Emotional kid

I suppose this is a ranting place for me.
Let me intro myself.
Im in mid 20s. Getting married in march this yr. However, recently quarral with my htb.
Quarrel over so small issues and whenever we start to quarrel only, my tears will start. Which he doesnt like it. But i really couldnt control myself too.
Personally, im more to a inner person.
As our wedding is getting nearer in getting more stress.
Why?
Although the banquet is paid by him.
Previously the tw trip etc.
There are also other hidden cost preparations for wedding.
Im earning alot lesser than him, and i have to pay for my rental flat and family expenses , in fact evry month i do not have xtra money to enjoy my life.
But htb he knew and yet he gives me money till my payday.not sure if.

Preparations for wedding, seems like we got alot to do but i always say i got nothing to do.
everytime we discuss nvr come to a conclusion.

Honest speaking i dont have much frens i can speak to them abt.

Sometimes when im nua-ing at home, he just cant stand it.
Everyweek he will ask me whre to go over the weekend. Which im vry afraid of cos i like got no place to go one.

Sighs. Just dont understand why am i always so emotional...


Thanks for those who spent time reading.
Im not asking for advice but just to let it out as i dont have much frens i can turn to(just dont want to disturb others).

He cannot stand you being emotional? Maybe he needs to really rethink. Why are you marrying someone that couldn't accept you for who you are. Perhaps its just rant, guys get stressed with crying women because they don't know how to fix them. Fact is, what you need is just his validation and comfort. Someone to hug and sayang, when you are emotional. To listen and empathize. Good that you find this forum to let it out as well.

Thanks for ur reply
Just couldnt with my tears even though i tried to bear with it lor.
One of my weakness! Just afraid that one day he will just abandon me

Hi TS you does sounds a little depressive to me. it' fine if it is just nerves due to your pre marriage else you really should seek medical help. If yr htb can't manage your emotions which is a part of you, it's going to be a mental burden to him. Being with an emotional person whom one can't manage is very draining. Over time It will wear down anyone and bring everyone down. You should sort this out before your marriage. It is unfair to expect your spouse-to-be to fix your emotional problem. Remember, marriage is lifetime journey........ and not a solution for anything which remain a myth for many ignorant people.

I am worst than Doreen when in my 20s and gradually improved a little when I become a mother.
When I cry and I would grab anything within my reach and throw them on the floor.
When in the bedroom I would throw everything on my dressing table and when in the car I would be speeding.
Hubby would walk away and leave me alone. He would then help to clear the mess after I feel better.
Recently I throw his new iphone 6+ on the floor and luckily the phone is still working.

Hubby always reminds me to control myself and I am trying my best but many times I just could not.
He said he has no choice but to accept it and would say it is my parents that brought me up that way.

Makiyo+sad said:

I am worst than Doreen when in my 20s and gradually improved a little when I become a mother.
When I cry and I would grab anything within my reach and throw them on the floor.
When in the bedroom I would throw everything on my dressing table and when in the car I would be speeding.
Hubby would walk away and leave me alone. He would then help to clear the mess after I feel better.
Recently I throw his new iphone 6+ on the floor and luckily the phone is still working.

Hubby always reminds me to control myself and I am trying my best but many times I just could not.
He said he has no choice but to accept it and would say it is my parents that brought me up that way.

Click to expand...

Both wife and myself are emotional and short-fused. When it comes to tearing after watching movies, its me mostly.
As a kid, I threw things everytime, screamed till I lost my voice only to regret how I over-react. This continued through my late teens. Even in my 20s, I was slamming my room door with all my might in arguments to shut myself in the room. My room wall had major cracks around the door frame from all the abuse. Sometimes, I was so mad, I slammed my head or smashed my fist on the wall. However, we can improve if we want to. To say you are trying your best isn't enough. One needs to be reflective and get a grip over your own emotions. I no longer react as before. Even on the roads, I might still scold and make my unhappiness known but I have became a more patient driver with time. I have helped my wife cope better with her emotions as well. Never excuse bad behavior to our environment. No doubt, it influenced us to a significant extend, however, we can always change. Reflection is the key part to it. Don't expect big changes, take minor steps to do better in anger management, when you look back over time, you will see progress. Your husband can remind you all the time, how committed are you to improve? At then end of the day, look at the big picture.

I am the exactly opposite. Seriously I hardly loses myself. In my memory, I blew up like twice in my entire life, as in totally losing control like what were mentioned in throwing things and screaming. I am those who hardly get involved in quarrels because I would usually just walk away from confrontation. This avoidance of confrontation later became the reason for my breakdown in communication with my spouse. I avoided and ignore all differences to the point it became a denial issue. Because of this nature, problems are never resolved and over time they became cancerous. It's good and important to make known your feelings if you want to resolve problems but excessive display of tantrum will almost certainly backfire too. I guess it's down to getting the right balance, something which i failed miserably in my marriage.

Personally I feel that by voicing our disagreement and telling spouse our like & dislike will let our spouse knows our expectations.
We will understand each other better in that way. It is good to clarify when on doubts and I will always confront my hubby when necessary.
But strange as my hubby has never make a direct confrontation as he will ask indirectly whereas I am more direct in my approach.

Everyone will cry as we have feelings and we should not stop people from crying. It is always better after we cried as after that we will go to bed.

Hubby will be in tears when he is watching sad movies or even just an advertisement when the man passed a box of cake to a small boy as his grandmother has
no money to buy him the cake for his birthday. I asked him what happened and he said it reminded him of his childhood when his parents had no money to even buy rice.
He always says that I am lucky.

The open communication is good. No doubt about it. However, that do not need to come with bad behaviour and hurting others we love by venting our anger at them. If we are expressive in nature, that's where we need to be more careful. The best time to communicate is often not in an agreement but after when both are in the right mood