{"id":4716,"date":"2012-09-10T09:05:20","date_gmt":"2012-09-10T01:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?p=4716"},"modified":"2021-05-06T16:11:30","modified_gmt":"2021-05-06T08:11:30","slug":"8-tips-for-peaceful-arguments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2012\/09\/8-tips-for-peaceful-arguments\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Tips for Peaceful Arguments"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>Weddings are happy occasions and a time of great joy \u2013 most of the time. But a wedding can easily bring distress to a bride during her wedding planning, especially if she and her groom cannot come to a mutual agreement regarding the demanding requests from their families. Tensed discussions will follow and may even escalate into arguments where familial loyalties are being questioned and put to the test. If this sounds like what you&#8217;re going through, understand that these arguments are part and parcel of any bride&#8217;s wedding planning.<\/i><\/p><p><b class=\"special\">A<\/b>rguments are as common an occurrence as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. Having one is not indicative that things are bad or irreparable between you and your groom-to-be, even though you can&#8217;t remember the last time you two were involved in an ugly fight such as the one you&#8217;re having now about seating plans. Arguments don&#8217;t always have to result in a negative outcome. How you approach an argument and your mentality determines if the outcome is a positive or a negative one. To help you achieve a positive outcome from any argument, SingaporeBrides has compiled eight tips that will steer brides in the right direction.<\/p><div class=\"banner\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\">OA_show(5);<\/script><\/div><p><b><b>Tip #1 :Always Speak With Love<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Arguments may not always be a bad thing; it can also have a positive impact on your relationship as both you and your groom-to-be learn to compromise and recognise what makes the other half tick. That doesn&#8217;t mean you have to hurl vulgarities or say hurtful things during your arguments. Feeling sorry about saying those things after the fact doesn&#8217;t make it okay either. What has been said cannot be taken back at a later time regardless of how sorry you are.<\/p><p>Instead, speak with love even as you are in a fight with your groom-to-be. How upset you were during the fight does not excuse you from the hurtful and derogatory things you said. Whenever you have an argument with your other half, you should strive to remind him that while you\u2019re angry, you still love them; saying those things aren\u2019t exactly the way to go about it.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Peaceful-Argument-4a.jpg\" alt=\"8 Tips For Peaceful Arguments\" \/><p><b><b>Tip #2: Language<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>What you say in the heat of the moment can affect how your partner reacts to the discussion. If you use profanities during your argument, your groom-to-be is going to react in a defensive manner. The same goes for pointing language \u2013 language that is specifically directed at another person. When you use pointing language such as \u201cYou should have\u201d or \u201cYou always\u201d, your groom-to-be will be on the defensive and might tune out on what is being said intuitively.<\/p><p>Here\u2019s how you can avoid that. Use phrases such as \u201cIn my experience\u201d or \u201cI feel\u201d to express how <em>you <\/em>feel about the problem, rather than pointing out what you felt he did wrong. This ensures that he will be less defensive and is actually listening to what is being said.<\/p><p><b><b>Tip #3: The Right Time<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>As far as you&#8217;re concerned, there is a right time for him to get down on one knee and propose to you. And as far as he&#8217;s concerned, there is a right time for discussing your wedding planning details. Asking him why he didn&#8217;t have an opinion on the colour theme for your big day the moment he steps through the door is hardly the right time. No one likes to be questioned or have an argument dropped down no them before they even have a chance to wind down from work or when they&#8217;re exhausted.<\/p><p>Bringing up a problem during your groom-to-be\u2019s \u201cme time\u201d is a bad idea as well. Not only will you not get his full attention, intruding on his two hours of personal time is rude and he\u2019ll be more likely to be annoyed even before a fight begins. Again, imagine if he wants to discuss seating plans with you while you\u2019re practicing yoga at home \u2013 can you see yourself getting annoyed at him for doing that? Both you and your groom-to-be are entitled to your own \u201cme time\u201d and that time should be used to do things both of you enjoy.<\/p><p>If the problem doesn\u2019t threaten your relationship, then you can probably leave it until the next day to discuss it at a time where you\u2019re both relaxed and available. Besides, being relaxed will ensure both of you will be in a better frame of mind to discuss any problem.