00","og_image":[{"width":633,"height":300,"url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Fu Jinming","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@singaporebrides","twitter_site":"@singaporebrides","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Fu Jinming","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/","url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/","name":"Beware The Groomzilla - SingaporeBrides","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg","datePublished":"2013-07-25T01:05:46+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-06T08:15:54+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/b8b0e5277f1e52a36444fb0afb15e0f0"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Beware-The-Groomzilla-feat.jpg","width":633,"height":300},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2013\/07\/beware-the-groomzilla\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Beware The Groomzilla"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#website","url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/","name":"SingaporeBrides","description":"Articles","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/b8b0e5277f1e52a36444fb0afb15e0f0","name":"Fu Jinming","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f1c1862c818940ad45e1b6958022002?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f1c1862c818940ad45e1b6958022002?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Fu Jinming"},"url":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/author\/fu-jinming\/"},false]}},"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":false,"span_bottom":false},"number_of_votes":0,"sum_votes":0},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6849"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25422,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849\/revisions\/25422"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6874"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}