{"id":2936,"date":"2011-12-22T09:07:34","date_gmt":"2011-12-22T01:07:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/?p=2936"},"modified":"2016-03-18T10:16:49","modified_gmt":"2016-03-18T02:16:49","slug":"lets-call-the-whole-thing-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2011\/12\/lets-call-the-whole-thing-off\/","title":{"rendered":"Should We Call The Whole Thing Off?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b class=\"special\">I<\/b>t is months to your Big Day. The 50-table banquet has been booked. The ivory satin gown has been tailored to perfection. Even the Maldives honeymoon has been packed for. But you can\u2019t shake off this feeling that walking down the aisle may be the biggest mistake of your life. Before you call off the wedding, take a deep breath, count backwards from 100, and consider again.<\/p><div class=\"banner\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\">OA_show(5);<\/script><\/div><h3>PART 1: Is it just pre-wedding jitters?<\/h3><p>With wedding plans already underway, it\u2019s inevitable that parents and best pals will try to talk you out of a cancellation. And it\u2019s true that many brides- and grooms-to-be suffer from cold feet. So how should you distinguish between pre-wedding nerves, and something more?<\/p><p><b><b>Just a case of nerves!<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Let\u2019s face it: Planning a wedding is uber-stressful. For those of us without the privilege of hiring a wedding planner, juggling a day job (and parental expectations!) while dashing from vendor to vendor is par for the course. So if you\u2019re frustrated with your fianc\u00e9, ask yourself if it\u2019s really because you hate his guts or if it\u2019s simply because you can\u2019t squeeze into that gorgeous Vera Wang number. Call it off if it\u2019s the former.<\/p><p>In the months leading up to your wedding, you might also be confronted by a spectrum of emotions. This is because reality has finally hit home. You\u2019re starting to realise that you will have to live with this man forever. You might be annoyed at how he can\u2019t even mail out the invitations on time, but that\u2019s not enough reason to call the whole thing off.<\/p><p><b><b>Serious reservations<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Chances are, you\u2019re considering calling it quits because you\u2019ve noticed some red flags in your relationship. It could be because he\u2019s been blowing hot and cold. Or perhaps you accepted his proposal at a moment of passion \u2013 and now realise that a healthy marriage cannot solely survive on love. No matter what, examine these reservations carefully. Remember that you should never marry for the wrong reasons, like money or just because you\u2019re hitting the big 3-0.<\/p><p>Consider sharing your fears with close friends to get a neutral opinion. Says Geraldine*, 31: \u201cAt 22, I was engaged to an older man I met in church. But shortly after saying yes, I started feeling uncomfortable about my decision.\u201d The public relations manager talked about it with her mother and best friend, who both advised her to leave marriage until she had graduated from the university. \u201cIt made me realise that I was young and hadn\u2019t even lived my own life yet. So I decided to end the relationship. I\u2019ve no regrets \u2013 even now.\u201d<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  title=\"Should We Call The Whole Thing Off?\" src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/iStock_000014506591Small-e1323428768828.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><p><b><b>Definite deal-breakers<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Sometimes, calling off the wedding \u2013 and ending the relationship \u2013 can be a straightforward (albeit still difficult) decision. For instance, if you discover that he has been cheating on you or if there has been abuse of any kind \u2013 physical, emotional, verbal and sexual. If you\u2019re facing any of these issues, cancel the wedding \u2013 you might be happier for it.<\/p><p>Cecelia*, 26, shares: \u201cMy boyfriend and I dated for a tumultuous four years. He has a way of putting me down in front of his banker colleagues. Although we quarrelled often, I didn\u2019t think it was a big deal at first.\u201d The administrator adds: \u201cBut when we started to plan our wedding, his bullying became more frequent. He decided everything, from where to host the banquet to what I should wear. I wasn\u2019t happy during those months, and finally decided to call everything off.\u201d<\/p><p><b><b>Go with your intuition<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Socialite and reality TV star Kim Kardashian recently filed for divorce after 72 days of marriage to basketball star Kris Humphries. Apparently, there were red flags even before the US$10 million wedding extravaganza. Pals of the new bride claimed that she has been telling them that she didn\u2019t want to go ahead with it, but felt she couldn\u2019t turn back. So trust your intuition if something\u2019s really not right\u2026 it\u2019s better to cancel a wedding than to end up trapped in an unhappy marriage (or having to battle it out in the divorce courts!).<\/p><h3>PART II: Do it right!<\/h3><p>So you have decided to pull the plug. It might be a real headache sorting out the logistical mess. Follow these rules of etiquette to make sure you\u2019ve covered all bases.<\/p><p><b><b>Contact the wedding vendors<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>Once you\u2019ve made the decision not to go ahead with the wedding, inform your vendors immediately. This includes your caterer, florist, DJ, photographer, venue, among others. Ask about their cancellation policies \u2013 you should already have copies of these if you\u2019ve signed formal quotations \u2013 and find out if you\u2019re entitled to any refunds. You may not be able to get your deposits back, but you might be able to cut some losses if you send word early (or shed a tear or two).<\/p><p><b><b>Send a written announcement\u2026 and follow up with a phone call.<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>If you\u2019ve mailed out the wedding invitations, it is best to inform your guests about the cancellation via a formal written announcement. You don\u2019t have to explain why, but do follow up with phone calls to make sure no guest turns up on that day. Of course, printed announcements may not always be possible. For instance, the wedding may be called off only days before the actual event. If so, spread the news through phone and email so that there won\u2019t be a case of guests turning up for nothing.<\/p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"  title=\"Should We Call The Whole Thing Off?\" src=\"http:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/iStock_000016414144Small-e1323428813870.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><p><b><b>Return those wedding gifts<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>First, take down the wedding registry. But wedding presents might already have started pouring in, from kitschy couple mugs to those soft Egyptian cotton sheets. We hope you have the good sense to keep them wrapped and unused since you have not walked down the aisle yet. Well, now that you\u2019ve cancelled the wedding, your guests are expecting you to send them back. Simply explain that you can no longer accept the wonderful gifts. If you have already opened the gifts, do send an identical replacement back.<\/p><p><b><b>Return the engagement ring too<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>And yes, you should be returning the gorgeous ring even if it sits oh-so-prettily on your finger. If you\u2019re no longer getting married to the man, do the right thing and send it back. Oh, and we\u2019re not talking about tossing it in his face.<\/p><p><b><b>Reimburse your bridal party<\/b><\/b><\/p><p>If the wedding planning had been in full swing, your bridal party might already have incurred expenses on their end. This includes those black suits and bridesmaid gowns, as well as materials for your gatecrashing. Do remember to offer reimbursements as a gesture of goodwill. They will thank you for it.<\/p><p>*Not their real names.<\/p><hr\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is months to your Big Day. The 50-table banquet has been booked. The ivory satin gown has been tailored to perfection. Even the Maldives honeymoon has been packed for&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2941,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-weddings-101"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Should We Call The Whole Thing Off? - SingaporeBrides<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/singaporebrides.com\/articles\/2011\/12\/lets-call-the-whole-thing-off\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Should We Call The Whole Thing Off? - SingaporeBrides\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It is months to your Big Day. 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