<\/p><p><b><b>Tip #4: A Course of Action<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>So, you\u2019ve picked the right time to talk about his family\u2019s unreasonably long guest list and you\u2019re both calmly talking things through without using swear words on each other. Mission accomplished, right? Not quite. Having a discussion or argument without concluding with a course of action to rectify the problem is pointless. If there is no course of action to take, the problem will never be resolved and all you\u2019d be doing is rehashing it every time the thorn pricks you hard in the side.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Peaceful-Argument-2b.jpg\" alt=\"8 Tips For Peaceful Arguments\" \/><p><b><b>Tip #5: Ditch the Threats<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Do you notice yourself having a habit of arm-twisting your groom-to-be into giving in to you to get what you want? If so, kick that habit right away before your threats escalate to the point of calling the wedding off just to get your way. Threats should never be used as argument tactics, especially those that use a person&#8217;s love as a bargaining chip. Instead of resorting to threats when you don&#8217;t get the results you hoped for, pen down a list of points you&#8217;d like to get across and what you hope to achieve before having the discussion. This helps keep you level-headed and focused on the points you want to talk about and serves as a reminder of the outcome you initially hoped to achieve when you get carried away in the heat of the moment.<\/p><p><b><b>Tip #6: Time Out<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>If the discussion or argument is not going anywhere, then call it a night. There is no point carrying on when neither of you can find a solution to the problem. But that doesn\u2019t mean you end the discussion with a \u201cYou know what, forget it\u201d or a \u201cNever mind, forget that I ever brought this up\u201d \u2013 both of you know this isn\u2019t over, so there is no need to pretend it is. If you really need to, phone a girl friend up and vent, but make sure you are complaining about the problem and not your man. Instead, agree to sleep on the problem and what was said during the discussion and continue the next day.<\/p><p><b><b>Tip #7: It\u2019s Not About Winning<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Whenever you have an argument, you&#8217;ll either be the person who gets your way &#8211; in other words, the &#8220;winner&#8221; &#8211; or the person who has to give in &#8211; the &#8220;loser&#8221;. An argument where you have a &#8220;winner&#8221; and a &#8220;loser&#8221; is not a mutually beneficial one and that&#8217;s not the kind of arguments brides should aim to have. Instead, you should aim to achieve a win-win situation whenever you find yourself in an argument. For that to happen, a compromise from both parties is required and consideration of each other&#8217;s desires and opinions need to be taken into account. Encourage thoughts such as &#8220;How can we solve this so that we will both be happy?&#8221; and not &#8220;How can I make him give in to my demands?&#8221;. Remember, even though you&#8217;re having an argument, you should strive to work <i>with<\/i> one another rather than against each other.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  src=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Peaceful-Argument-1c.jpg\" alt=\"8 Tips For Peaceful Arguments\" \/><p><b><b>Tip #8: Sorry is the Hardest Word<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>One of the very first things we teach a young child is to apologise when they\u2019ve made a mistake or have done something wrong. Yet as adults, we sometimes find it difficult to say \u201cSorry\u201d even though we\u2019re in the wrong. If you\u2019ve been guilty of this behaviour, it\u2019s about time you make an effort to kick this bad habit for good. Acknowledging that you\u2019ve made a mistake and apologising for it is important because it shows your groom-to-be your ability to reflect on your mistakes and take responsibility.<\/p><p>Don&#8217;t assume the worse of your relationship just because you and your groom-to-be are having an argument during your wedding planning. Armed with these eight tips, wedding-planning-induced arguments will no longer put a damper on your happy occasion. In fact, with these tips, you&#8217;ll know how to achieve a positive outcome with any argument you might have in the future with your groom-to-be or anyone else, so don&#8217;t chuck them away after your wedding&#8217;s over!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Weddings are happy occasions and a time of great joy \u2013 most of the time. But a wedding can easily bring distress to a bride during her wedding planning, especially&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":31391,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-real-weddings"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>8 Tips for Peaceful Arguments - SingaporeBrides<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2012\/09\/8-tips-for-peaceful-arguments\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Tips for Peaceful Arguments - SingaporeBrides\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Weddings are happy occasions and a time of great joy \u2013 most of the time. 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